Saturday, August 18, 2007

Coming Attractions

Mathilde Madden
Remember when I used to have half an idea what the coming weeks posts were about rather than just making cheap innuendo. Yeah, me neither.

So here's my vague grasp on what's happening next week. First on Monday Madeline Moore is going to explain how she puts things through an eroticiser ('cept she'll Z spell it 'cause she's from over there), on Wednesday Alison Tyler is talking about spanking and on Friday Kristina Lloyd is parading some wet men. She's (understandably) giving away sex toys too.

Now, I know what you're gonna say: Mat, that sounds like every damn week on Lust Bites.

Well yeah. But is that such a bad thing?

*

Breaking News: Mina Murray wins four Jeremy Edwards's. And here's a second call for Petricke who won second prize in Kristina Lloyd's Love on Dark Side/Man Tits comp. Email lustbitesladies {at} yahoo {dot} com to arrange your booty calls.

44 comments:

Alison Tyler said...

Wednesday: Spank Alison Tyler

Mat, I think that might give people the wrong idea. As if I'd bend over for a line of horny people who all might want to lift a paddle, or belt, or brush and... damn. What was I saying?

Actually, I'll be sharing the spanking spotlight with the delicious Rachel Kramer Bussel. Now, excuse me while I dive back into fantasyland again.

XXX,
Alison

Mathilde Madden said...

What can I say, AT? It's a very vulgar week all in.

kristina lloyd said...

And, um, can I just clarify? I'm giving away a prize from a proper nice sexy sex toy site. It's not, for example, a load of dead rabbits from my bottom drawer.

I'd give you more details but the ink, like much of next week, is still wet. I can't wait! Heck, I love wet men so much. I'm afraid my Friday post might be rather heavy on the photographs. I hope you'll all forgive me.

Mathilde Madden said...

a load of dead rabbits from my bottom drawer.

Have you been poaching again?

Craig said...

Dead Rabbits in the bottom of your drawer?

Didn't I read somewhere that Hasenpfeffer is an aphrodisiac?

Send 'em along!

Alison Tyler said...

Have you been poaching again?

That's British humor, right?

Alison Tyler said...

Oh, gosh, Craig and I just came at the same time. We get a prize for that, don't we?

Craig said...

I think so.

Is the prize dead rabbits?

Alison Tyler said...

Oh, for fuck's sake. I hope not.

Craig said...

Oh, for fuck's sake. I hope not.

Ha!

Looking forward to the spanking spotlight, Alison. That'll be my prize.

Kate Pearce said...

'poaching' Alison, as in stealing game (as in bunny rabbits)from the local lord's estate as opposed to 'poaching' an egg

(as the only person to have resided for considerable amounts of time on both sides of the Atlantic, I'll step in and act as translator here :) )

Smut Girl said...

I'm not sure of all the talk of dead rabbits, but it could be because I'm distracted by Mat's Lust Bite for the week.

I am a sucker for a naked vampire who's just returned from a demon dimension....

xoxo
Sommer
...who cannot wait for spanking. I'll be in line with my sleeping bag tomorrow morning.

Alison Tyler said...

Poaching Alison

I may be giddy from all the tequila, but does that not sound like a new Nexus title, perhaps written by our own buddy Ashley Lister?

XXX,
AT

Ally said...

Looks like another fun week. My little bunny foo foo, ain't going in no stew stew.

Janine Ashbless said...

Argh - the Orange server has been down for 24 hrs (they seem to do this at the weekends) and I was frothing with frustration.

Think I may have a slight blog addiction problem here.

Mathilde Madden said...

The guy in the pretty piccie is Shane Ward

He has pretty lungs too

Olivia Knight said...

You just tricked me into listening to Somewhere over the rainbow. My coolness ratings have plummeted and it's All Your Fault.

It's not, for example, a load of dead rabbits from my bottom drawer. Because we all, in an emergency, grab a handy courgette or cucumber from the fridge or a rabbit from the bottom of the garden...

Olivia Knight said...

Oh. You meant rampant rabbits, didn't you. Not mouldering pelts. Serves me right for commenting before my morning coffee.
(So it'll be the courgettes and cucumbers you're giving away, will it? Or for those who really want a pounding - a butternut.)

Mathilde Madden said...

Don't men use rabbits... or rabbit fur... or something...

Did I dream that?

I'm sorry O, is your coolness rating in minus numbers now?

kristina lloyd said...

Rampant rabbits?

No, no. I was talking about my taxidermy dildos.

Mathilde Madden said...

I'm snitching on you to the gamekeeper.

kristina lloyd said...

Excellent! I'll be Lady Chatterley. Anyone seen my sea-anemone?

Mathilde Madden said...

Has anyone *not*?

kristina lloyd said...

Ooooo!

Mathilde Madden said...

Sometimes I just have this over whelming compulsion to say terrible things and I cannot stop myself...

...so I became a smut monger.

kristina lloyd said...

I have that compulsion too!

And I like *hearing* terrible things. And I like looking at pictures of hot men in little pelt pants!

Good job they invented smutmonging as a career choice.

Mathilde Madden said...

Of course - that's why you have all those rabbits in your knicker drawer!

Deanna Ashford said...

Wow Shayne is buffing up nicely. I much prefer his version of somewher over the rainbow to Judy's,Olivia.

And the naked vampire! What can I say, I wouldn't mind a bite of that myself.

Jeremy Edwards said...

Excellent! I'll be Lady Chatterley.

She always wants to play that game. It's just one "crisis" after another.

Anyone seen my sea-anemone?

Which one was yours? I saw a bunch of them in the Lost & Found box when I was looking for crisps.

Alison Tyler said...

Good job they invented smutmonging as a career choice.

Yes, KL. I was so relieved on Career Day in high school. Rather than go to the lectures led by the Marine Biologist or Fourth Grade Teacher, I happily followed the Smut Monger into a dark room filled with cigarette smoke, kicked my feet up on a red velvet chaise lounge and learned about the wicked, wanton world that would become my future.

That's how you all got started too, isn't it?

XXX,
AT

P.S. Course she left out the part about the rabbits, the daft bitch.

Madeline Moore said...

Hey I think I'll give away a copy of Wild Card on Monday, too, so don't forget to come and comment.

Um - still on Sunday morning coffee here but - is a Lustie pregnant or something? All these dead rabbits have me wondering...

also, with friends like these, who needs anemones?

Mathilde Madden said...

Have you got any anemones, you madjesty? KL has lost hers.

I expect the rabbits ate it.

kristina lloyd said...

My school was similar to AT's but my sense of direction is very bad. So instead of being in the smoky Smutmonging Room, I kept, um, finding myself with the Marine Biologists. I think that's where I lost my sea-anemone.

Just Craig said...

Anemones and rabbits and vampires...

uh

and cucumbers and butternuts...

and...

smutmongering marine biologists

Oh my...

Alison Tyler said...

and butternuts...

Did someone mention buttered nuts?
Because I'm all out of my hot-buttered cock porn.

XXX,
AT

Mathilde Madden said...

I refuse to believe that Alison Tyler is *ever* out of hot buttered cock porn.

Alison Tyler said...

*blushing scarlet*

Oh, Mat, you say the sweetest things.

Karl Friedrich Gauss said...

And here I was thinking that the "rabbits' were a species of vibrator and that they were "dead" as in "dead batteries". I mean isn't that why KL referred to the dead rabbits in contradistinction to "a prize from a proper nice sex toy site." Of course rabbits are, as I'm sure we all know, mythologically associated with fertility, and of course, where would fertility be without sex.

As for Wednesday, it will be interesting to hear what Alison has to say on the topic, seeing as she's had a whole week's vacation with nothing much to do but house sit and think and plan about stuff like this. Now Alison, as if you might be lacking for ideas, here's a question for Wednesday: "If you were planning your next life, what would the the scene of your first spanking in that life be like?"

durrgrrl said...

I think we all get our first spanking the moment we enter the world. Without much say in the matter ;)
D

Alison Tyler said...

Hey Karl,

In my next life, I'm coming back as Mathilde Madden.

—AT

Mathilde Madden said...

Oh well in that case I can tell you exactly what the scene of your first spanking will be like.

He will be a skinny vanilla punk rocker with an arse like a dear little peach and you will have to bribe him to take his pants down with the promise of a blow job.

Karl Friedrich Gauss said...

On the subject of MM, does anyone here remember the Castle Handyman website (circa 1986). It was mostly about spanking, but served with a side-order of Lycanthropy (werewolf culture). There were a number of great stories posted there under the pen name "Ginger".

Durrgrrl: (hey, finally spelled your screen name right eh) You don't think enlightened childbirth methods will be making much headway?

Eliza Castle said...

Sounds like an awesome week, Lusties!

—EC

Triste said...

oooooooooo....Sounds like it's going to be a fun week...I can't wait. But while I am, I'll just enjoy the Lust bite of the week. *floats off the fantasyland with David*