The Erotic Circus

‘…Even as she convulsed with the orgasm, she knew somewhere within herself that this abandon was what drove her, what she had always been chasing, as she danced and flirted and listened for the roar of the crowd out beyond the stage. The sensation of being fucked beyond reason was the same as that of dancing herself to a frenzy, surrendering to the desires of the audience, of her lovers, her own body.’

I wrote Circus Excite over the course of one intense and feverish summer. I was in love with everything – my new boyfriend, my first book contract, the circus that I was creating inside my head.

I was terrified too, of course. Along with My First Contract came My First Deadline. White knuckle typing.

I’d been working for this for years. Only, I hadn’t considered what writing erotica would mean to me. A smut writer? How sexy, frightening, outrageous and strange.

Circus Excite is Julia’s story – how she falls in love with the life and idea of the circus: brazen, fantastic, louche and romantic. But as I wrote the book, I found it was as much of an adventure for me as it was for my heroine.

Writing such private, secret, intimate thoughts down on paper scared me. It was something like the dreams you have as a kid about turning up at school naked. Because I found I could only write the scenes if they turned me on – there’s a fierce honesty in writing erotica that meant I had to lay bare my darkest inner self.

In the book the ringmaster (ah! the ringmaster!) leads Julia through her sexual awakening, manipulates her actions and dares her to shock him. He teaches Julia to love the ethos of the circus - a place where nothing is as it appears. From the darkness of the tent come dazzling spectacles, freaks and clowns, glitter and smoke and mirrors…

I had a ball researching. I spent the summer visiting circuses and burlesque shows. I saw the beautiful Speigeltent, and interviewed the lovely Foxy Rouge. I have a box full of ticket stubs and articles on Blackpool Pleasure Beach, stills from Moulin Rouge and notes from the Chinese State Circus. Circus is a visual feast.
Eroticism blends beautifully with the whole idea of circus. Both are a celebration of fantasy, and both are unashamedly hedonistic. Both are also often a guilty pleasure, seen as separate from other more ‘serious’ arts. But as my character learnt to love the circus, so I learned to love writing erotica. It became a playground for my fantasies, somewhere I could let my imagination run wild.

Under the ringmaster’s influence, Julia finds the courage to explore her kinks. The other performers were fabulous opportunities to try out different scenarios – the earthy, fuckable Joe and the enigmatic Sylvie are two of my favourites. Their encounters with Julia are usually woven into their acts, so they become part of the whole circus. Contortion, illusion, and acrobatics become sex scenes. The difference between the highly charged performances and life backstage blurs.

As the circus tours, Julia grows stronger. She discovers more about her sexuality and her love of performance, until at the climax she has the confidence to …

But I can’t give away all the secrets here, now can I? If you want to know the full story, you’ll have to buy a ticket to CIRCUS EXCITE…




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Visit Nikki's blog for a taste of Circus Excite