Write Sex Week: Day Five

by Kristina Lloyd and Nikki Magennis

Ain’t she a doll?

Yes, you’re looking at Lust Bites Monster Woman: pieces of us as patched together by Dr Nikki Frankenstein Magennis!

Heck – and you thought this week’s debates were scary. All we need is a bolt of lightning and this honey could be walking, talking and inviting you back to her place. LBMW hasn’t yet been named. Any ideas?

LBMW, you’ll notice, is a tad underdressed so Alison Tyler and Nikki Franki have been busy sewing T-shirts to clothe the poor lovely. And they have made a Lust Bites shop! Check it out in the sidebar on the right. Scroll down a bit. And a bit more. Mmm, yes, just a touch lower, yes, yes, there, ohhhh yes! Our shop. I'm so proud. And we are open for business. You can buy knickers with our name on! And T-shirts and mugs and you can hire hot men to come visit you and tattoo I heart Lust Bites across your buttocks!

Anyway, it’s been a fun week, hasn’t it? We must do it again sometime.

Thanks to all who played Guess the Gender. Alas, no one got all 7 excerpts correct, not even The Gender Genie. Nikki and Amy S got 5, so I think Amy S gets the prize. Amy S email us at, erm, oh bollocks ... at lustbitesladies AT yahoo DOT com (Hey, don’t look at me, ladies and gents. I didn’t choose the address.)

And here are the answers with some maths I did. The correct answers with the % who guessed right is highlighted in purple. For the full excerpts, check out Write Sex Week: Day One.

1/ She said, did I want her to show me what women like. I said yes.

You said: Female 46% Male 54% Gender Genie: Female Answer: FEMALE

From: Susanna Moore, In The Cut – a book loved by many Lusties, I suspect, and I am one of them.

2/ Hot-skinned and sticky about our thighs, the poet plucked me from the rock.

You said: Female 92% Male 8% Gender Genie: Female Answer: MALE

From: Lindsay Gordon, The Bond (Nexus), aka super-stylish, kink-packed vampire porn written by our very own editor, Adam Nevill of Black Lace Towers. Yes, vampires! Missy and Hank are on the run in the US of A. The whole book is female POV and I really don't know what it means that the male editor of a women-only imprint managed to fool nearly everyone into thinking he was a female author. He probably menstruates in synch with us.

3/ "Please," she repeated in a whisper as the cold stream of lubricant drizzled into her crack.

You said: Female 31% Male 69% Gender Genie: Female Answer: MALE

From: Carl Kennedy in Best Bondage Erotica (ed. Alison Tyler)

4/ How delightfully cruel he could be. And how part of her responded

You said: Female 62% Male 38% Gender Genie: Male Answer: FEMALE

From: Cleo Cordell, The Crimson Buccaneer (not DH Lawrence as was suggested). Cleo Cordell wrote for Black Lace in the 90s. The book seems to be out of print, otherwise I'd link to it.

5/ His cock slid between her lips effortlessly. She parted for him, taking him in

You said: Female 62% Male 38% Gender Genie: "The Gender Genie thinks the author of this passage is unknown." Answer: FEMALE

From: Sommer Marsden in Love at First Sting (ed. Alison Tyler) – ha, yes Sommer (aka Smut Girl), you managed to baffle the Gender Genie with a 50/50 split, you crafty little hermaphrodite, you.

6/ I was hungry to get my cunt stuffed with his dick again

You said: Female 69% Male 31% Gender Genie: Female Answer: FEMALE

From: a Lust Biter who ought to wash her mouth out with soap and water. 'Cynic', whoever you are, you were spot on: taken from a girlie mag, a reader’s letter as made up by the sub editor. Gawd, sub editing a porn mag. Some people will do anything for money.

7/ He has the most tender mouth, large and pink and powerful.

You said: Female 77% Male 15% Erastes (who clearly has her own gender) 8% Gender Genie: Male Answer: MALE

From: Joseph Olshan, Night Swimmer – I adore this book. It’s one of my favourites.

Anyway, that quiz was obviously just for fun but the results do raise some interesting questions about perceived notions of linguistic expression of gender identity within a heteronormative and patriarchal ...

SHUT UP! SHUT UP, I say! My ears are bleeding! The weekend starts tomorrow! I vote we all kick off our shoes (oooh, look - Jeremy already did) and play mass-footsie.

Many, many thanks to our brave/foolish manbloggers, Felix, Huck and Jeremy, and to all who've been with us this week. It's been emotional. Now please everyone, go buy a shameless Lust Bites T-shirt, and treat yourself to extra of whatever you fancy this weekend! I think we've earned it, man, woman and Erastes alike.

Cheers!
Kristina X

PS Next week, on the eve of the shortest night of the year in the North (ie Wed 20th June), Alison Tyler will be asking for your flash fiction - saucy snips of a 100 words or so. Alison will be picking her favourites and there will be prizes! Obviously, it's only open to women ... no, no! I'm joking! Anyone can enter, even the hedgehogs! Mark it in your diaries: Midsummer Quickies on Lust Bites, and get writing.