Friday, September 7, 2007

Art in Motion: Chatting with Eliza Castle


Alison Tyler

Words are my friends. All I have to do is sit at a keyboard, and my fingers start tapping. Empty pages fill quickly, and (generally speaking) easily. But although I see images in my mind, the only way I can capture these visions is through words on a page.

Unless, I call Eliza.

You see, Eliza is my artist. Oh, sure, she’s her own person. Flesh, blood, bone. I don’t actually own her, or anything. But we’ve known each other since I was twelve, and she and I have a definite connection. I see a picture in my head, talk to Eliza on the phone, and presto… artwork begins to pour out of my fax machine or fill up my email box. Somehow, she knows exactly what I’m seeing.

But I got to thinking. Are pictures for Eliza what words are for me? I hear stories in my head, the words perfectly enunciated (unless I’m drunk, and then they’re slurred). Does Eliza see art in her mind? Or is her inner voice a paintbrush? Is her constant dialogue done in pictures rather than words?

I asked her, and this is what she said….

No, I see in motion. I have to feel the curve and I don’t know how to explain it, but let’s say that we’re talking about the curve of a woman’s back going to the small of her back. I see the motion. And I see the 3-D. And if I feel that, I actually feel the motion of what you’re saying in order to see the picture in your head.

Is that something you learned in art class, or is this just the way the world is for you?

In art class, you learn about the negative space. You learn to see what’s not in a picture. That’s as important as what actually is.

What about colors? Are there colors you are drawn to, or ones that you shy away from?

Red, purple, hot or warm colors are my favorites. I'm not drawn to baby blues. I don't like anti-freeze yellow.

Do you move around when you draw? Do you pace the way I do on those times when the words get stuck between my head and my hands?

I always have to feel the motion of the characters… Sometimes, I do move, like when you were telling me about your ideas for the "Lipstick on Her Collar" cover, I elongated my neck, imagined wearing a stiff white collar… I felt tall and sexy.

When I was doing the artwork for "Naked Erotica," with the curtain, I could feel the soft wave in it
.

Are bodies just bodies to you, or do you like to draw men over women or women over men (stop snickering Kristina!)?

I prefer drawing the female form to the male form. The female form has more curves. I think it’s more exciting—not sexually, but exciting because of the dips, pinches, peaks, valleys. The man’s body really doesn’t have that. It does, but it’s not as pronounced. You’ve got your six-pack, but that’s just like a quiet, rippling ocean. Where as a woman’s body has got crashing waves. It goes up. It’s cool. It’s always in motion. Doesn’t matter which direction you look at, she’s got curves in the small of her back, her waist…The very first paintings I ever sold were of nudes. And they were the Botticelli nudes.

How do ideas come to you?

You hear someone’s voice talking about what they want.... As soon as I hear the words, I see the image. I can see the ruffle going down the side of a dress… I keep thinking about the covers that you and I talk about, where suddenly I just saw the image in my head. Like picking up a crystal and turning it over and over and over and over.

Together, Eliza and I have collaborated on all of the 15 covers for the Pretty Things Press books. She has illustrated several of the books, themselves: Juicy Erotica and Sex & Candy. Here is a snippet from the soon-to-be-released S&C.

From “Kneading” by Shanna Germain

At home, I don’t let her touch me. There is only this: my fingers tangled in her thin apron strings, cascade of cotton and flour against the floor, Macy’s dark arms iced with sugars and spice.

My recipe is simple: Macy and me, hands and skin, kneading and heat. “The best recipes just taste complicated.” This is something I plan to teach her.

Macy stands, her apron at her feet, still in her white baker’s clothes. Her arms at her sides.

I pull my own apron over my head, wrap the wide fabric around Macy’s waist, around her hands. Still not touching. The cloth wraps her twice, three times. Macy’s eyes, nutmegs in their spicy stare, watch me. The only thing on her that moves, her breath and those eyes. I lean down to tie the cloth around her. Her stomach smells of honey. I want to lick it clean.

Instead, I grab the cloth wrapping. I pull it toward me and Macy comes too, bringing her sugar scent. She thinks I might kiss her, maybe she expects me to kiss her, but I don’t. I trail my fingers up her arms, the crunch of sugar beneath my skin. At first, she just stands, one foot cocked to the side like a horse, waiting. I keep my fingers there, against the skin of her arms, smoothing and pressing.

This evening, there is nothing but this: soft chocolate breasts inside my strong hands, roll and pinch of skin, my fingers lathered in Macy’s dew and sweat and sweet cream. There is only her reaching, dark fingers, hungry mouth.

Inside my mouth she is the first spoonful of tapioca pudding. She is finding a fudgesicle in the freezer on a hot summer day. She is the sweet cinnamon bloom of apple pie up on the tongue. She is the perfect cake, hot from the oven.


xxx


Eliza is often the first person I talk to in the morning and the last person I talk to at night. Even though we’re separated by several thousand miles, we share coffee and cocktails on a daily basis.

Everyone should have an artist. I highly recommend it.

XXX,
Alison

P.S. Eliza Castle is here today to answer questions. Comment for a chance to win a complete set of the 14 books currently published by Pretty Things Press.

78 comments:

Janine Ashbless said...

Love this:

You’ve got your six-pack, but that’s just like a quiet, rippling ocean. Where as a woman’s body has got crashing waves. It goes up. It’s cool. It’s always in motion.

You're a lucky woman to have an artist, Alison!

Alison Tyler said...

I am! In fact, I will let you all in on a secret. Eliza is the one who makes all the t-shirts. I act as if I am sewing my little heart out. But she's the one who goes crazy with Photoshop and helps me with the font, designs, and colors.

She's a bit shy, but I'm sure she'll pop in a bit later on...

XXX,
AT

Ally said...

Wow what a prize, 14 scrumptious books!

Very yummy excerpt Shanna.

I agree Alison, to have your own artist is cool.

I'm lucky enough to be able to do anything I want creatively for myself, I am my own artist, but to have another persons perspective adds flair to anything.

I would probably just end up freaking out, because what I see in my head and what they will see, would most likely be something totally different, (I’m a control freak). I once worked with four other artists on a mural for the 2010 games and we did nothing but squabble over our different ideas with the art director.

You are so lucky to be able to collaborate with efficiency and professionalism, and keep your friendship intact.

That’s an art in itself. Cheers!

ViX said...

Hi, I'm really looking forward to reading S&C when it's out :o)

Vick xx

H.L. Berry said...

I don't have my own personal artist, but I am lucky enough to have had several of my stories illustrated by some very talented artists at Ruthies Club. Of all of them, only one has ever disappointed, and most have me clapping my hands in delight.

I guess the closest I have to a personal artist is Virgosun, who took over the illustrations for my Nightgirl series after the fourth story. She's got Abby down to a 'T', and will often suggest alternative ideas, or add those little touches that really make a difference. She also did the large portrait of Abby as Nightgirl that you can find on my website. I know that my characters are safe in her hands, and that's a great feeling.

I'd love to be able to self-illustrate. I did a bit of photo-shopping for my website, but it took a lot of effort, and the results weren't fantastic. For now, I'll leave it to the pros!

Craig Sorensen said...

Great post on a great subject, Alison, and a wonderful excerpt by Shanna.

I can do my own artwork, and can render things pretty well, but I don't have that special "vision" that the true artist has. I can use it to feed my writing or musical processes, but it doesn't have that expressive quality like Eliza's work.

However, I'm fortunate to have my own personal artist who creates wonderfully expressive pieces, and she happens to share a bed with me at night.

The things we have collaborated on have not been published. But sharing our different perspectives on the creative process has definitely enriched my writing. A long discussion about the topic of negative space led me to an epiphany.

She's also helped me to become a much better artist, though I'll never be in her league. Hopefully I've inspired her as much as she's inspired me.

Here's to Artists and Authors. To quote the old Reese's Peanut Butter Cup commercials: Two great tastes that taste great together...

Oh, you know what I mean...

Eloise said...

See Janine, it's not just me that prefers women's bodies!

Unknown said...

Great post! Wow, Eliza you are a great artist. I for one can't draw a thing. lol. I did take a art class when I was going for a teaching degree and drew a couple of good things. We didn't ever get to work in paint though. I think I would love to be able to paint pictures. I used to watch a guy on tv paint, and he made it look so easy. Great excerpt!

Sommer Marsden said...

When people who cannot write ask how writers can sit and write story after story and I explain 'seeing and hearing' a story unfold in my head, and I am merely taking dictation, I am often met with silent, confused stares. That's how I feel about artists! To me it's nothing to see or hear characters in my mind but to see something in my mind and then make it look that way on paper. With color and form...and ya know, art! That boggles my mind. I don't understand how artists can do it. I envy those people.

I'm a pretty good copy cat, I can look at things and recreate them on paper. I cannot see an image in my head and get it out. Which is a shame, because I see some hot stuff in my head! :)

Very nice Miss A and Eliza. I am a big fan of the spanking covers in particular. I have no idea whay...

xoxo
Sommer
p.s. I need more coffee...I hope that made sense--hmmm...

Sommer Marsden said...

I so obviously meant: "why". I have no idea WHY. Right. Coffee

Anonymous said...

As someone who is neither a writer or artist I must say I am jealous of you both. In a good way of course. I get so much pleasure from reading a good book or looking at a picture that captivates me. I hope to look out for more work from both of you.

Can I ask one question though? What inspires you to write what you do or draw/paint what you see?

t'Sade said...

It must be great having an artist. I've only dealt with two artists. One was Mamabliss for some of my stories. The other was the so-called artist that did the cover to my novel, The Mummy's Girl. The picture is a lovely picture of King Tut, all sandblasted and everything.

... except the story is based in a jungle, has something to a closer to a Aztec-influence mummy (yeah, he's the randy one in the novel), and the only statue in the entire novel is a dog the size of the bear. And they got $0.21/copy for that monstrosity.

So, having an artist you like and actually knows what you are writing is a wonderful, wonderful thing. I've wanted to try getting into art, but always get distracted by something I'm much better at. Or, as I tell myself occasionally: When I was neither, the world needed artists and writers. I became a writer and then the world only needed artists. What happens if I become an artist too?

So, wonderful artwork, lovely story segments and I can't wait to see how it turns out.

BTW, I love the candy cover! :)

Karl Friedrich Gauss said...

Well Alison, I can well imagine it's great to "have" your own artist. Now I'd like to hear from Eliza how it is to be "had" by Alison.

Madeline Moore said...

A collaboration between publisher and artist like this one is a beautiful thing to see (and share in a little, by reading today's post.) Really interesting, Alison and Eliza.

I saw Nancy Cartwright (the voice of Bart Simpson) speak and she said it's vitally important to stay connected to the friends you make as a youth. This is another example of the wisdom of her statement.

By the way, today's giveaway officially beats all (as in, 'if that don't beat all.') You spoil Lust Bites' commentors, Ms. Alison Tyler, honestly you do.

Eliza Castle said...

Hey,

It’s so good to read everyone’s comments, and especially all the nice compliments.

Melissa, what an interesting question: What inspires you to write what you do or draw/paint what you see?

I don’t know how it is for other people, but for me, I have to get it out. I don’t know what would happen to me if I didn’t draw. I think I’d have been confined a long time ago.

—EC

Alison Tyler said...

Sommer, I have no idea why those are your favorite covers. No idea at all.

*ducking out for a moment to grab more coffee!*

XXX,
AT

t'Sade said...

Eliza:

I think a lot of creative people are like that. I know that if I don't write something, I get very cranky and depressed. When I get dragged away for weeks at a time, I'm a downright bitch to be near.

Then, when I'm suddenly a joy to be around the next day, it usually means I got properly laid or I wrote a story. Usually the story. :)

Anonymous said...

Eliza is a dream to work with...she put together the cover for a book I edited, Velvet Heat, and that cover is smokin'!

sm

Anonymous said...

Having artistic abilities is such a blessing. Alison you are incredible writer, and how lucky for you to have an incredible artist and friend to catch what is in your minds eye. You two must have an awesome connection for her to draw what you see. M

Shanna Germain said...

Wow, this was really cool to read. I've never heard an artist talk about motion that way, so I enjoyed that insight into how you work!

I might have to change my usual philosophy of "Everyone needs a wife," to "Everyone needs an artist."

Thanks for including the excerpt -- I do love those baking girls! :)

Best, s.

Eliza Castle said...

Now I'd like to hear from Eliza how it is to be "had" by Alison.

Well, Karl, you know what they say. Once you've been had by Alison Tyler...

—EC

Deanna said...

A fascinating post:

I love to hear how other people work whether artist or writer.

I don't hear words, I see pictures also, but not one definitive composition - it is more like a movie running inside my head.

It can be frustrating at times, because I see it but on occasions I can't seem to find the words to describe what I'm seeing.

I can draw just a little but I'm nowhere near good enough to turn my visions into pictures. A stroyboard artists is what I need.

Deanna said...

I meant storyboard in case you wondered. Am always typing words back to front.

Jeremy Edwards said...

This is such a treat! I'm a big fan of PTP books (my hot, throbbing bookmark is currently in Naked Erotica, the cover of which always delays my opening the book), and it's wonderful to hear about the person behind the art. It's fascinating to learn about how the collaboration works from both Alison's and Eliza's perspectives—it's always neat to see that kind of synergy. Plus we get to cavort in the kitchen with Shanna and her exquisite gourmet prose!

Angell said...

I'm no artist, but I can definately appreciate the use of bold colours. Leave pastels for babies.

I can imagine the pictures in my head, and translate them into words, but if I had to draw them, well, let's just say stick figures aren't very sexy.

Lucky lady Alison. You guys go together like lamb & tuna fish...hehehe.

Sorry. :P

Anonymous said...

ooooooooooh! the coffee picture!!! yummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!!!!!! now THAT is the way to start a morning! i could barely get past that. had to come back to it over and over. yes, sometimes coffee IS like sex. anyone see the scene in ally mcbeal (yes, i *did* watch ally mcbeal - wanna make something of it? alison quoted loverboy yesterday...so there! *beam*)

i really enjoyed reading about how you see things and what moves you - the dips, the curves, the feel of things. and i do think your art is divine. but especially that coffee.

now i must go and make some of my own...hopefully it will do for me at least half of what your picture is doing for me.

*beam*

Sommer Marsden said...

[Sommer, I have no idea why those are your favorite covers. No idea at all.]

AT~ Me either. It must be the vivid colors. Absolutey. That's my story and I'm stickin' to it.

And, jeez, Jeremy, warn a girl about your hot throbbing bookmark. I almost choked in my Gouda!

And Eliza! you nailed it. What you said. Writing keeps me out of the booby hatch. Well, so far.

So...one more question. All of your work I have seen is very modern. Is this your favorite and do you sort of stick with it, or do you also use other styles?

xo
Sommer
p.s. And I guess I have you to thank for my MINX tee and mug. Thanks! ;)

Shanna Germain said...

Wait, wait...is being in the booby hatch a bad thing? I'm confused!

(I have an image of those ball-bins at kids' places...)

:) s.

Alison Tyler said...

Shoot. I was going to say, T-Shirt of the Day! But then Jeremy came along with his hot, throbbing bookmark.

What's a girl to do?

XXX,
Alison

P.S. Yes, Kiki. I linked to Loverboy. I guess I lost some points there, hmmm? Who should I link to in order to redeem myself?

Jeremy Edwards said...

I thought the Booby Hatch was a topless dancing establishment.

Anonymous said...

Eliza:
Alison should use a picture of you
on her next cover. Now she'll just
have to find some stories to go with
the cover. Is it M for Mysterious?
There's a bit of Klimt in there too.
Sylvie

Alison Tyler said...

Stop it, Jeremy.
You're going to kill me.
I just inhaled my coffee.

Sommer Marsden said...

Why is everyone picking on my "Booby Hatch"? I think it's lovely.. ;)

Stacy S said...

That's just so cool to be able to get the images like you do.
Great excerpt btw.

Alison Tyler said...

Sylvie, yes, she'd definitely make an awesome M is for Mysterious cover girl.

Actually, Eliza used to model, but she is too modest to ever tell anyone about that part of her life.

Soooo, while she's out for a bit, I can gossip behind her back....

Some friend I am, right?

XXX,
AT

Shanna Germain said...

"Click-click-click"

--pretends to walk prettily up the stairs and step outside so she can see what Alison might say about her while she's gone...--

Eliza Castle said...

Sommer asked, "All of your work I have seen is very modern. Is this your favorite and do you sort of stick with it, or do you also use other styles?

Really, for me oil painting is the bomb. The smell of it takes me to the time of Rubens and Goya.

But because we live in modern times, I've gotten to work with a range of artistic devices (from paintbrush to computer) and styles (from modern to classical). I'm lucky, really, to have so many choices.

—EC

P.S. And stop talking trash about me, Alison! I know all of your secrets.

Karl Friedrich Gauss said...

Eliza, love your picture. Is that really you in the picture? Is a paintng or a photo or is it a "photo illustration".

What are your preferred media? Do you use natural media like watercolours or oils or acrylic or do you do your illustrations on the computer using a graphics tablet in something like Painter?

I wonder about this claim that you design Alison's T-shirts, since they seem pretty much like straight text in one font -- courier.

Do you have an online gallery of your work? What painters or artists were important influences on your work? What styles do you like to work in. Is there any living artist you wish you could draw or paint like?

Ally said...

Craig,
I'm fortunate to have my own personal artist who creates wonderfully expressive pieces, and she happens to share a bed with me at night. The things we have collaborated on have not been published..
That sounds interesting, perhaps you should publish. Hmm?

Sommer,
I cannot see an image in my head and get it out. Which is a shame, because I see some hot stuff in my head! :)
Oh but your hot stuff ends up on a page with letters. I am so lucky that when I read, I see it all so vividly, like voyeur. Is that bad?

Jeremy,
"Your hot throbbing bookmark?"
Where can I get one? Where do you shop? How much does one of these cost?

Great questions Karl... I can't wait to hear the answers Eliza.

By the way, bad Ally, smacks self a few times. Yes I know you liked that Sommer...
I did forget to say just how wonderful all of your illustrations and art is Eliza. I've always admired the covers and it's nice to have someone to associate it all with now.

Jeremy Edwards said...

Shanna said:
pretends to walk prettily up the stairs and step outside so she can see what Alison might say about her while she's gone...

Psst—Hey, Alison . . . while Shanna's out of the building . . . I heard some juicy gossip that there's an upcoming, Shanna-related PTP release. (Not that I'm one of the people with a vested interest in shamelessly plugging it—oh dear me, no.)

Angel said...

I've always loved the PTP covers. I love them even more now that I've had a glimpse at the mind of the artist behind them!

Thanks for a great interview.

Portia Da Costa said...

I love your work, Eliza! I would love to have my own personal cover artist... that's so cool!

Sommer Marsden said...

dAh...Ally, you crack me the fuck up. Can I say fuck? Is that okay?

Thank you for lovely comment. And I would like to second that, yes, Jeremy where *does* one find a hot, throbbing bookmark and how much does one cost??I have a few dollars in my wallet.

And btw, I meant to say, Just Craig does have a very talented artist in his keep...I mean in his bed. She is a very talented lady. Lucky, lucky man.

Oh! (see I am running on) Karl, sad to say some of us (*cough* such as self) would need an artist to do that. I have tried. I need an artist. I want one tee shirt made. ((sound of crickets)). It's been two years. :) I would try to briefly borrow Eliza but I know what that means. The whip...
xoxo
S
p.s. Is Shanna still gone? Is it safe to talk about her? B/C I forgot to tell her how much I liked her excerpt...

Vincent Copsey said...

Wish I had an artist. Actually, I'd really like someone to collaborate on a yaoi manga...

Thanks for dropping by Eliza. I love your description of a six-pack.

Alison Tyler said...

Can I say fuck? Is that okay?

Fuck no, Sommer. What the fuck were you thinking?

Jeremy Edwards said...

Okay then, about those hot, throbbing bookmarks. Mine, I admit, was naught but a metaphorical extension of my own libido (yes, yes, I was an English major). But, among those of you who own vibrators, I'm sure that no one has ever used one as a bookmark. I mean, how could that even happen? Right?

Sommer Marsden said...

I assure you, Jeremy, no one around here owns a vibrator. *gasp*
(hold on, I'm laughing too hard to type...)

Eliza Castle said...

Oooh, I step out for a banana taffy and come back to a party in full swing!

I use a variety of media. My favorite is oil, as well as natural media. I do use acrylics, and watercolors. I also know how to make my own media—oils and watercolors and egg tempera. Unfortunately, I don’t have an online gallery at this time. What a good idea!

I do not use a graphics tablet. Ever. No judgment.

The artists who have influenced me the most are Andy Warhol, Peter Max, Rubens, Rembrandt, the infamous Vargas, and Michelangelo.

You know, I think it would be as cool to have my own writer as you all think it is to have an artist.

—EC

P.S. Yes, the picture is of me. It’s an actual photo.

Unknown said...

you'd be surprised what people use as bookmarks-my mother once received a book back in the library with a whole kipper marking the page :)

Lovely post. I come from a family of very good artists and can talk 'art' with the best of them, however I can only copy other people's ideas and had to learn to string a sentence together instead to get creative!

May said...

I think it'd be amazing to have the kind of connection AT and Eliza have.

I don't have any talent/skill when it comes to visual media, and I would love to have someone who's able to recreate what I see in my head.

Karl Friedrich Gauss said...

Eliza, so in the photo of you, what's that stuff around your head that looks like snow? Is that a straight photo or is that surrounding stuff photoshopped in?

What do you think of artists like Tom of Finland and Robert Mapplethorpe (Kristina, I'm surprised you haven't encountered these artists on any of the gay porn sites you frequent).

Alison Tyler said...

How funny, Kate. I can talk art, too, but can't draw to save my life! I was an art history major (yes, very practical choice, that was) at UCLA, and still remember bits and pieces.

What's lovely is that Eliza and I like lots of the same artists. Warhol is my favorite. And I have a Vargas book open near my desk at all times.

XXX,
AT

PS. It's not photoshopped in, Karl. I think it's feathers. It was part of what she was wearing. The photos are even cooler here.

Karl Friedrich Gauss said...

Sommer, as an afficionado (did I spell that right) of spanking art, you must be familiar with the work of Lynn Paula Russell? Yes? No?

Eliza Castle said...

In the photo, I am wearing a cock feather boa.

Tom of Finland/Mapplethorpe. Both are appealing.

I have never been comfortable giving critical comments on other artist's works. I've have found very few photos that send me. A long time ago, I
believe in a Life magazine, there was a photograph of a sinewy, naked, mocha-skinned male packed tightly in a 3-foot square box. It was
magnificent. I clipped the photo from the magazine. If I find it, I will post it. If not, my description will have to do.

—EC

Sommer Marsden said...

Am terrible with names. But...once I plugged the name into my handy dandy browswer, I recognized her work right away. I'm still trying to figure out who I can send a CP greeting card to. Ooh, they would be fun to send out with contest prizes ;)

And this is funny. I was browsing photobucket for spanking pics for the ol' blog when I found this message. Kismet. I'm tellin' ya...

*hee hee*

Anonymous said...

Such a great conversation! I'm jealous of people who can "see" something in their mind, and then write or draw it just as visualized. I admire anyone who can do that, especially speaking as someone who can't draw a straight line! I'm looking forward to reading S&C when it come to my bookstore.

Karl Friedrich Gauss said...

Aside from being a writer (of comments) my primary art is photography. Yet I'm hard pressed to name a truly great erotic photographer of women, although there are certainly a lot of photos I like.

Generally I guess I'm drawn to the "people are strange" idiom of the likes of Dianne Arbus and Nina Berman. IMHO there's a lot of great photographic art being made nowadays, but I'm not so clued in to the great erotic art photo world that I could name names.

I'm wondering what you think about the whole art/pornography divide. When is art pornographic and vice versa and what's the deeper meaning of pornographic art (I mean beyond whether it's morally good or bad).

New technologies have historically been applied first to sex and war, and the technology of creating a kind of "virtual world" through realistic visual representation certainly has a long and storied history of being used for erotic purposes. Eliza, I'd love to hear some of your thoughts on this whole culture of art in the service of sex and romance question.

Anonymous said...

among those of you who own vibrators, I'm sure that no one has ever used one as a bookmark.

er, um, vibrator? what's a vibrator? heavens. i might have to google it and see what it could possibly be! is it part of the booby hatch?

*beam*

little side note...my spammy word thing is fkhhu! sort of like fuck yoooouhoooou! heh heh

Anonymous said...

Amazing how art can sort of make something bland and boring colorful and light.

Not that the books are any of those things. (smiles) Or obviously, I wouldn't want them.

LAnne

tetewa said...

Enjoyed the interview and the covers are great!

Alison Tyler said...

Kiki said: er, um, vibrator? what's a vibrator? heavens. i might have to google it and see what it could possibly be!

So, true story... I didn't know what one was, and I'd found one in my mother's dresser drawer. She said it was a foot massager. Then, when I was in sixth grade, we stayed on vacation at The Wilde House, which was owned by a man who wrote dirty joke books for a living. And I read the joke books on the shelves all day and figured out what a vibrator was, and I had to go and explain this to my mother, thinking that I knew something that she did not.

*drinking martinis*
Alison

danetteb said...

The S&S cover was making my sweet tooth itch. :D

Ally said...

LMAO
Thats funny Alison. Don't you just love the stuff our parents told us.

I once found my mother playgirl magazine when I was about 7 and I came downstairs crying to my mom. The centerfold was of a man who still had his foreskin. I had never seen a penis with one before. So I came crying... "Mommy whats the matter with this poor man?" I was terribly sensative. I felt sad for him, he had a hurt penis...

Anonymous said...

alison - now THAT is funny!!! i have no stories quite like that. well, there was the cat who was playing with what was given to my roommate (or was it me - good god) - as i recall, it was sort of pointy - or nubby.

okay. i'm just going to stop now. clearly my drink has gone straight to my head.

and i wouldn't be surprised if kristina came out of nowhere and laughed at me.

heh heh

*beam*

Sommer Marsden said...

My mother had the Joy of Sex book on her shelf. There were finger prints (smaller than hers) all over the penis page. I have *no* idea where they came from. I do not even know what a penis is...

wine. red. yes. no surprise.
xo
s

Anonymous said...

hahahhahaha! my mother had that too. and at some point, i bought it. now i can't get rid of it (not allowed to give such things away on freecycle...). there is a community close to where i live of tiny boxes that's called casoleil - which is pronounced (in my tiny brain at least) the same way cassoulet - which is not only a french soup (soup?), but in the joy of sex, it's a position or a chapter of something...so that's what i think of whenever i see that sign for the new homes.

tonight's post is courtesy of the letter G for Gin Fizz.

*beam*

Anonymous said...

and after seeing the cover again -- it is oh so clear that they truly needed Eliza's magic to make the cover better!! ::my eyes! my eyes!!!::

(and the also by....the number 3)

Alison Tyler said...

Tonight's post is courtesy of the letter G for Gin Fizz.

This morning's comment courtesy of C for Coffee! Oh, wait. I didn't say anything yet. Well, that's because the caffeine hasn't managed to enter my bloodstream yet...

But ta very much for all of the interesting comments and clever conversation... I'll post the winner of the 14 books sometime tomorrow, so there's still time to enter the drawing.

XXX,
Alison

Ally said...

Ahhh Tim Hortons coffee. I'll wake up later when I'm off to spend my day with 3 screaming, 7 and 8yr old grandsons, a fussy baby grandaughter, all four of my kids, their spouses... and yes, the EX... Don't you just love large family birthday bashes?

Alison? Send vodka?
My sons will supply the weed...

Eliza Castle said...

Thank you to everyone who stopped by and to Lust Bites for hosting such a lovely cocktail party! It’s been a hoot!

As Alison would say, t-shirt of the day! (Although that hot, throbbing bookmark comment came pretty close.)

—EC

Jeremy Edwards said...

Wow! Thanks for the t-shirt
& quote o' month immortalization!!

: ) : ) : )

Kristina Lloyd said...

Jeremy - sorry! Your immortalisation is up for next month. I'd promised to immortalise Ally this month but have been a tad busy. Heck, so much immortalising, so little time.

Great post! Sorry I missed all the fun and cocktails. Eliza, can Ally have a tee too? Or am I being greedy?

Jeremy Edwards said...

Hey, it's always a pleasure to queue up behind Ally.

Alison Tyler said...

Hey, it's always a pleasure to queue up behind Ally.

"Queue Up" is one of those naughty British sex terms, like "twee," right?

Karl Friedrich Gauss said...

Actually in British, "queue" simply means to "line up", as in "to buy tickets" or "for the washroom" (which over there they call "the loo"). Sorry to disappoint you.

Sommer Marsden said...

Hmm. And here I thought queue was what came after ellemenohpee... ;)

Alison Tyler said...

Oh, Sommer, I love you. You gave me the perfect excuse to link here... To LMNO TEES!

XXX,
AT

Anonymous said...

Mmmm - Sex and Candy. So Pretty! I love the color of the swirls, Eliza.

I wish I'd stopped by earlier so I could have had a chance to win all those books. The covers really are quite nice.