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Mathilde Madden
Remember when I used to have half an idea what the coming weeks posts were about rather than just making cheap innuendo. Yeah, me neither.
So here's my vague grasp on what's happening next week. First on Monday Madeline Moore is going to explain how she puts things through an eroticiser ('cept she'll Z spell it 'cause she's from over there), on Wednesday Alison Tyler is talking about spanking and on Friday Kristina Lloyd is parading some wet men. She's (understandably) giving away sex toys too.
Now, I know what you're gonna say: Mat, that sounds like every damn week on Lust Bites.
Well yeah. But is that such a bad thing?
*
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44 comments:
Wednesday: Spank Alison Tyler
Mat, I think that might give people the wrong idea. As if I'd bend over for a line of horny people who all might want to lift a paddle, or belt, or brush and... damn. What was I saying?
Actually, I'll be sharing the spanking spotlight with the delicious Rachel Kramer Bussel. Now, excuse me while I dive back into fantasyland again.
XXX,
Alison
What can I say, AT? It's a very vulgar week all in.
And, um, can I just clarify? I'm giving away a prize from a proper nice sexy sex toy site. It's not, for example, a load of dead rabbits from my bottom drawer.
I'd give you more details but the ink, like much of next week, is still wet. I can't wait! Heck, I love wet men so much. I'm afraid my Friday post might be rather heavy on the photographs. I hope you'll all forgive me.
a load of dead rabbits from my bottom drawer.
Have you been poaching again?
Dead Rabbits in the bottom of your drawer?
Didn't I read somewhere that Hasenpfeffer is an aphrodisiac?
Send 'em along!
Have you been poaching again?
That's British humor, right?
Oh, gosh, Craig and I just came at the same time. We get a prize for that, don't we?
I think so.
Is the prize dead rabbits?
Oh, for fuck's sake. I hope not.
Oh, for fuck's sake. I hope not.
Ha!
Looking forward to the spanking spotlight, Alison. That'll be my prize.
'poaching' Alison, as in stealing game (as in bunny rabbits)from the local lord's estate as opposed to 'poaching' an egg
(as the only person to have resided for considerable amounts of time on both sides of the Atlantic, I'll step in and act as translator here :) )
I'm not sure of all the talk of dead rabbits, but it could be because I'm distracted by Mat's Lust Bite for the week.
I am a sucker for a naked vampire who's just returned from a demon dimension....
xoxo
Sommer
...who cannot wait for spanking. I'll be in line with my sleeping bag tomorrow morning.
Poaching Alison
I may be giddy from all the tequila, but does that not sound like a new Nexus title, perhaps written by our own buddy Ashley Lister?
XXX,
AT
Looks like another fun week. My little bunny foo foo, ain't going in no stew stew.
Argh - the Orange server has been down for 24 hrs (they seem to do this at the weekends) and I was frothing with frustration.
Think I may have a slight blog addiction problem here.
The guy in the pretty piccie is Shane Ward
He has pretty lungs too
You just tricked me into listening to Somewhere over the rainbow. My coolness ratings have plummeted and it's All Your Fault.
It's not, for example, a load of dead rabbits from my bottom drawer. Because we all, in an emergency, grab a handy courgette or cucumber from the fridge or a rabbit from the bottom of the garden...
Oh. You meant rampant rabbits, didn't you. Not mouldering pelts. Serves me right for commenting before my morning coffee.
(So it'll be the courgettes and cucumbers you're giving away, will it? Or for those who really want a pounding - a butternut.)
Don't men use rabbits... or rabbit fur... or something...
Did I dream that?
I'm sorry O, is your coolness rating in minus numbers now?
Rampant rabbits?
No, no. I was talking about my taxidermy dildos.
I'm snitching on you to the gamekeeper.
Excellent! I'll be Lady Chatterley. Anyone seen my sea-anemone?
Has anyone *not*?
Ooooo!
Sometimes I just have this over whelming compulsion to say terrible things and I cannot stop myself...
...so I became a smut monger.
I have that compulsion too!
And I like *hearing* terrible things. And I like looking at pictures of hot men in little pelt pants!
Good job they invented smutmonging as a career choice.
Of course - that's why you have all those rabbits in your knicker drawer!
Wow Shayne is buffing up nicely. I much prefer his version of somewher over the rainbow to Judy's,Olivia.
And the naked vampire! What can I say, I wouldn't mind a bite of that myself.
Excellent! I'll be Lady Chatterley.
She always wants to play that game. It's just one "crisis" after another.
Anyone seen my sea-anemone?
Which one was yours? I saw a bunch of them in the Lost & Found box when I was looking for crisps.
Good job they invented smutmonging as a career choice.
Yes, KL. I was so relieved on Career Day in high school. Rather than go to the lectures led by the Marine Biologist or Fourth Grade Teacher, I happily followed the Smut Monger into a dark room filled with cigarette smoke, kicked my feet up on a red velvet chaise lounge and learned about the wicked, wanton world that would become my future.
That's how you all got started too, isn't it?
XXX,
AT
P.S. Course she left out the part about the rabbits, the daft bitch.
Hey I think I'll give away a copy of Wild Card on Monday, too, so don't forget to come and comment.
Um - still on Sunday morning coffee here but - is a Lustie pregnant or something? All these dead rabbits have me wondering...
also, with friends like these, who needs anemones?
Have you got any anemones, you madjesty? KL has lost hers.
I expect the rabbits ate it.
My school was similar to AT's but my sense of direction is very bad. So instead of being in the smoky Smutmonging Room, I kept, um, finding myself with the Marine Biologists. I think that's where I lost my sea-anemone.
Anemones and rabbits and vampires...
uh
and cucumbers and butternuts...
and...
smutmongering marine biologists
Oh my...
and butternuts...
Did someone mention buttered nuts?
Because I'm all out of my hot-buttered cock porn.
XXX,
AT
I refuse to believe that Alison Tyler is *ever* out of hot buttered cock porn.
*blushing scarlet*
Oh, Mat, you say the sweetest things.
And here I was thinking that the "rabbits' were a species of vibrator and that they were "dead" as in "dead batteries". I mean isn't that why KL referred to the dead rabbits in contradistinction to "a prize from a proper nice sex toy site." Of course rabbits are, as I'm sure we all know, mythologically associated with fertility, and of course, where would fertility be without sex.
As for Wednesday, it will be interesting to hear what Alison has to say on the topic, seeing as she's had a whole week's vacation with nothing much to do but house sit and think and plan about stuff like this. Now Alison, as if you might be lacking for ideas, here's a question for Wednesday: "If you were planning your next life, what would the the scene of your first spanking in that life be like?"
I think we all get our first spanking the moment we enter the world. Without much say in the matter ;)
D
Hey Karl,
In my next life, I'm coming back as Mathilde Madden.
—AT
Oh well in that case I can tell you exactly what the scene of your first spanking will be like.
He will be a skinny vanilla punk rocker with an arse like a dear little peach and you will have to bribe him to take his pants down with the promise of a blow job.
On the subject of MM, does anyone here remember the Castle Handyman website (circa 1986). It was mostly about spanking, but served with a side-order of Lycanthropy (werewolf culture). There were a number of great stories posted there under the pen name "Ginger".
Durrgrrl: (hey, finally spelled your screen name right eh) You don't think enlightened childbirth methods will be making much headway?
Sounds like an awesome week, Lusties!
—EC
oooooooooo....Sounds like it's going to be a fun week...I can't wait. But while I am, I'll just enjoy the Lust bite of the week. *floats off the fantasyland with David*
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