Thursday, August 2, 2007

Prick up your ears!

by Kristina Lloyd

Olivia Knight recently examined the one-handed read and now look – hands-free smut! It’s a stroke of genius, no?

Our publisher, Virgin Books, has teamed up with Audible to bring you digital downloads of dirtiness. Apparently, it’s The Next Big Thing. Remember CD audiobooks? Pah, they are so last century. These days, everyone and his uncle has got an MP3 player and with a few clicks of your mouse, you could have porn pouring into your ears.

A recent survey* found most people associated audiobooks with the blind, the elderly and the infirm. Wrong! They are the height of modernity and can be enjoyed by the sighted, the sprightly and the firm. Especially ours. Listen on your computer or iPod, at home or in the car, alone or in company. Why not blindfold the one you love (or a random chap off the street) and engage in a spot of hot aural? Remember, you have nothing to dog ear except yourselves.

Next year, the publishing industry will be giving audiobooks a massive push. Borders, working with Audible, has plans to introduce an easy-peasy way to download books in-store, starting off at UK airports in July and hitting the high street in 2009.

So beat the crowds and get yours now. Virgin and Audible have launched with eight Black Lace titles, over half of them penned by Lusties. You can download them in a jiffy from or

For a sneak preview, check out these links. Each excerpt is around 4 or 5 minutes long. Are you sitting comfortably? Well, let’s fix that ...


Asking for Trouble by Kristina Lloyd: Beth and Luke get it on in a backroom of a Brighton bar. (That’s the excerpt, not the entire plot.) A dark and dirty book.

Cruel Enchantment by Janine Ashbless: A man comes on a horse. Oh, you know what I mean - he arrives on horseback. Heck, I know Janine likes to push it but even so. Mysterious and deliciously atmospheric.

A Gentleman’s Wager by Madelynne Ellis: More horses! Lusty Bella and her groom going down in the long grass. Lush, horny and funny.

Darker Than Love by Kristina Lloyd: Clarissa and her maidservant arrive in London where Clarissa will meet Alec Marldon, the depraved, sexy bastard she's meant to marry.

The Ten Visions by Olivia Knight: Intriguing and softly spooky opening to a beautifully written tale of ghostly love and trippy, visionary sex in Oxford.


*Survey commissioned by Audiobook Publishing Association


Madelynne Ellis said...

I'm all for dangerously naked men, but isn't he in danger of unmaning himself using a stoat as underwear!

Thanks for the plug, Kristina.

Janine Ashbless said...

I did wonder why they picked a PG-rated moment for their audio excerpt of Cruel Enchantment, but I admit I like her voice.

It's really freaky hearing your words read out loud though. Makes me squirm - and not in a good way!

Janine Ashbless said...

Uh... Why are downloads so expensive compared to buying the actual book? They don't have printing, shipping or bookshop costs to absorb - so they must be paying my Voiceover Lady a squillion quid to cover her 8-hr marathon read-out-loudathon. Poor lady. Hope she was given Strepsils.

Portia Da Costa said...

There's one of mine too, ENTERTAINING MR STONE!!!

I'm afraid I can't bring myself to listen to anything other than the tiny excerpt... I mean, I know the book isn't that bad, but I never read my own stuff, so I can't listen to it either.

Although I would if they'd got the Divine Vincenzo to voice Mr Stone... Under those circs, I would probably have it on a continuous loop... LOL

Anonymous said...

Great photo.

Stoat underwear is exactly what I picture when I think of audio books.

Erastes said...

I can't get into this... I do like audio books, but erotica is so subjective - you'd have to have Jeremy Irons or Alan Rickman reading them to have me squirming with lust...

And Yes, I agree with Janine. too damned expensive.

Deanna Ashford said...

Audio books yes if you are taking a long drive, or are in bed feeling a little under the weather. Imagine listening to one of these hotties while driving - it would be more dangerous than using a mobile phone.

Jogging, you'd have to stop of in a field somewhere, after grabbing the guy jogging nearby. My imagination has gone wild here! How about listening to one on a train, going to work. Of course they might well work on a long plane journey - you could then slope of to the loo with your gorgeous male companion and join the mile high club!!

Mandy M. Roth said...

Great news!

Its one of the questions I'm asked most when someone finds out I write... can I get them as audiobooks. Its amazing how many people enjoy them.

Janine Ashbless said...

Jogging, you'd have to stop off in a field somewhere, after grabbing the guy jogging nearby.

Oops, plot-bunny attack...

Jeremy Edwards said...

I checked out Olivia's bit the other day (all right, you know what I mean). Like O herself, I was very impressed with the reader's performance! I thought the contrast between the characterizations of the sympathetic protagonist and the peculiar landlord was astounding (without relying on ridiculously exaggerated "female" and "male" elements). I really believed I was listening to two different people play out the intriguing, comical scene.

Anne Tourney said...

Damn, I'm all ready to go to work and don't want to get all "sticky" (thanks, Olivia!) before I leave, but I know what I'll be listening to tonight . . . .

Had to laugh at Deanna's comment about grabbing a passing jogger. Jogging tends to make me horny, as it is (all those endorphins rushing around); I can only imagine how amped-up I'd get if I were listening to erotica while trotting along.

Madelynne Ellis said...

"Stoat underwear is exactly what I picture when I think of audio books."

Do werewolves eat stoats?

Oh, and just as an aside, my dad met Alan Rickman recently!

Anonymous said...

I must say, I have kind of glossed over most of the aspects of my hero where he eats small mammals.

Perhaps I can have a small stoat incident in the final book. And maybe stoat underwear too - just for you!

Jeremy Edwards said...

Why are downloads so expensive compared to buying the actual book?

Producing a professional audio product--music or even just spoken word--is unbelievably time-and-labor-intensive. I don't know how many hours it would actually take to get a final edit of an entire audio novel ready to ship, but it's definitely a lot more than what it takes to listen to the final recording in real time. And you not only have to pay the performer, you also have to pay the engineer (labor + substantial studio overhead), possibly also a director and/or producer . . .

Not that writing *isn't* unbelievably time-and-labor-intensive. If only writers got paid by the hour, too!

Madeline Moore said...

I confess I'm like Erast4s on the subject of audio books. Maybe it's because I love reading so much. I don't care much for e books, either. I want a book in my hand...even when it's erotica. Although I could and likely should conduct some research on the issue.
And of course, if my book were one of the audio books, I'd likely show more interest. And not submitting to e-publishers is probably just plain dumb. Congrats Lusties. I hope there's royalties involved. I mean, I know there should be, I just hope there are.

Alison Tyler said...

Wow, how exciting!

Congratulations to you all... I know that some people are really aural. Personally, I think it's a rather sexy fantasy—listening to something this dirty on a train somewhere, or while stuck in traffic... or on a plane to Brighton...


kiki said...

this sounds fabulous! as to listening to my smut, i'm good with it. my partner once surprised me by putting violet blue doing a podcast of a really fun and sexy story onto our iPod when i was out shoveling snow. it was a fabulous way to spend the time - and that added sexy element of listening to porn while out in the open with anyone in my neighborhood being able to see me squirm a bit as i shoveled.

and yep, i believe that jeremy hit it exactly as to why it can be so spendy to buy audiobooks.

i'm so excited to hear the excerpts!


jebus! not so beamy when it takes me twelve times to get the fucking word verification through!!!!

Alison Tyler said...

Jeremy said ...don't know how many hours it would actually take to get a final edit of an entire audio novel...

Actually, I did some voice work on the Herotica audio series, and you're right, Jeremy. You do a lot of takes. My favorite part, though, was when the cute engineer kept telling me where to start up. You know, "Can we pick it up at 'his huge throbbing cock.'" Or, "Let's start with 'My pussy was so wet...'"

Very difficult to keep a straight face. I wrote a story about that for one of the Virgin anthos, I think.


Kate Pearce said...

I have to say I've never dipped my toe or any other part of my anatomy in the audio book world. I think I'd get too distracted!
Although I love the idea of listening to something filthy while doing something totally ordinary like shopping or sitting on the BART.
Cool-I wonder if they'll ever do mine with American accents of course-it might sound weird in Brit.

kristina lloyd said...

Spendy! That's my new favourite adjective. Thanks, Kiki.

When I was researching audiobooks (trust me, the stoat underwear research was *much* more fun), I did find that publishers were aware of how off-puttingly spendy these things were. But it looks like there's a willingness to change, to introduce 3 for 2 deals etc. So fingers crossed, they may become less spendy.

Tilly, I googled 'a small stoat incident' and was asked 'Did you mean: a small boat incident?'

'Actually, no,' I replied. But I think you should have a small stoat incident in werebook 3 - because isn't there a small boat incident in werebook 1?

Alison, it would be rather marvellous if you got a plane over here. We could go out on the razz in Brighton - you in your blue wig, Tilly with her pink hair and me, the demure redhead. We could drink matching cocktails. It'd probably be a very spendy night though.

Hey, everyone! I have a new favourite word. Guess what it is!

Anonymous said...

God, you've got a good memory. There is an incident in a small boat - a punt, even - in book one.

I'm writing the prequel novella The Silver Chains this month. It'll be in the Possession anthology with Madelynne and Anne, which is out in Feb 08.

No stoats yet. Do they have stoats in Brazil?

Madelynne Ellis said...

"No stoats yet. Do they have stoats in Brazil?"

Weirdly, I was wondering that myself this afternoon. I just thought the stoat incident might fit with the prequel theme better than werebook 3.

kristina lloyd said...

A Brazilian stoat sounds like a pubic hair fashion.

Anonymous said...

Do you think it matters that I am 10,000 words in and they are not in Brazil yet?

kristina lloyd said...

No, it's fine. They can get a last minute flight on the interweb and be there in a couple of sentences. And they could have stoats in their hand luggage.

Alison Tyler said...

Hey, Shameless Plug alert!

Our recent guest, Scott McMorrow, is a finalist in a one-minute play competition called "The Ivey Awards." And (check this fancy segue) there is an audio version of his play up here!

So give it a listen, and if you like it, you could *cough, cough* vote for him *cough, cough*


Ally said...

Well that was my 1st experience with audio books. You popped my cherry. But like loosing your virginity it was much more disapointing than you expected it to be.

Not there was anything wrong with the excerpt, I do hope i gett a chance to read them all. I just don't think I could get through a whole audio book. My mind wandered far too much and the "hot" parts didn't even fizzle me. (No horniness. Dang.)

I guess I need to read it to get into it. I've been blessed with an over active, vivid, imagination and reading sweeps my entire mind away into the world I am reading. I see, hear, smell, taste, touch and sense everything I read. I can't count how many times my family members would physically throw something at me to drag me out of an engrosing book, (kids could be screaming blue murder and I wouldn't hear a thing.) Hearing the story outside of my own mind leaves too many outside intrusions to distract me, much like watching a movie with people conversing all around me... doesn't work.

Maybe I'm undiagnosed ADD who knows. But then I guess I wouldn't be able to get so tuned in to a book either. Dunno!

Oh and Scott got my vote ;o).