Thursday, June 7, 2007

Guilty Pleasures

by Alison Tyler

My world is ripe with guilty pleasures. I have so many, I can hardly keep track…. You might think all of my guilty pleasures are sexual, but I tend not to feel guilty about what I do in bed, or against a tree, or bent over a car. Those are actual pleasures. My guilty ones are those I don’t like to admit….the ones that make my cheeks go pink… My true guilty pleasures tend to be more about sugar and shopping than shagging. And I’m ready to confess them all. Or at least the first three. Not only will I confess, I’m also going to link to excerpts from my blog that feature these guiltiest of pleasures.

Deep breath for courage, here. My name is Alison Tyler, and I buy boots…

Christ, do I buy boots… What made me think I needed turquoise. And purple. And the black ones. And three pairs of red ones. And the ones with the patches… and the zippers… Of course, boots can lead to sex. Wearing kick-ass boots definitely enhances an erotic mood.

I’d chosen a short plaid skirt, tight black t-shirt, black boots with silver buckles, fishnet stockings. Under the skirt, I had on ruby red satin panties, same color as the red in the plaid skirt. Same color as the lipstick I’d chosen, lipstick that quickly stained the rim of my tiny cup…

Read more: Constant Craving

Which leads us neatly to my second very guilty pleasure…

Lipstick… just look at it… With the money I’ve spent on tubes of merlot-colored gloss, I could have gone to Paris. Twice.

I think the prettiest I’ve ever felt has been mornings after I’ve been up all night. Makeup smeared, lipstick all but kissed off so that only a scarlet stain remains…

Read more: Punish Me with Kisses

So yes, lipstick can also lead to sex. Hmmm. And this was all supposed to be about how my guilty pleasures have nothing to do with sex. But what about my guilty pleasure number three? Tee-shirts. There’s nothing all that sexy about tees, is there?

“What am I using on you in your little fantasies?” Jack murmured next, prompting me.

“Your belt,” I said. “The one you wore today. You don’t even have the time to get something else. You come right through the door and you bend me over and I get to hear the sound of the buckle and then the sound of the belt pulling through your loops.”

I was touching myself now. This was my porn. “And you start on top of my clothes.”

“What are you wearing?”

I actually had to look down, I was in such a daze. What was I wearing? Faded 501s, black mules, vintage Rolling Stone concert t-shirt, so old there were holes throughout the near translucent fabric.

“Jeans,” I told him.

“I start on your jeans?”

”Yeah, for the first few licks, and then you reach around my waist and unbutton them, slide them down my thighs.”

“You’ve got on panties?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“And I use the belt on you through your panties?”

“Yes, Jack,” I said, “but then you pull them down.”

“I don’t make you do it?”

“No, Sir. You pull them down yourself…”


Read more: Stormy Monday

Yeah, there was a t-shirt in there.
Somewhere.
I think.

Well, damn. I guess all of my guilty pleasures do involve sex in some way or another. Who would ever have thought?

Now, how about you? What pleasures make your cheeks turn pink? Share if you dare. And if you want to make one of my guilty pleasures your own, visit 80stees.com. Through Saturday June 9th, enter lustbites at your point of purchase to receive a 20% discount! You know I’m going to be buying this one…, and this one… oh, and this one…


XXX,
Alison

68 comments:

Portia Da Costa said...

Oh yeah! Fantastic post!

I have a ton of self indulgent pleasures like this... but I don't call them guilty pleasures because I mostly don't feel guilty about them. I wish I did... my bank balance would be a lot healthier.

I'm a tee shirt addict too. Logos, films and TV, heroes, quirky stuff... but they have to be black, always black. I think I must have at least a hundred, probably closer to 150, and my most unusual one is a hero one... of Professor Stephen Hawking. With the quote 'My goal is simple... it is the complete understanding of the universe.'

Way to go, Steve!

Mathilde Madden said...

Well remind me never to marry you, Alison Tyler! We would never pay the rent. Mine include: bizarre foodstuffs (I have to buy it - it's squid, in a tin!), DVD box sets, pulp novels I never read, cushions, handcuffs,...I'm stopping now.

Nikki H said...

I love books! I frequently hide them (and the cardboard delivery case from amazon!) from my DH because he just doesn't get it. I'll pick up a new book to read and he'll say "Bought another have you?" to which I'll answer "This old thing? Oh, I've had it ages".

I could spend hours in bookstores. Lovely, lovely new books. The feel, the smell. I even work in a library! (waving to Wendy, who used to)

Oh, and then there's chocolate. But I don't hide that. Thorntons and Hotel Chocolat are kept running from my purchases alone and yet I'm still as thin as a rake. You can't fatten a thoroughbred, as my mother says...

PS. loved those bottles in pic one!

Janine Ashbless said...

DVDs, which I buy far faster than I watch so they stack up.

Holiday porn. You know, the sort you get by going onto Expedia and working out where you could go next week for £500. I read holiday tour brochures too, obsessively - Exodus and Explore - and drool over Rough Guides that I get out of the library.

We've just decided to go to Burning Man next year. Or at least *I've* decided - Mr Ashbless is tagging along, protesting feebly that he doesn't do Participation in Art. Burning Man is one enormous holiday-anticipation orgy!

kristina lloyd said...

Walking very fast along the seafront with some big noise on my iPod. I feel I ought to be communing with the waves. And sometimes I do commune. But sometimes the point is just to walk very fast and listen to a big noise.

Solitude. Ignoring people. Leaving my mobile switched off for days. I am horribly good at this.

I don't really do 'stuff'. Although I'm looking around this room and that's clearly a filthy great lie. I have too many books and jackets and naked male slaves. (One of those is not quite true.)

Shoes don't do much for me either. I'm weird, I know. I only have about 3 pairs (could somebody please pick Alison up off the floor - she seems to have fainted) ... actually, I just checked my wardrobe. I have 15. But that includes boots and sandals and things I haven't got round to throwing away. *Honestly* it does.

Squid in a tin? Are you serious?

Alison Tyler said...

Oh, my god, Kristina. Oh, my god! Care package coming your way with new shoes... Three pairs? What the fuck?

And, Wendy, 150 teeshirts? You're my hero! I just love them. I was moaning the other day about the ones I had from high school which have disappeared. My favorite said, "You're soaking in it" across the chest with the name plate "Madge" over the right breast. (It was from a dishwashing detergent commercial in the US in the 80s.)

Oh, and Janine, have you read the women's travel anthology "There's Sand in My Bra?" It's a collection of short stories, but the title one is from Burning Man. I will look for it on my shelves if you haven't read it.

Now, more, please. Tell me more pleasures. My guiltiest pleasure of all is probably being the ravaging voyeur that I am.

XXX,
Alison

P.S. Tilly, I am purposefully ignoring your comment. Squid...In...a...Tin? Still making my head spin, but I haven't had enough coffee yet!

Smut Girl said...

Pajamas. I have a ton. My favorite summer ones are purple with tootsie roll pops and purple lipstick prints all over the pants. On the tank is the owl from the old commercials "How man licks does it take?" (Not many if you know what you're doing).

Other guilty pleasures: nail polish, red wine, flip flops, boots, jeans, silver jewelry, Supernatural, reality TV, Monk, books that make me laugh out loud, buying books, funky tees (favorite Careful, Or You'll End Up In My Novel), hoodies (favorite: I Get Paid To Talk To The People In My Head...), obsessive emailing...

Those are just a few. And we have squid in a tin in the pantry. What's the big deal?
xo
Sommer

sm said...

guilty pleasures are the best kind... it's through them that we blush at the things most secret, revealing..., and as for missing out on two Parisian trips due to over-indulging on lipstick, all I can think to say is, no worries, you'll have more fun plushly puckering up...

Nikki H said...

Confession time - Alison (deep breath) I too possess one pair of black shoes, one pair of heeled boots and a pair of trainers.

That's it.

(Ducks for cover, whilst simultaneously laying a pillow on the floor for Alison to faint onto)

Alison Tyler said...

Oh, my god, what is wrong with you people? Have you not heard of Zappos.com? I'm feeling the need to grab ahold of all of you and go shoe shopping...

But, Nikki, what are your guilty pleasures? If not shoes, then what? And if you say "Squid in a Tin," I'm going to have to come to your house. I swear.

XXX,
Alison

P.S. Sommer, I think my first guilty pleasure was my nailpolish collection. I had more than 100 when I was in junior high.

Shanna Germain said...

No, no, I don't have a single guilty pleasure. Really, I swear. What, you don't believe me? Why don't you tie me up and see if you can get a confession out of me?

Ok, so most of you already know I'm lying (or is that laying? Alison? Help!)

My biggest guilty pleasure is used finds. I'm a greenie at heart, and I love a bargain, so if I can find a great used outfit for $10, my pulse just goes boom-boom. Latest finds: a dark brown wrap-around dress that highlights my curves ($14), a pair of Nine West knee-high brown leather boots ($10), and a wide leather bangle bracelet ($2). The look on my guy's face when I showed up in the outfit: Yowza. The look when I told him the whole thing cost $26: Priceless.

I also have a thing for office supplies, journals, books and bags. (Not purses, but Timbuk2 and bike bag kinds of things.). Most of those I can write off as office expenses though, which makes it feel a little less guilty.

I think that's it. I own some shoes, mostly Danskos for travel and heels for...uh...staying home. Oh, wait, I lied (again). Undies are a big one for me. Cute thongs, little lacy things with bows (ha, I just typed "with boys")...It's the only truly girly side that I have, and I love the fact that I get to hide it under jeans and a t-shirt.

Ok, I'm going to stop now before I discover even more guilty pleasures. Like squid. Or dishwashing liquid. Or pillows for fainting.

s.

Olivia Knight said...

I'm doing brilliantly in the shoe department at the moment, which is surprising as I actually hate wearing shoes and am far happier barefoot. Then again, I also quite like being six foot tall, which isn't quite possible without a good pair of heels.

My guilty pleasures should probably include things like books (they're taking over the house like triffids) and red wine (what's the point of these tiddly little 75cl bottles? give me a barrel), but I suffer no guilt over these. Being a cultural snob of the worst kind, my real guilty pleasures are...
* Angel (it was a phase a few months ago - I think it's over)
* 24 (on DVD, watching until 3 or 4 in the morning..)
* Doctor Who (David Tennant! Quick! Shag me! Or at least permit the doctor's tardis to magically appear in my living room next to my laptop, then whisk me away to alien places and far galaxies while telling me how famous I'm going to be in later life and accidentally triggering off some of my finest works with this experiences you give me, and show me what's it's like to have sex with a man who's ancient and forever, who burns at the centre of time and can see the turn of the universe, who's fire and ice and rage, who's like the night and the storm in the heart of the sun... just like every night before I fall asleep...)

Then there's these two guilty pleasures...

* crushing on people who don't actually exist (like the Doctor and Legolas)
* crushing on people I've never met (like David Tennant and Orlando Bloom)

...and I can't work out which is sadder.

Then there are just some very odd pleasures:
* cutting my toenails (I don't know why I enjoy this so much)
* cleaning my ears (ditto)
* making databases (I know why I enjoy this, but I also know I shouldn't)

Janine Ashbless said...

hoodies (favorite: I Get Paid To Talk To The People In My Head...)

I want that hoodie! Where'd you get one?

Alison Tyler said...

Oh, good, Olivia! You've given us the perfect TV segue (because I'm filing your nail clipping/ear cleaning in the Squid in a Tin category).

My initial post listed my TV guilty pleasures:

Workout on Bravo
Project Runway (also on Bravo)
Behind the Scenes: Poison on VH1 (Shut Up! I love it.)

And when I asked my mom *her* guilty pleasure, she said "Housewives of Orange County." I almost fell over. Will mean nothing to you all in the UK, but my mom is very highbrow. And this is just trash TV.

Smut Girl said...

Janine, the hoodie can be found in the cafe press store of Lori Foster. I think the link is found on lorifoster.com I coveted it and my aunt bought it for me for my birthday ;)

And did someone just call Real Housewives of OC...trash tv?? Hmph.

Mathilde Madden said...

Oh god. Project Runway. And the UK version Project Catwalk, Angel (DBor - I<3U), Buffy, Prison Break, Queer as Folk, Bones, Heroes, Veronica Mars, Battlestar Galactica, Doctor Who...

I buy them on DVD and watch in greedy splurges. I am in love with at least one character in all of them.

kiki said...

okay - brendan fraser is absolutely one of my guilty pleasures. even the really bad movies delight me. i've liked him for a REALLY long time - i think the first movie i saw with him in it was School Ties. Encino Man is one that i love (how's THAT for guilty pleasures...?). in the mummy? YUM!

xena-warrior princess, yep. another one.

and....okay....this is going to show me for the fucking dork i really am....STICKERS. i can spend a fucking fortune on stickers and then FREAK OUT when someone actually has the audacity to actually USE some of them!!!!

and cards. i collect cards. i *do* actually use them. but i send them to special people -- the ones who will truly appreciate them. i don't send the handmade card to the acquaintances, i send them the generic cards.

god, how sad, none of my guilty pleasures have anything to do with sex!

oh ohohohoh!!!! and PIXIE STIX! i love the motherfucking pixie stix!!!

okay....i'll stop now - b/c well and truly - i am a dork.

Alison Tyler said...

Sorry, Sommer. I meant, um, damn. What did I mean? How could I put down Real Housewives of OC... So sorry. For that, I will confess another of mine.... I like all of the Road Rules vs. Real World competitions on MTV.

Oh, god. Did I just say that out loud?

kiki said...

apparently, another of my guilty pleasures is saying fuck/fucking/motherfucking....i don't do it so much out loud unless i'm talking to one of my best friends and there's no one else around -- unlike in college where i wore my "swears like a trucker" badge on my sleeve.

*beam*

Janine Ashbless said...

Hope you liked my sidebar pic of Mr Fraser then, Kiki! "The Mummy" was just full of lovely men ... my vote goes to Oded Fehr though.

Thank you Smutgirl! I'll be off shopping then.

TV: My really guilty one is "Raven" (Childrens' BBC: kids being forced to do LARP challenges in the pissing rain while being eaten alive by midges. Hosted by a very lovely young Scottish actor who keeps a straight face while hamming it up mightily in High Fantasy style.)

Madelynne Ellis said...

I like Raven too, Janine.

Other guilty pleasures, watching Japanese TV on YouTube. Notebooks, I have loads, just can't resist them. I do fill them with my illegible scrawl though. Erm, Gackt CD's. The packaging is just exquisite. And historical costumes that I hardly ever wear.

TeresaNoelleRoberts said...

My biggest guilty pleasures are blogsurfing and actually taking time to read and relax.

I mean, I have enough books to stock a small-town library (albeit one with an odd collection skewed toward erotica, romance, cookbooks, and Arabic studies), love chocolate and gourmet food, and have quite a lipstick collection, though not to rival our Alison's. (Not to mention the addiction to sex toys...but that counts are research, right?) But the only pleasures that provoke actual guilt involve Doing Nothing Useful.

Comes from being self-employed, I guess! I should be working, I should be working.

kiki said...

janine - i did indeed enjoy it :D but i don't know from which movie the picture came. which movie have i missed? it's not good to miss a naked fraser! and while oded fehr is indeed handsome, there is something about brendan fraser that just makes me totally and completely weak in the knees. when he was on scrubs for 3 or 4 episodes, i was just a smiling fool! here was my big celebrity crush on my favorite tv show (and scrubs is NOT a guilty pleasure! it is just a pleasure and people who do NOT watch it should feel guilty! so there!)

and i just found some Office Space t-shirts on 80stees.com. THANK YOU ALISON! I MUST GO BUY SOME MORE T-SHIRTS (especially since they are 20% off!!!! woohoo!!!).

Gwen Masters said...

Mmmm...good stuff!

I have a ton of guilty pleasures. Antiques are my big thing. Especially antique tin signs...the ones that herald Goody Powders, Butternut Bread, Ivory Soap, all the essentials that are now buried under an avalanche of merchandising...I can spend a ton of money on tin signs and feel only a little guilty, until I get them home and they go up on the wall... -happy sigh-

And pens. I collect pens, big time. Especially calligraphy, quill, glass pens -- glass pens with ink bottles are delightful.

Stationery is included in that, too. Good, thick linen paper, all tied up with pretty satin bows...envelopes that feel soft and silky in my hand, even those that have flavored glue on the flap...and perfumed before sending, of course.

And I collect typewriters. Everything from the tiny ones that go in a curio cabinet, to the old Royal typewriters with the clunky returns...and even typewriters in art, mostly framed paintings. Those are hard to find, so when I do come across one, I'm on cloud nine.

Funny how most of my guilty pleasures have to do with writing...imagine that!

Gwen Masters said...

This post has sparked some interesting conversation in our house. We have decided my man has much more intense guilty pleasures than I do.

CDs, vinyl albums, even cassettes -- we have thousands upon thousands of them. I'm a collector of books, especially first editions and signed copies, but his collection of music outnumbers my books by absurd amounts.

Vintage radios and broadcast microphones. Since he's in the radio and music industry, we don't feel guilty about this in the slightest. -grin- Crosley, Wurlitzer, Fairlane, you name it, we've got it. And we're always wanting more.

This post has me on a roll...

The big weakness of the man of the house...Tommy Hilfiger clothing. Hundreds of pieces. Let's put it this way: My man's walk-in closet is full, plus he's started on another one. The vast majority of it is Tommy. You get the idea.

My daughter collects jewelry boxes. Her room actually looks awesome with those boxes, in all different colors and styles, stacked in sets here and there. Everything from monster dresser-size boxes to little ring boxes, she's got it. She constantly wants more.

Okay, I'm going to quit now, before I feel the need to go out to the antique store again...

Anonymous said...

You girls aren't talking about food.
What foods do you like to hoard?
How about coconut popsicles?
Chocolate truffles? etc etc

Kate Pearce said...

guilty pleasures...

lipsticks-I have a gazillion of them too.
Issy Miyake clothes-expensive but oh my god.
Jelly Bellys-I eat some every day before I start writing.
chocolate-I hide it all around the house to keep it away from my family
David Beckham
reading Hello and People magazines when I'm out
'the girls next door" T.V. show

I'm not really into shoes but I do have a pair of limited edition Doc Marten boots which are pink with blue fishes on, Alison-does that save me?

Alison Tyler said...

Yes, of course, Kate. One pair of Doc Martens equals about ten pair of normal shoes.

And, anonymous, we *have* been talking food:

Squid in a Tin
Pixie Stix

But what else?
I like:

Chessmen cookies dipped in white wine
And really any tart artificial candies, especially Sweet Tarts!

Smut Girl said...

*Oded Fehr*

Oh. My. God. Mmmm. Oded...

Buffy, CSI, Ghost Hunters (all on DVD). Pens, notebooks, my skull Vans...folders! Lime Starbursts, Chunky bars...

My god. I had no idea I had such a problem...

kiki said...

SWEETARTS!!!
oh yes!
and lik-a-sticks - i can still taste the chalky dipping stick. really, i don't know why i don't just get the powdered kool-aid b/c really, that's what pixie stix and the flavor dust of lik-a-sticks are, yes?

and dark chocolate - nearly bitter. delightful. and my dark dark espresso with honey and milk and whipped cream! yum!

Nikki H said...

Ooh, ooh, I've just thought of another one since Maddy Ellis mentioned Youtube.

I constantly watch any "Whose Line Is It Anyway?" clips, because I just lurve the show. Have this crazy crush on Ryan Stiles, just cos he can make me laugh till I cry and stranger still, the balding Colin Mochrie.

What is it about a guy that can make you laugh?

Madeline said...

Blogger ate my big long post. Wah!
So - my guilty pleasure is the tabloids. Every weekend, I buy all three -= Star, Globe and the grandaddy of 'em all, The National Enquierer. Used to be I'd be suckered in by the covers and then laugh all the way through the mag, but no more. I know how to decipher the covers - 'Demi in Cocaine Scandal' (yeah sure, twenty years ago...) Baby for JLO (she's not pregnant, but she'd like to be) etc. And the writing - Monica Lewinsky described as 'the portly presidential paramour' used to make me laugh out loud. But no more. I'm just a simple addict now.

I read 'em cover to cover, to get my money's worth, so I know all kinds of stuff about Oprah, Regis, Kelly Ripa and Tyra Banks, without ever actually having watched a single episode of any of their shows.

It all started during the OJ Simpson trial, when I discovered that the tabloids don't make up all their stories, a lot of the stories are true, but the stars can just dismiss the stories as lies...a symbiotic relationship that intrigues me. For example, Eddie Murphy really does have a thing for trannies with big feet...stuff like that.

Someday I hope to wean myself down to one or none a week, but for now, rain or shine, week in week out, all three 'bloids end up scattered across my bedspread, waiting for me to indulge myself in pages, hours, of scandal.

I read each mag cover to cover

Olivia Knight said...

Oh - I forgot to mention - checking emails, checking blogs, checking myspace, checking facebook, checking website, checking website analytics, by which time I can probably go back and start again at the beginning. It can carry on for hours. This is the kind of guilty pleasure where you really hate yourself afterwards...

Smut Girl said...

*I constantly watch any "Whose Line Is It Anyway?" clips, because I just lurve the show. Have this crazy crush on Ryan Stiles, just cos he can make me laugh till I cry and stranger still, the balding Colin Mochrie.*

I watched reruns of Who's Line on the Family Channel last night! And I agree. Have a bit of a crush on both of those men myself...

Guilty Pleasure of the day seems to be this blog and peeking at everyone's guilty pleasures. And the book I just bought...and the body scrub...hmmm. I need an intervention.

Mathilde Madden said...

Oh god, Olivia... so guilty

Alana said...

Hi Alison, I'll disappoint you, I swear. I have four pairs of shoes, my favs being a pair of sandals a friend gave me (second-hand) but in great shape; and my pink tennis shoes with a skull head design. Payless, twelve bucks.

I own zero perfume, but I have a couple body sprays, Very Vanilla and Cotton Candy. Like five bucks, haha. I like the cotton candy one a lot. :-)

OK. What I do have. Tees: I Love Nerds: Say Anything; Sixteen Candles; The Breakfast Club; James Dean; Jimi Hendrix; and Wizard of OZ: "I'll get you my pretty, and your little dog too."

Smut Girl. Where did you get the cool "Watch Out Or You'll End Up In My Novel" tee? Love it!

Shanna, I'm all about thrift finds too. Never buy clothes for myself anywhere but, and seriously I've made a few incredible lucky finds. I also found a leather jacket in a dumpster last year. A lot of my furniture came from dumpsters.

What do I splurge on? Books by the assloads. This is a guilt-free expenditure for me. No remorse. :-)
Another splurge: I-Tunes. Ridicules. Way too much $$ to I-Tunes. And now that I can buy episodes of Supernatural at I-Tunes . . . Shit. I've already bought four. In two days.

Food pleasures: Oysters on the half shell and hot spicy green chili sauce, Mexican food. Merlot, merlot, merlot. Coffee. And Sweet Tarts. :-)

My favoritest pleasures: My Red Zinger. Also a complete and total sucker for pop culture; rock stars; and cute skinny twenty-something guys.

Alison! Did you know Bret Michaels (Poison) is doing a Bachelor type dating some on V-H1 this summer???

Yes, I'll watch it. :-)

Perhaps my favorite Other lovely splurges

Alana said...

Forgot one more. Blogs! Love to read blogs. :-)

Isabel said...

OK, guilty pleasures: Anything that's free at the moment. Kristina, I'm with you, a walk at the sea or up into these mountains or a swim takes my breath away and it means I am being TOTALLY selfish, not working, not being productive. I try very hard not to feel guilty but it seldom works. As for food, you will think this really weird but you'd have to be where I am: I miss american junk food most, oreos, Dunkin glazed donuts, so Shanna when you come over could you pick up some on the way...

ciao

Alana said...

Alison, forgot to thank you for the post, and for the link to 80s Tees. What a cool place! I want the tee that says "I Love Jake."

Peace.

Alison Tyler said...

Alana, I think I have that tee. Yup. I do.
I'm going to go crazy there tonight. I swear. There are too many shirts I want.

Isabel, American junkfood is a natural thing for a guilty pleasure. One of my friends—who won't post—says her guilty food pleasure is icing. Just. Icing.

And Shanna, I am a huge thriftstore junkie. But I don't feel guilty about shopping at thriftstores. That's just a plain old pleasure for me. It's the shoes and the shirts and the sugar that make me blush. Oh, well, and all the other stuff that also makes me blush...

Gwen Masters said...

Thrift stores are great places! Consignment shops. I love finding a brand new pair of jeans with the tags still on. That tag might read a hundred bucks, but you can bet I got them for less than ten!

-bouncing in happiness at the thought-

Yard sales are good, too. It's not just that I find good deals, it's that I'm one hell of a voyeur. I want to see what kind of furnishings and decorations people are into...and I come up with some great story ideas from those yard sale trips, too.

See? It all comes back to writing eventually, so it can't be all indulgence and no work...right? Right?

kiki said...

alison - i totally forgot about the icing thing...which then led me to the batter/dough thing...i love cookie dough, cake batter, brownie batter. just yum. i don't need the things cooked. just give me the batter. and actually, i don't like oatmeal cookies (unless they are right out of the oven and soft soft soft), but i DO like oatmeal cookie dough.

delish!

Shanna Germain said...

Oh, Isabel...Yes, I'll bring you over anything you'd like! Just name it, and it's in my suitcase! How about Krispy Kremes? I was just in the south, and I swear, that and moon pies was all they served us :)

I miss food from my East Coast childhood. Not even good food, but bagels, pizza and Friendly's ice cream. I eat my way through the state of NY every time I go back.

My food fetishes are...(thinking)...well, mostly drinks. Soy mochas and bubble teas are at the top of my list. Also, great coffee, dark beers and awesome wines...Mojitos. Good gin with tonic...is it Friday yet? :)

s.

Dayle A. Dermatis said...

Every time I think of something to add, I realize I don't feel at all guilty about it. I guess I just don't want to feel guilty about pleasure! :-)

Probably the only thing is websurfing--reading friends' journals, etc. It's more of a bad habit/obvious time-waster, though.

Some people would say my obsession with Styx fits the bill, given how much money I've spent to see them (10-15 shows/year), on t-shirts, what my husband just spent in a charity auction to obtain my keyboardist's leather wrist cuff for me(oh, but it smells so good!)...

I don't have the Female Shoe Gene, I fear, although I did realize at one point that I have more shoes for historic reenactment than I do for everyday wear. Not into lipsticks, only like one perfume (BPAL's "Whip"--leather and roses, mmmm), etc. I don't feel at all guilty for being a tea snob or a chocolate snob or a cheese snob, although sometimes I do feel a little bad about buying new books when I easily have more than 100 in the TBR bookcase....

Someone asked about the "Careful or you'll end up in my novel" t-shirt--you can get it via the What On Earth catalog (which is also online).

Dayle A. Dermatis said...

Oops, posted that and thought of something. BBQ Fritos. Not the honey BBQ curls, but the original BBQ Fritos that I can only find on the East Coast. Since I get them so rarely, I will sit down and eat 3/4 of the bag in one sitting, and then feel bad about it. ;-)

Anonymous said...

My guilty pleasure is reading lustbites.

danetteb said...

I love that Little Miss Naughty tee,I used to have all thse books when I was a little one(I wonder if mom still has those)
My guilty pleasures are books,I can't go to a bookstore and just window shop. I also have too many lip glosses and I only keep one in my purse at a time,my favorite are the tiny travel glosses.(My kids somehow endup with those,though*g*)

Alison Tyler said...

Oh, I'm just loving all of the confessions! Madeline, I used to read one called WEEKLY WORLD NEWS. It was the worst of the worst, the black and white one with aliens and Elvis and all that. I read it in high school. Too fun. And sometimes I'd buy STAR, too.

Then, on Bravo's Workout show, one of the women working out was a STAR journalist. And she turned out to be someone I knew when I was a kid. I couldn't believe it. I found her via her blog, and last week we talked on the phone after more than 25 years without a word. It was crazy -- she got to say that she writes for tabloids, and I got to say that I write porn. We had a blast!

Totally off topic, sorry. But that leads neatly to another one of my guilty pleasures: talking to friends on the phone!

Gwen Masters said...

I know we've been talking mostly about things other than sex...but...

The thing about talking on the phone reminds me of one of the sweetest, most guilty pleasures of all...settling into bed late at night with my naughty toys and a willing man on the other end of the phone line.

I haven't done it in a long while -- definitely not since the man of the house and I made things permanent and we now go to bed together every night -- but I do remember it fondly. It was always so sweet to hear that deep voice on the other end of the line, ready to please, anticipating the same, and knowing I had hours and hours to put voice to whatever my fantasies were.

-sigh-

Phone sex. Yeah. If a guilty pleasure is one that makes you blush like mad the next day when you think of it, then that's certainly one of mine!

kiki said...

oh my goodness!!
a fabulous shirt for alison!!!
http://lochers.com/collection16.html (hopefully that comes up with the lovely little blouse that says "Will Fuck For Shoes")!

i need to see what else they have there...

*beam*

kiki said...

wheee!!! they also have one that says "I love Porn"

too funny.

Janine Ashbless said...

Kiki, the Brendan still isn't from a film as far as I know. Check out

www.provocateuse.com

for some very underdressed photos of him as various Greek gods.

Jocelyn said...

One of my guilty pleasure is mindless reality shows.

For some reason I adore Girls Next Door on E! (The show about Hugh Hefner and his 3 girlfriends) There's just something fascinating about those 3 blonde chicks lol (I adore Bridget and I tend to shake my ass in front of the mirror like Kendra does)

Other notables: Flavor of Love, I Love New York, and the latest spin off Charm school. (I like people screaming at each other???) Also Celebrity Fit Club and the Surreal Life. As mentioned earlier the Real World vs. Road Rules challenges.

So bad for my body but I have a thing for all you can eat buffets lmao I always feel totally guilty afterwards, downing all those unhealthy calories :'(

That's all I can think of for now!

Jocelyn

Nikki Magennis said...

Oh man, I missed the guilty party....

Sorry Alison! Been working late and winding down with spirits. I think we drained the booze cabinet last night. So. Guilty pleasures...

Fuck, everything makes me guilty! Charity shops are my weakness and I buy the oddest things. Recently got a load of medals for disco dancing. An old globe. A charm bracelet with prayers on it. A stuffed leather hippo. And fifty books I don't need.

When I'm on my uppers I'll still buy books. I hide them, like nikki h.

I like shoes but I can't wear them, so I tend to buy ridiculous heels and then spend the evening walking the streets in bare feet with boyf muttering about hepatitis. I'm a shoe failure...

Nikki Magennis said...

'I like shoes but I can't wear them'

See - brain dead! Obviously I can wear shoes. I don't have elephant feet. I meant twiddly, pretty, shiny spiky high-heeled girly shoes. And I can wear them if I'm just going to lean against a wall all night, I just can't stand or walk in them.

Alison Tyler said...

Hmmm, Nikki, with the right shoes, you don't need to stand *or* walk...

Says Alison, who is just waking up...and feeling guilty about this being the first thing she's checking!

Alison Tyler said...

Oh, my fucking god, Kiki. This site is too much. I want *all* the shirts. The "I love porn" one is divine, but this is my favorite!

Nice Girls Don't Swallow is also a good one.

The model is so sweet looking. The whole thing is amazing...

Really, now I'm going back to work. Seriously.

Isabel said...

God, Gwen, don't even get me started about skype sex...no, I will not divulge...I'm too guilty, talk about make me blush...and Shanna: Friendly's! Shit I miss that, but gelato does a close second...and where's my Cowboy Junkies 'cause cheap is how I feel tee??? God, no, I haven't lost it???? Thanks Alison, you're pushing all the right buttons!

Portia Da Costa said...

I still don't feel guilty about anything...

I work on the principle that I could be run over by a bus at any moment [or equivalent] so I should enjoy what I can while I can and not feel guilt about it. :)

Jeremy Edwards said...

I work on the principle that I could be run over by a bus at any moment

Hmm . . . sounds like you'd better stay away from Alison's Sex Pistols tee.

I can't really think of any guilty pleasures. This does not mean that I don't have them, but probably just that I don't think of them that way. This could be a sign of self-acceptance, or merely a sign of self-indulgence!

Dayle A. Dermatis said...

Oh, okay, I just realized I do feel guilty about checking www.idontlikeyouinthatway.com a million times a day. (It's a snarky celebrity website. You want to see any starlet's hoohoo? All there!)

Amanda said...

oh i adore boots, but i can't wear heels. i want a pair of thigh high red suede flat boots to wear with mini skirts.
other guilty pleasures:
books. i adore them, i have way too many on my shelves that i haven't read yet;
silk scarves-in a variety of colours, in every season.
leather-i love the smell and i have way too many leather coats and jackets.
sunflower seeds and most anything salty-i like to eat without drinking and imagine i am on the desert and desperate for a drink.
champagne-i adore it.
whisky-single malt, lagavulin please. i love drinking it while soaking in the tub on a grey wintry day.
magazines-Oprah, Paste, Utne Reader, Ode Magazine are regular staples and it isn't unusual for me to buy even more than that.
Men. Oh how I love them, lust after them, crave them ;)
thanks for he great post!

Emerald said...

Sorry I'm late -- been traveling with limited Internet access. But somehow this doesn't feel like a post on which I should miss out on commenting. ;)

My guilty pleasures would include iTunes -- just about every time I hear a new song I like or an old song I'd forgotten about I feel the urge to rush home and download it; books -- it seems I can hardly walk into Barnes and Noble without finding something else that looks so fascinating I must buy it so it can sit on my shelves waiting in (a very long) line to be read; chocolate -- the Godiva store pretty much used to be its own category in my budget; and possibly my biggest one of all, lingerie. I've been collecting it for years. I spend ridiculous amounts of time shopping for it (often online) and ridiculous amounts of money buying it! I simply adore lingerie -- can't seem to get enough of it.

Also, as Olivia (I believe) said, I definitely perform the guilty pleasure of checking all kinds of shit online and just going around in a circle checking it again -- check email address one, email address two, email address three, check MySpace, check xPeeps, check Alison's blog ;)...then start all over again because something new might have come in while I was checking all the others...arrggh.

For the record, when I last checked, my "pairs of boots" count was in the high teens. I'm not at home right now to check my closet, but off the top of my head I have, in addition to three pairs of black, gray suede, silver metallic, hot pink, emerald green, blue, purple, red, black-and-white patent leather...that's all that are coming to mind at the moment. I am a lover of the boots with you, Alison. ;)

Alison Tyler said...

Oh, yay, Emerald!

I love all of your guilty pleasures, and I want to meet your boots. :)

I thought of a new one of my own, too. I like to send packages in the mail. Cram odds and ends into boxes and send them to friends. Clothes I've found at thriftstores, extra copies of smut, CDs, stickers (waves to Kiki). Just assorted nifty items. My next box must go to Smut Girl, and I'm thinking of buying Otter Pops (oh, my god, they're available online—) to send her.

Will have to look for Squid in a Tin for Mat, now, as well.

XXX,
Alison

kiki said...

crap! i just put this comment on the wrong post!!! so here it is again:

*crumbs!* one of the teeshirts i'd wanted is all sold out (the "more cowbell" shirt)! that's what happens when i wait until the last day to get the 20% off!

ah well - i'm still very happy with my nintendo uno cards *guilty pleasure indeed!* and an army of darkness tee! YEA!!!!

kiki said...

oh oh ottttttter pops! i LOVE these! in fact, i have some in my freezer right now. i have MORE than just some. i have MANY MANY otter pops. anyone want my strawberry short kooks? i'll share those. it would be hard to part with my louis blue raspberry.

and i LOVE mail! ooh! stickers? in the MAIL? oh my! i just don't know what i'd do!!!

*beam*

Danny the Blue said...

Guilty Pleasures, I've had a few, but then again too few to mention... but if pressed...

Alison's Trollop with a laptop blog
Gadgets - and especially camera kit right now
Butt Plugs... ideally worn in public
West Wing in Box Set

would be a good start...

Alison Tyler said...

Hi Danny,

I have to say that I'm extremely charmed to be in a list with *both* butt plugs and West Wing!

Thanks for the huge smile you just put on my face...
XXX,
Alison