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Uma The Great
To celebrate International Women’s Day tomorrow we’ve gone all womanly (well, even more than usual) and today is our first Girl Crush Wednesday.
And I got to pick the first girl for us to get all Sapphic over!
I toyed with Winona, flirted with Maggie, and even gave the entire cast of the Mediaeval Baebes a bit of an eye. But in the end, it had to be Uma.
She was deliciously wicked in Pulp Fiction. She even looks good in a yellow jumpsuit. She manages to make everything she touches look sexy, without ever looking like she’s even trying.
The crooked nose and the big sulky mouth. The way she’s kind of gangly and curvy at the same time. The lovely bosom and the big knuckles (why yes, I have a kind of a thing for big knuckles, since you ask!). The way she wields a motherfucking huge big sword….Hmm, yup, if I got to pick a girl to share my pillow with, it would have to be Uma.
Of course there's more to Women's Day than perving over hot girls. But, this being Lustbites, we're kind of focussed on the sexy side of things.
So, support IWD! Name your girl crush! Nominate the chick you'd like to lick!
(Uh, was that taking it too far?)
; )
Wednesday, March 7, 2007
Girlcrush Wednesday
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31 comments:
Big knuckles!
Ha ha ha.
And what use are they going to be *smirk*
I've always quite liked Elizabeth Hurley and Trinny off of Trinny and Susannah. And Nigella Lawson. I don't know why. Some kind of big, posh, horsey, bossy...uh, thing. I don't know. Weird.
Yeah, posh girls are kind of kinky. All those dormitory adventures.
And re knuckles. I once went out with this guy partly because he had The Biggest Hands I've Ever Seen. Honestly, his knuckles made me blush just looking at them.
Actually, he was immensely posh too. Damn, I should have married him.
Oh oops, sorry, I've slipped off the girl-crush thing.
Look, it's Cameron Diaz naked!
- I have to say, it's so easy to find naked girl pictures that it almost takes all the fun out of it....
I have to admit, Uma is a weakness of mine also. And Lucy Liu - those freckles add just the right kind of vulnerability. Actually, that photo of her posted on the Lustbites blog with the gloves was great. Maybe she's hiding big knuckles under there too?
Mmmm, freckles....
The wierd and lovely wurzeltod has a whole 'freckles' sextion - here. (Not work safe).
My girly crushes on famous people tend to be of the naff, excruciatingly schoolgirl variety - fantasies of going out for coffee and making friends... Hmm. That's a more humiliating admission than saying "I want to lick out X" would be.
Helena Bonham Carter has been my icon since my closest friend and I, aged 14, spent dozens of afternoons rewatching Helena in "Lady Jane" (she was also 14). I worshipped her for years through dozens of Period Dramas (always a hilarious phrase), was delighted by "Portraits Chinoises" and almost disappointed when the rest of the world joined in my crush after "Fight Club". Fans competing for who's been a fan longest has never been an attractive display.
When it comes to non-famous women, I'm a little less naively and chastely adoring. In a country of religiously skinny women, I found myself falling head over heels for curves every time. Swelling, goddess-like curves: breasts you need two hands to hold; stomachs that curved outwards, soft but not sagging; generous hips. "How smooth a belly under her waist saw I; How large a leg and what a lusty thigh!" All the while desperately trying to confine my own curves within the accepted norm! I'm largely straight - but God, I miss breasts...
Mmmmmmmmmmm Uma...yummy...but Maggie is deeeeelicious! Where do you find these lovely photos?Another fab post Nikki. And as to licking, my tongue would not tire of Renee Russo... and no, not too far at all!
Love the pic of Uma. It's a lot better than the naff adverts of her we have on the telly at the mo. Quite like Julia Roberts...
Olivia - I think that's how a lot of my girl crushes go. Specially the real life ones. They're more 'I want to swap clothes with you' than 'I want to swap bodily fluids'. Well, mostly... : )
Kristie - It came out the big huge box of dirty pictures we keep under the bed here at Lustbites. For research purposes.
And Nikki - Uma's in adverts? Oh dear.
Ooh, that freckles site is wonderful... Lily Cole looks like a witch, but she can use her wand on me anytime. And so can Alicia Witt.
Helen Mirren, who is still mesmerisingly sexy at 62 - did anyone see her Oscars appearance? - and Felicity Huffman are my big celeb-intellectual crushes at the moment. That sparkle of wit in the eye is part of what defines sexy for me, regardless of age or gender.
To Mathilde and Nikki, I just wanted to say how much I enjoy your work and your blogs - I've been reading Black Lace for a long time, and you truly are at the vanguard, with visceral writing that stays with you after the book is read.
Oh kittenish, stop. You're making me blush... (whispers: keep it coming baby, keep it coming!)
Thank you!
Wow. Thanks. That is just what I needed to hear at this moment.
(Submitting The Silver Collar aka first werewolf book on Monday. Yes, THIS Monday, the Monday that you can practically see if you squint at the horizon)
/arrives at Tilly's with a tray of extra-strong coffees for her and a heap of massive raw steaks for the boys/
Good luck! And after all, who needs sleep? All that perfectly good time lying on one's back, wasted...
I watched Resident Evil again the other day. It's a trash movie I have a sneaky fondness for, entirely because it has two kick-ass female leads. Milla in a little red dress and Michelle in combats, doing the buddy-bonding thing: "I could kiss you, bitch!"
Ah. I love hard women. Is there some sort of short-circuit in my brain between sex and (a potential for) violence? I love chicks with guns (I hate guns), with kung-fu kicks, with swords. I go squishy for the riot-grrrl look. I love the little sleeveless shirts, the long legs, the smooth muscles, the big boots (Doc Martins, not fuck-me heels), the sweat, tattoos, piercings ...
Most of all I love the attitude (and I'm not just talking "Die zombie scum" here). It's about independence, competence, empowerment, a body that's an asset not a liability or just a lure for blokes. For me it's partly aspiration/envy, partly aesthetic, partly hero worship. I like heroes. Oh, and a big dollop of pure lesbo lust too. I'm just a soft little Gabrielle looking for my Xena.
So: Milla Jovovich (she started doing martial arts after being inspired by Karate Kid as a child - how cool is that? I mean, she isn't faking it, she really does put in the hard physical work). Michelle Rodriguez. Starbuck off BSG (I don't like her but I want her). Claudia Black in Farscape and Pitch Black is just OMG hot. Angelina Jolie (though Lara Croft would probably kick arse rather than ass.)
Now if you'll excuse me I have an urgent need to watch Tomb Raider 2...
PS: when we're talking "Maggie" do we mean Philbin? Thatcher? (brrrr)
Oooh oooh oooh! (Fanning herself frantically) Officer Erin Sun - aka Claudia Black from Farscape - I want to BE her when I grow up!
For the uninitiated, try this link: http://www.farscape.com/characters/characters.html#
We're proper little Farscape-trekkies round mine. We have the whole collection. Erin Sun giving birth while firing off rounds at the enemy is probably the coolest aspirational image either. Unless it's her striding out, newborn slung in one arm and a massive automatic rifle blasting from the other...
I know this is cliched, by I think Scarlett Johansson is quite hot for the younger set. The lips, you know...and the fact that she is totally uninhibited in her interviews. Seems to say whatever comes to mind.
But I would tend to choose older, you know, stricter women when it comes to fantasies. Women I could say, "Yes, Ma'am" to. (Ha, Tilly! Take that!)
I will admit to crushing on a few of my editors... but in movie life, I'd say Jacqueline Bisset. Isabella Rossellini. And (here's my slightly batty one) Stockard Channing, especially in Six Degrees of Separation...
XXX,
Alison
(On second thoughts, scratch the newborn. Just the massive automatic rifle will do.)
Crushes on editors? Surely not!
Thanks, Olivia, just take those steaks down to the cellar, but you'd better take this tranq gun with you too.
Also, never tell Alison Tyler which phrases make your insides go mushy. (Meep. Alison Tyler said 'Yes Ma'am.')
*under the lustbites bed, glasses on, doing some research*
Oh, yes, Editors (or editrixes, I should say). I had lunch with a very powerful editor in NY and confessed to owning a brand-new tattoo... she quickly ushered me into the ladies' room so that I could show it off (this bit of artwork is not in a very public place).
I had fantasies about what might have come next for years after that... with me bent over the sink... and...
Janine, have you seen Ultra Violet? Milla again, and HER HAIR CHANGES COLOUR ON ITS OWN!!
It's so cool.
I meant Maggie Gylenhaal, though I can't spell her surname.
Scarlet Johanssen, yesssss.
(And Kristina, dear, you can come out from under the bed now. Kristina?)
Current crushes, in no particular order:
Maggie Gyllenhaal (okay, well, she's number one, no matter where you put her!)
Jodi Foster (still)
Helen Mirren (maybe I do just want to be her when I grow up)
Elen Pompeo
Naomi Watts (but maybe that's because people say I look like her, and I want someone to crush on me! :)
The Lust Bites girls (oh, dammit, did I write that out loud?)
For those freckle lovers: how about Bryce Howard? (The Village).
Okay, now I'm off to switch gears and write something sexy about a woman who does it with her telephone repair man. Can I borrow that box under the bed? He needs to be a broad man, tanned, with big...er...good hands.
s.
Yeah, Milla Jovovich is good and Angelina Jolie in her Lara Croft persona. And I have to fess up to having a slight crush on Tyra Banks, too!
Uma. Uma...even her name is a coo, a sigh...i wuv u Uma.
Line from a cancelled Canuck tv show - 'Yeah, I'd do Angelina Jolie. You know, if I was in jail or something.'
I'm in love with Joni Mitchell, but all Canadians are, I think. Also k.d. lang...i saw her blow out the candles on her birthday cake once, on stage - just a ptoot, like blowing out a match, and all those candles were Extinguished. Her lungs are not of the human variety - and what's sexier than a girl with a great pair of lungs?
Girl crushes - Felix tells me in England it's called a 'pash' - 'I have a pash for Helen Mirren.'
Oh, and Uma, up on my bullitin board, says, 'I've come to the wise decision of feeling flattered to have the privilege of still being considered a dumb blonde.'
I wuv u, Uma the wise and wonderful.
I had a terrible crush on Sara Green when she was on Blue Peter-but that was quite a while ago.
now?
Definitely Angelina Jolie-and if she brought Brad with her? well, I wouldn't want to be rude
Don't like big scary women, don't want to be dominated. Prefer intellectuals so I can take off their glasses and whisper-why Ms Jones, you are beautiful...
'Pash' is incredibly old-fashioned (1950's I suspect) and I've only ever come across it in the context of girls' boarding school stories - Enid Blyton etc.
Did you know there is still a whole subculture of adults who collect and write Girls Boarding School stories? I don't mean healthy ones about naughty sex in the dorm and being spanked by the French Mistress, I mean genuine straight enthusiasts for stories about hockey matches and prefects. They have fan magazines and everything.
Freaky!
Oh, but I like 'pash'! I also like 'squeeze' as in 'Gabriel is my main squeeze'. And 'lush', as in 'Nikki, you've drunk three bottles of wine again you old lush'.
But then, I love the old fashioned words.
And I hate hockey. : )
Coming in late, because I was out of town...
Eliza Dushku (Faith on "Buffy," Tru on "Tru Calling")--yes, yes, YES!
Sandra Bullock (who was on top until Eliza displaced her).
Angelina, of course.
Alison, I don't think it's batty to be hot for Stockard Channing...okay, because I am, too. (Hot for her, that is, although if that makes me batty...)
And yes, yum, Claudia Black.
Shanna, you minx! ALL of us? And here I thought Teresa and I would get top billing because we actually came to see you! ;-P
Oh, oh! And Salma Hayek! And Lucy Lui!
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