Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Virtual Passion, or True Romance

When we read a book, we can briefly take on another's identity in our imaginations and live another character's life and experiences - yet still we're restricted by the author's intentions. But there is a place where you can be anyone. You can be as beautiful as you want, be either male or female, strike up relationships, fall in love, be a slave, screw around - and the plot is up to you.

That place is the virtual world. Today's guest is Eloise Pasteur, longtime resident of Second Life and one of those mysterious people who actually make their living in the virtual realm, who has agreed to tell us a bit about how sex, love and relationships work in this brave new world.

Janine Ashbless

I was asked if I'd write a bit about love, romance, sex and relationships in Second Life. Happy to oblige. This might be payback for winning two prizes in two weeks!

Before I dive in to the nitty gritty, let's talk a bit about what Second Life (SL hereafter) is, for those of you that don't know. Because I will inevitably talk about them this way, RL is real life, the space where the flesh and blood avatars live, and IRL is "in real life."

homeSecond Life is often described as an online game, which is wrong - it contains none of the features you'd expect in a game like World of Warcraft etc. It is also compared to IRC with 3D chat rooms. That is sort of true, certainly truer, but it still falls short. There is something about seeing "people" and "places" (this is my house), that takes it, for everyone, beyond that. If you add in shopping, having a house but no housework, and if you're of that sort of a frame of mind, building, making clothes (so other people buy from you!), and so forth, then you're getting closer to what SL is.

If you have played an online game before, one other thing that might confuse you - essentially there are no such things as "monsters" or "non-player characters" or "machine operated players" - behind everyone you meet there's a person sat at a computer (or just nipped away to make tea, have a cigarette, go to the toilet, check their RSS feeds, whatever).

writingOh, you can also write in SL as well. There isn't spellchecking, formatting, etc. but there is a text editor, and this is the view I'm getting as I wwrite - this is my house, and of me sat on the bench, writing away. I'm not always naked by the way... in SL I let my submissive tendencies out, in an uninhibited way, and Mistress said no clothes for the day.

Having started here, with the BDSM end of the world, let me say that not everyone in SL is sexually active in SL - they are all (notionally) over 18 though. There is a separate grid for teens, and nothing for the under-13s at the moment. Of the adults that are sexually active in SL, there's quite a bit heterosexual, vanilla sex proportion. There are even people who choose to have babies in SL. There are, however, a lot of more fringe (well IRL) communities including:
Lesbian/gay sex,
BDSM private relationships and thriving communities,
Gorean roleplay communities,
Furry communities (includes dragons and birds btw, who aren't really furry),
Vampire communities,
Ageplay groups
I should also point out there are a range of other communities - educators, businesses, etc. that are not specifically (sometimes at all) linked to sexual behaviour and romance, although of course they're still in some ways about human interactions.

manIn SL your appearance is completely a matter of taste. With four clicks of the mouse I can change into a this. I look odd as a man, because I'm far from optimised for male appearance (and men are Ken and Barbie smooth between the legs unless they buy a penis attachment.)SLB penis

Changing height, breast size, shoulder size, weight, and everything else is just as easy. Changing hair styles and colours is about as easy. Acquiring nipple and clit rings is a lot less painful than real life, but takes a bit more effort than changing hair or gender!

dragons roosting in IoBecoming a furry, or a dragon, takes a bit more effort still, or some shopping, but it's a matter of moments to change to and fro once you've got the right bits. Whether or not you're sexually active there's also lots and lots of shopping to be done! This is a tiny part of the thousands of outfits in my "wardrobe."
clothesMore clothes
This ability to change gender probably results in at least some of the preponderance of the same-sex relationships. There's an on-going joke that in any lesbian threesome, two of the women are men, and when one leaves, it's the two men that are left. This can be true, although there are a fair number of RL lesbians, and lesbian-curious women, often married IRL, out there too. I'm not as au fait with the gay community, although I do know there is one. I assume it follows a similar pattern - RL gay men, women who want to know what being a man is like but still fancy male bodies, gay-curious men, all in a melting pot. Furries, many of whom have hermaphroditic avatars, and claims of "I'm the only straight furry in SL" can be quite common - very much shades of "I'm the only gay in the village." There are also a not too surprisingly high number of transsexuals, pre-op and post-op in SL. For what it's worth, I'm not really into casual sex, RL or SL, but I've had sex, in SL, with a man in a man's body, a lesbian woman, a male-to-female pre-op transsexual, a lesbian-curious woman and a man in a woman's body. The only combinations I've missed are hermaphodites and women in men's bodies - although I do know of several of each.

My current relationship is 6 months old next week (as I write, about 6.5 months by the time of posting). This is quite long by SL standards, although not uniquely so. There are relationships I know of in their fourth year and still going strong - but relationships reaching their first anniversary are unusual. I can't, entirely, explain this, but I can hazard a guess. I think relationships in SL burn hard and fast for a mix of reasons.

Firstly, SL starts, for many, as a dating game, and a game in which they learn the rules anew. Think back to your first relationships. Most of us run through a number of relationships fairly quickly as we learn what we like, don't like, how to relate to someone potentially and actually in a sexual nature. Then, as we grow more experienced, we learn both how to more successfully chose someone we'll like and do well with longer term, and we learn how to cope with imperfections better as well. SL is still, for many users, in the early days of the dating phase. If you add to that kissing being relative boring in SL (no actual press of bodies, lips etc.) and the relative anonymity and lack of risks of sexual activity, we tend to dive into sexual relationships very, very quickly. This ties to commitment/marriage emotionally in our minds, so we quickly establish all those routines whereas, IRL, we'd probably still be wondering about jumping into bed with the person, enjoying that anticipation of touches, contact, seeing them naked for the first time, being undressed by them and so on.

And with that as a lead in, time to talk about the mechanics of getting hot and sweaty in SL I think!

There are various sex toys in SL that more or less say what's happening and take control. Speaking personally, I'm not a fan of these. There are people who use the poses and animations, alone, watch their avatars humping away and apparently seem to be satisfied by this. Again, not for me. Speaking personally, sex in SL is a combination process. The poses, avatars and toys have their place - Mistress enjoys tugging my nipple rings and clit ring, and I'm moderately often out in public chained to her by clit, nipples and collar, and I love it. We've got a bed (well several actually), but I have strong memories of being chained to the bed and Mistress turning around and playing with me when she felt like it, but leaning on me as she was writing reports for RL work - rather like John Malkovitch and Uma Thurman in "Dangerous Liaisons" but with added bondage fun. They're the quiet times if you like.

When we're being more active, the poses and the toys still play a part, but the sex becomes co-operative storytelling.

This is an extract of the sort of mix I mean - stuff in blue is generated by a toy, stuff in black is written (but has been proofread) by a person:

A large dildo appears at the top of the machine, sliding into Eloise.
The large dildo begins to pulse and vibrate inside of Eloise.
A thin dildo appears at the back of the machine, penetrating Eloise.
Mistress Lilly presses a control. The thin dildo begins to pulse and vibrate inside of Eloise's rear.
Mistress Lilly spanked Eloise's ass
Eloise: Eight thank you Mistress
Mistress Lilly nibbles Eloise's right nipple set in its ring. Eloise closes her eyes and draw in a sharp breath.
Mistress Lilly presses a control. The large dildo stops vibrating.
The large dildo begins to pulse and vibrate inside of Eloise.
Mistress Lilly presses a control. The thin dildo stops pulsing.
The thin dildo begins to pulse and vibrate inside of Eloise's rear.
Eloise writhes in pleasure as the vibration start to stir her core, lust and desire building inside her
Mistress Lilly smiles and watches her sweet eloise grab at her nipples, her core and ass filled, neck chained...
Mistress Lilly kneels and places her silky tongue on eloise's clit
Mistress Lilly feels the bouncing
Mistress Lilly spanked Eloise's ass
Mistress Lilly presses a control. The thin dildo slips back into the machine.
Eloise shrieks in delight as your tongue adds to the sensations from her pussy
Eloise: Nine thank you Mistress
Mistress Lilly spanked Eloise's ass
Mistress Lilly spanked Eloise's ass
Eloise presses down against your tongue, writhing happily with each smack
Eloise's clit is being touched by Mistress Lilly.
Eloise: Ten thank you Mistress
Mistress Lilly extends their tongue and drags it across Eloise's folds to the clit.
Eloise: Eleven thank you Mistress
Mistress Lilly extends their tongue and drags it across Eloise's folds to the clit.
Eloise tips her head back and screams in bliss
Eloise's clit is nibbled between Mistress Lilly's teeth tenderly.
Mistress Lilly points their tongue and jabs it deeply into Eloise.
Mistress Lilly leashes your clit and pull on it as she nipples on your clit
Eloise arches her back, opening herself further to you "AAAhhh, Please Mistress?"
Mistress Lilly: please what, eloise?
Mistress Lilly twists Eloise's right nipple ring. Eloise closes her eyes and draw in a sharp breath.
Eloise: Please can I cum Mistress?
Mistress Lilly flicks Eloise's right nipple ring. Eloise closes her eyes and squirms deliciously.
Mistress Lilly slides their fingers along Eloise's labia and spreads them open.
Mistress Lilly shakes her head "No...I am busy drinking your pussy eloise"
Eloise groans and grinds down on your fingers and tongue
Eloise: Yes Mistress
Mistress Lilly pours a glass of champagne and pours it on your pussy, licking up the juices mixed with the sweet champagne
Mistress Lilly offer the glass to you for a sip...and then pours more on your nipples and licks them clean....

This was my third rezday (SL birthday) present, or part of it. Excuse, it's bringing back happy memories, I'll be back later!

Phew, back. Fingers clean. Where was I? Oh, yes: It might not match up to the polished, professional writing you're used to reading here, but this is conducted, back and forth, in real time. Often one-handed at both ends, and with increasingly bad grammar and spelling as we get more and more excited. In that sense, and in a way that book never manages to my mind, it's interactive, just like real sex. Even if you're tied to the bed so hard you can't move and it's all being done to you, your body responds, your mind responds IRL, and in SL too.

Just like IRL, our relationship (I'd venture to say all the lasting ones), aren't based solely on sex, although it's certainly a part of it. We work together, we play together, we chat together. We share the frustrations and triumphs of RL and SL. We've never met, although we are talking about it, but we share our time, our lives (first and second), we have a relationship however you want to measure it - but of course, what would you expect when it's people's hearts and minds that engage with each other?

To try and keep this down to the size limits, I had to edit out my answers to a lot of very reasonable questions the Lust Biters asked. I'm happy to try and pick up answers to questions in the comments - I don't live on the refresh button, but I will check back several times over the next few hours and days so should get to all your questions. If you come into Second Life, look me up!


Deanna Ashford said...

Goodness, there is whole cyberworld out there that I know nothing about. I was a really interesting read, Eloise, thanks for letting us know about it.

I have never been able to understand the the fascination for computer games but this may well be very different....

Portia Da Costa said...

Thanks for a fascinating and enlightening post, Eloise! I'd heard of SL, but I wasn't aware of its full erotic potential! Wow, it sounds amazing!

I doubt if I'll ever explore SL myself, as I have enough trouble organising my first life, never mind handling two... but thanks ever so much for telling us all about it.

Janine Ashbless said...

Thanks for doing this guest post Eloise - and for letting me turf you awake at the ungodly hour of 11am to post it!

I haven't myself got the computer capacity for 2L, but it does fascinate me, and I'm always bugging Eloise with questions about how it works. The idea of a realm in which your identity is in *no way* connected to your physical form is just amazing - and so liberating. Particularly for women, perhaps. You almost become that Cartesian "Ghost in the Machine."

Having said that, the things that most tempt me about 2L are
1) The potential to look really GREAT,
2) The potential to be a bloke for a while, and
3) The potential to have loads of kinky embarassing sex with good-looking people and with no physical risk at all (no rape, no pregnancy, no STDs).

Which is just mind-bogglingly shallow of me, isn't it?

Janine Ashbless said...

BTW, the Erectable Penis advert amuses me no end. LoL!

Amanda said...

thanks, Eloise. fascinating stuff. i tried Second Life, but i was put off by the constant need for money and all the advertisements. felt too much like real life to me. alas. i'd be interested to hear how the money works in SL. i was just a neophyte so i didn't learn the ropes, but it felt like you had to purchase everything.

Anonymous said...

Cocks for men are an optional extra!

*scratches head*

Eloise said...

Mathilde, from my pov the men don't need cocks - the temptation to say they're big enough dicks without it is very strong!

Amanda, a lot of the stuff about money depends on where you go. For sure, if you head off to the "wrong" places you'll find ad farms and the like, and if you wander through a shopping mall, there's lots of stuff on display to buy.

But, there's lots of stuff for free too. Although it's not my thing particularly, Mistress enjoys lucky chair hopping. This requires no cash, and you can get get everything from hair, to clothes, to houses free. Some (much) of it is poor quality, but some is excellent.

As for getting money, there's no compulsion to "work." Load up on Linden Dollars from your credit card (sticking a £10 bill on your credit card will get you about L$5,000) and you can't quite shop 'til you drop, but you could buy all the clothes I'm wearing in the pictures and still have quite a lot left over. I choose to work in SL, scripting, building, teaching and the like, and I make a load of stuff that I sell. I think the most expensive single item I sell is L$500, which is less than £1. That said, hmm, I went shopping at the weekend and spent L$50, I'm planning to go for a brand new outfit (in 5 colours) later today, L$150. The clothes I wore last week were basically colour variations on a theme (Mistress liked it) enough for over a week's worth at L$350. Your L$5000 for a tenner really does go a long way.

If you do choose to work, there's a variety of jobs available. There is, for example, a thriving escort industry, and strippers too. At the other end of the pay scale, there are jobs such as scripting and building, or clothes design, which can, more or less, make you a RL living. These are, by and large, dependent on your RL skills, but I know of 2 single parents who support their family solely from their clothes selling businesses in SL. Anshe Chung claims to hold resources worth US$1,000,000 purely in SL.

The erectile penis was just about the only thing Janine asked me to change about my post (I had to alter a sentence or two for comprehension), and she took great relish is choosing which picture of one for sale to use!

Janine, as you know, lots of people use SL to look great and have kinky sex. Shallow, maybe, but far from uncommon. You'll just have to be brave and upgrade the computer sometime!

Olivia Knight said...

This sounds so dangerously up-my-street that I don't dare even explore it... Like Portia, the demands and obsessions of RL don't leave much time. I remember playing the Sierra computer games as a kid - King's Quest and so on. Okay, this dates me, let's just say I was a very computer-literate two-year-old. I never really got into the missions of the game or understood how to go about my quest, I was much happier pottering about the forests, sweeping in the kitchen, eating the grapes I'd found, and so forth. I didn't want to play the game, I just wanted to live in it. The same way I would've liked to have lived in a doll's house. (There's a life-long penchant for anything miniature here as well...) SL appeals for the same reason. I don't know that I'd even use it for sexual exploration - I'd probably get caught up in decor and the joys of pixellated flowers, skipping around with a little basket...

Madelynne Ellis said...

It sounds fascinating, but also strangely addictive, something tells me that SL and writing wouldn't mix well. They both involve too many time commitments.

kristina lloyd said...

Eloise, do you dream of SL? I mean properly dream - at night when you're asleep. What's the landscape of your subconscious? I'd love to know.

Alison Tyler said...

What an absolutely interesting post! I tried SL for a day or so. But I'm a klutz on and offline. I couldn't really make SL work for me. But the idea itself is totally mesmerizing, and I loved reading about it.

Also, first t-shirt of the day (and perhaps a possibility for quote of the month?):

I don't live on the refresh button

No judgment to those of us who, um, do, right?


P.S. Mat, you've clearly gone spiraling out into some other alternate universe at the "the men don't need cocks" comment, haven't you?

Alison Tyler said...

Oh, Violet Blue has a SL-themed post up today, too!

TeresaNoelleRoberts said...

Fascinating but not entirely new to me.

I've spent many a happy hour peering over my husband's shoulder as he and his equally straight male friend roleplayed their lesbian characters in City of Heroes. It was supposed to be a bit of public roleplay started to tweak some other player, but quickly developed a life of its own--partly an in-joke, partly a way to wander around inside the female brain for a bit. (He had me write the naughty bits for him, which the other guy said wasn't fair.)

Madeline Moore said...

A few Lusties have suggested that this might be too addictive to be safe for them and I'm here to say - absolutely true.

I was a chatroom addict for over a year. In the (bdsm) chatroom I frequented we could write dialogue and description, so it was very much like co-operative,improvisational scriptwriting.

With my typing skills and writing ability, I was very *popular* in the virtual world. Eventually I had to leave. You can imagine the response I got to 'I'm leaving town', but that's what I did, I left cybertown, never to return.

Discovering the chats was like falling down the rabbit hole. I was Alice in a new world and I couldn't get enough of it.

So why did I leave. Because I couldn't get enough of it.

Madeline Moore said...

ps - perhaps the most amazing thing about virtual people is how honest they are. I didn't talk about my RL, but a lot of people did. I told one big lie, all the time, and that was when I pretended I was actually having a RL orgasm, which I *virtually* never did. The fun, for me, was in making up sexy scenarios...and now I'm an erotica writer...

Jeremy Edwards said...

I didn't want to play the game, I just wanted to live in it. The same way I would've liked to have lived in a doll's house.

I can really identify with this, Olivia. Sometimes a stage set, or the universe evoked in a novel, or even the little world of a sitcom has an appeal for me beyond the appeal of the actual story. I might tire of the characters before I tire of their alluring, make-believe world.

Alison, I think "those of us" who do live on the refresh button may need an alternate slogan:

"If you don't like the last thing I said, click REFRESH."

P.S. My spam-word is wxdirnl (as in "I'm usually a creature of the night, but occasionally I wax diurnal).

Shanna Germain said...

Oooh, Jeremy, I wax my diurnal too! :)

I loved hearing about this as well. Seems like us writer types love the change to live in another world and body. I was a WOW fanatic for a while, and had to turn myself off too. It was too easy to play a character when I should have been writing a character :)

Anonymous said...

The men are dicks and they don't have cocks! Hmm, I'm not too worried about this becoming my time sink.

Also, that thing you said about no kissing. For all I'm a cerebral writer I'm terribly *physical*. If the hardware caught up with the software I might think different.

But that still brings us back to the men having no cocks. The men have no cocks! Seriously, at what meeting did they decide to make the default for the male avatars no-cock? How many women were at that meeting? I bet the female avatar default isn't no-tits!

Alison Tyler said...

Seriously, at what meeting did they decide to make the default for the male avatars no-cock?

Oh, my god, I'm laughing. I'm laughing so hard I can't type. Oh, wait, I'm typing. But still, laughing, too.


Eloise said...

Second Life really isn't a game, if you want to wander around with a basket of flowers, that's an option that's available, certainly!

The landscape of my imagination? Um, you won't find it through my dreams, I just don't remember my dreams, ever, about anything. You probably can find it in my Second Life, at least in part. Janine might be able to add additional insight!

Actually, although the men don't come with cocks as standard, they do come with an adjustable "bulge" for under their clothes. Similarly women are smooth, and both genders are without nipples as provided.

Buying a skin (or finding a good free one) will give you nipples and external female genitalia, some male skins also come with colour matched attachable male genitals. As a man you only need the penis (in SL at least) if you're going to be naked and/or playing sexual games on a regular basis after all.

It's not true that all men are dicks in SL, it was just too good a line to pass up (that probably says something about my unconscious mind too). However, as SL has grown and in particular as it has attracted more and more people who are being told to be in SL for work, it is, very sadly, acquiring it's share of patronising sexist morons. Early adopters - when I joined SL there were about 25,000 residents in total, now we're close to 10,000,000 (there's lots of politics around that figure, but that's accounts made ever and not banned, more or less) - early adopters tend to be more open about a whole range of things. People here (SL) for work, and in my experience particularly American males in academia, tend to the sexist. In fact, a number of them would be sacked if they worked and expressed such attitudes in the UK.

You can bet your bottom dollar that the men in SL who play sexually have a penis, or several.

There are "teledildonics" tools, for example a remote control vibrator that will let someone else control it. They still don't do the kissing thing though, sadly. My imagination works very well through to my body, if I read about a kiss, or a vibrator sliding into me, I feel it. I quite regularly sit down rather gingerly after a good spanking, with a sore bum IRL as well, despite all the blows being virtual. Adding that extra dimension would be nice, but I can cope without it very happily.

Jeremy Edwards said...

Mat wrote:
Seriously, at what meeting did they decide to make the default for the male avatars no-cock?

Wow, I didn't even know Microsoft had anything to do with SL!

I'm just teasing, Eloise. But I do have a question: When you say "adjustable bulge," do you mean that the user can alter its size/placement . . . or do you just mean it's well-suited for that "adjusting oneself" piece of body language that men sometimes indulge in?

Janine Ashbless said...

The most telling thing Eloise let me in on about 2L was an educational exercise she witnessed where a group of (male) students were told to convert their male avatars to female ones. And every single one of them added a gun.

Dear oh dear...

Janine Ashbless said...

Actually, that tells you nothing about 2L. Just a lot about how vulnerable men feel without their cocks.

Eloise said...

In SL you can affect your avatar's shape by appearance sliders. There are obvious ones like height, leg length, amount of muscles, shoudler width, hip width, how flat your bum is etc. that are shared. Females get sliders to affect their breasts, size, cleavage, how much gravity has affected them etc. Males get a slider for how beardy they are, and a different one called, I believe "package size" which runs from coin purse to duffel back as it's range. One has to wonder how many are at or near the 'coin purse' end of the scale and how many closer to, or at, the duffel bag end of the range!

Kate Pearce said...

Thanks for an insightful and fascinating post!

My husband has tried out 2L and he thought it was fascinating and also something it would be easy to become addicted to.

I'm really not a very visual person at all and I'd worry that I'd like it too much and never want to leave!

Eloise said...

Janine missed out a couple of bits of the story about the sex changing class.

The men all made really quite unattractive women with HUGE guns. Not quite sure what they were compensating for... perhaps some BCSD sneaking in too?

The women in the class all made fairly convincing men... As you might have noticed my tastes don't run to male bodies, so whether they made sexy ones I'm not sure, but most of the men looked like failed drag queens rather than women in their new bodies, even before they added the guns.

Dayle A. Dermatis said...

Very interesting stuff! I've never gotten the allure of roleplaying myself, but I do find all of this quite educational! Thanks for sharing! (Er, so to speak!)

Madeline Moore said...

It is my belief that anything to do with computers is potentially addictive, except, perhaps, using a computer as a word processor.

When I first joined the chats I ordered an online book about chat addiction. I read it and was satisfied that I wasn't an addict.

When I decided to leave the chats I read the book again - Bingo! Definitely a chat addict.

Since I left the chats I've avoided any such stuff. Although I would make an excellent hostess, because of my typing and writing abilities, I'd only do so if I were being paid, at which point I would've acquired a dream stay-at-home job.

Lust Bites is the first time since my chat addiction that I've ventured into any sort of chat world. I visit LB every day, to support the blog by commenting on every new post (coming attractions and prize winners excepted.) I consider the LB blog to be a work-related endeavor that has become a support system for the sometimes isolated life of a Canadian writer of erotica.

Seven years ago, when I was into the whole chat thing, (which was while I was still in an unhappy marriage) there were estimated to be over 7 million people a day in chatrooms. That's a whole lotta chat goin' on...

I love the idea of SL, love it with all my disbelief suspending heart, but I won't go near it. Why? Because I'm happy in my life and I don't have time to live a second one.

Also, relationships have to grow or they die, which means at some point virtual relationships must become RL relationships or they'll die.

Oops - someone just sent a new alien to my solar system on Facebook. Must fly! :)

Madeline Moore said...

ps - Janine and eloise, thank you for this fascinating glimpse of SL.

Eloise said...

I don't have a particularly addictive personality. I used to smoke, and when I decided I was going to quit, I just stopped. I don't do well on any test of personality types showing addiction (perhaps that should be I do do well, in the sense of I never show as addicted).

SL on the other hand... Well, someone Janine and I know (her better than me) has started in SL about a year ago. His wife is concerned he's spending over 18 hours a day in SL. I don't think this is outrageous. Until I had meningitis before Christmas I hadn't missed a day in SL in 2.5 years... I'm not an addict, I can give up any time, honest!

Ally said...

Peek a Boo!

Yes this is Ally's avatar.

I loved this post so much I had to go change my face for the occasion.

I always loved the virtual world. It seems much easier to manage and so much more is in my control. (Yes control freak here.)

My 1st experience in the virtual world came as a SIM's addict. I could be born, grow, graduate from university, have sex with as many partners as I wanted, rise to the top of my career, have babies, raise them, grow old and die all in a matter of days.

Although I have heard of SL I have never made it that far. But a friend did introduce me to IMVU, which as far as I can tell, it is much like it. But I have a feeling it isn't as sophisticated, I could be wrong, I am still a newbie. I do run a support group on there and it is nice to find people with common interests and needs.

I haven't gone so far as to have virtual cyber sex, although I have had some interesting conversations. My friend is always making out with some new guy every night and I think that's great.

I still don't spend much time in that world because I am far more addicted to blogging, and I am trying to spend more time writing.

I don't own a credit card, so it is a bit of a drawback that I can't buy extra stuff. But my friends often buy me stuff from my wish list.

I also have a job online working as a chat host for The Romance Galleria where I get to interview erotic authors each week, it is like a 3D virtual environment as well, but not nearly as advanced. I wish it were as cool, because going from there to IMVU is like night and day.

Thanks so much for diving into something so up my “Ally”... lmao.

Janine Ashbless said...

Ally, your avatar is so cute!

Damn, now I want an avatar. Actually what I want is an Erectable Penis...

(Not in real life. Um. At least, I don't think so. Maybe just once in a while so I can get it out and play with it...)

Alison Tyler said...

Well, someone Janine and I know (her better than me) has started in SL about a year ago. His wife is concerned he's spending over 18 hours a day in SL. I don't think this is outrageous.

Does your friend have relationships with other avatars online? Do people think this would be cheating (does his wife?)—any more or less that relationships in chatrooms, etc?

I'm curious... I mean, I'd be jealous. But that's just me.

Eloise said...

Um, I don't think this particular person is in an online relationship, but I don't know.

On facebook, I describe my relationship status as "complicated." Legally I'm single IRL. I also have a firm, exclusive relationship in SL, so I don't have a jealous RL partner to worry about.

Past me, you see all kinds of options. There are other single people. There are RL couples who are both in SL, and in an SL relationship with each other. There are one or both of an RL couple in SL in an active relationship with someone else. Some partners regard this as cheating, and are devastated if they find out, some are very open about it.

I've been in a relationship with someone whose RL partner got in touch to remind me it was "our" partner's RL birthday and to make a fuss of her, because she would never remind me, but would love to have such a fuss made.

My take? It's up to you and your RL partner. Of course quite a few marriages have affairs, so an SL relationship might have the lure of the forbidden for an affair too...

And Janine, we can get you an affair whenever you like... the sign up process is easy for SL and I can talk you through it. :p

Janine Ashbless said...

No - I'm not doing SL! I've read what Madeline and others said, and I can't see that spending hours of creative fun online is going to be compatible with writing. I barely have enough time IRL as it is!

Also I *do* have an addictive personality for some things (logic problems, mostly, but Blogging too, which augurs very badly) and the only way to deal with it is to cut it out altogether. Sorry Eloise!

kristina lloyd said...

Facebook! Lust Bites is on Facebook. I set it up a while ago and don't really know what we're doing there yet. But if anyone wants to look us up and make friends, please do!

Phone Sex said...

That’s good or enjoys full blog. I know nothing about. Amanda, a lot of the stuff about money depends on where you go. For sure, this sounds so dangerously up-my-street that I don't dare even explore it... Like Portia, That's nice mind use in this post I respect well in your thinking.

Anonymous said...

SL looks horrid. What can be better than standard life and standard world. And normal sex?

Escorts Colombia said...

Your blog is erudite. I must appreciate your concept. For more information I will be in touch.
call girls bogota