Tuesday, December 12, 2006

For the boys...

I'm sure visitors will have noticed we're mostly XX chromosomatic in here. But that doesn't mean we don't want to hear from the other half of the species! We love to have males around the place, (bring us drinks, peel our grapes, pay us compliments, etc.)

Seriously, both sexes and all in between are very welcome.

This post is dedicated especially to the guys who planned to turn up in drag and put on squeaky voices. I know who you are, and you should have shaved first. ; )

15 comments:

Jenny said...

Ahh Nikki! I hope you managed to soothe the savage beasts. I think the waiting on us hand and foot thing is a wonderful idea.

However, I don't think that's what they were looking for.

Here's the gripe as presented to me from you-know-who.

He's an excellent writer and has a gift for eroticism. He's very open minded and in tune with women and their needs. And, no, he's not gay. He's very hetro.

He has worked very hard to sharpen his skills, and to make his stories appealing to both women. Then he starts looking at calls for subs and it irks him that most of the ones he sees as promising and lucrative are for women only.

There seems to be an attitude that men cannot write erotica; that they write stroke. That's just not true.

I realize that the scales tipped in their favor upon creation of mankind. I work in a male dominated field and know what it feels like to have a man think that just because you're a woman, you're not as good as a man with half your skils.

But I like to think that women are more forgiving and more tolorant and open minded. More willing to give a guy a chance.

So, I'm glad to see your post and I'm sure with a little more smoozing 'he'll' be fine.

Now, where's my tequila and lemons? Oh busboy....

Jenny said...

Edit: I meant to say both men and women instead of both women...

Portia Da Costa said...

I know a guy who sometimes likes to don a crimson lamé dress and a bit of lippy...

No, goshdarnit, wait, he only lives in my imagination at the moment, doesn't he?

You'll have to wait until next June to meet him... he's very pretty and he loves eyeliner... but nix on the squeaky voice.

His name is Valentino...

Nikki Magennis said...

Hey Jenny! Lovely to see you here.

I'd love to get our mutual friend in here (perhaps as a guest. We'd be *ever* so friendly). And discuss. Is it really a woman's world - Planet Erotica? We set up this blog precisely to stimulate this kind of chat.

Not sure he's speaking to me right now, but perhaps you could extend a very warm invite to him to come along and blow off steam?

Oh, and some of my favourite erotica writers are male...

; )

Nikki Magennis said...

..and I do look forward to meeting Valentino, Wendy!

Kate Pearce said...

Jenny, sorry to mention the opposition :) -but Ellora's Cave have several male authors or erotic romance and erotica!

Nikki Magennis said...

...and I did point out nexus, didn't I? Erotica aimed at men and with a lot of great male authors.

Hmm, perhaps we should link to them...

Alison Tyler said...

Is it true about men having a difficult time finding placement in erotic collections? Or is this only about Black Lace/Cheek. I think I use as many male writers as female. (And I don't mean "use" in that dirty way.) I'm always happy to include as many points of view as possible in the books I edit. And my all-time favorite five-alarm erotic short story ever was written by a man. It's called Selling Point and is in Best Bondage Erotica 1. I blush just thinking about it. (Yes, I can still blush!)

Mathilde Madden said...

This is a terrible admission but I don't really like reading stuff by men. Or make that by het men because I've just thought of a couple of notable exceptions.

I'm not just talking erotica either. My other big book passion is thrillers and I much prefer female authors there too. In fact, it is said that male readers in general won't read books written by women - I must just have that in reverse.

I know people are going to hit me now with great books by male authors that I can't just dismiss like this but, what can I say?, I just prefer men to be decorative.

Fiona Locke said...

What really bugs me is the common misconception that women like their erotica soft and sweet and 'romantic' - whatever that means. There's often far too much emphasis on mutual pleasure and consent for my tastes. I like my fantasies a little harder-edged and I don't need the reassurance of knowing that the CHARACTERS are consenting. To me that's a big flashing neon light that says 'Remember, girls, this is FANTASY!' I know that. That's why I'm reading it. Don't spoil it for me by reminding me of reality. LOL

Why are bodice-ripper romance authors allowed to push the envelope, but erotica authors aren't?

Not to bite the hand that feeds me. Black Lace has been very good to me and they've certainly let me push it more than the guidelines would seem to allow. And they are allowing edgier fiction than they used to.

And here's my on-topic point: In general, I prefer reading stuff by men (even if writing as women) because there seems to be an industry assumption that their audience can handle the rougher stuff better than women can. (And by 'rough' I don't mean crude; just edgy.) I think that's silly and I know plenty of women whose fantasies would make men blush. If the Black Lace Book of Women's Sexual Fantasies didn't clue people in that 'we girls' can handle the rough stuff, I don't know what will!

Sorry for the rant. Excellent topic, Nikki!

Portia Da Costa said...

I know I've rabbited on about this before, but for me, the best erotica ever was written by a man... the Domino Trilogy and Jennifer's Instruction by Cyrian Amberlake. He wrote female characters who are far more believable to me than those written by most women.

kristina lloyd said...

Fiona, a topic close to my heart. I went quite hard-edged in Asking for Trouble, my second BL novel, and had a central character explicitly state she got off on rape fantasy. She was involved in a relationship which centred on acting out various sleazy, realistic subdom fantasies (ie grubby, everyday scenarios rather than dreary old dungeons and chains). For me, the dynamics of their sexual relationship weren’t much different to those found in more conventional bodice-rippers. And the politics were a lot, lot healthier: here were two intelligent human beings operating as equals (economically, socially, emotionally etc) and agreeing to explore their desires, even the murkier parts we aren’t always comfortable with. Some people found the book quite difficult to take. (Many women, however, were genuinely moved by it, and were grateful to me for having addressed the issue. This was back in 1999, and was quite radical for BL at the time. It’s just been reissued, and I’m not sure yet what new readers think about it. We’ve moved on several years, and it’s less of a taboo.)

My first BL was a historical featuring a cruel, powerful male lead and a naïve young woman. Again, there was a good deal of subdom activity, and consent was actually muddier than it was in AFT. And in terms of equality, it being the 19C, the two characters were poles apart. However, nobody seemed to mind this. It seems if you do rough stuff by gaslight, it’s OK. Try and to explore and be upfront about it, however, and some people get upset.

I’m going to be doing a Lust Bites post after Xmas on femsubs and how we feel about it in a postfeminist age. It’s a difficult issue, I know, but I’m all for people trying to understand this stuff. Not that I claim to understand it. Desire’s a baffling thing. It’s so damn bossy and awkward. Never sits still; never listens. Do pop along if you can (Fri 29th). Moral support would be nice. Or even immoral.

Also, we have our first XY visitor! Check out the old Progress post of Dec 6th and give him a warm and wanton Lust Bites welcome! Don’t know if he’ll peel our grapes though.

Steve said...

I don't do grapes, but I will occasionally de-seed a pomegranite, because I'm a man and poms are much edgier fruits. Here, have a few of the ruby juiced goodies. Sorry about the juice still dripping from my fingertips...

I feel like Mathilde's stereotype! I only read erotica written by women, any with one exception, only peruse blogs authored by women. It's a simple as feeling that womens' thoughts about sex are more interesting and arousing. I know what men think about sex; I can only guess what women think. The approximations afforded by female erotica and sex blogs are great clues.

Nikki Magennis said...

Steve, how lovely to have a man about the place!

Do join in our crush topic. I think the girls may fall on a man bearing pomegranites...

Jenny said...

Oh sure, he's still speaking to you, Nikki. In fact, he feels bad because he highjacked your thread at the tank.

Kate, you're right. And Nikki did point him to Nexus.

Alison pointed to the two sore spots with these guys. Black Lace/Cheek.

One side of me wants to go Julia Sugarbaker on these two guys and point how much an advantage men have always held over women in every other area of life. And how they (men) must be frightened to see our advancement. For centuries, we had 'having babies' sewn up as women's only thing. And now, Literary Erotica! Where will the madness end?

But, I like these guys and I'm not a feminist and that rant sounds very feminist.

So instead I did a little research and I learned a few things.

1. There are very few publishers out there that won't accept subs from men.

2. That men aren't really discussing this issue. However,

3. many women are. I read several blogs and posts by women authors who make some stereotypical and negative remarks about men who 'attempt' to write erotica. I noticed, too, that the ones (females) who were the least tactful, were also the ones whose posts were riddled with typos, mispellings, grammatical errors.

So, Friday, I had a little chat with our friend on MSN and told him that the only way to change these attitudes was to put out or get out. I challenged him to start a blog which consists of only male contributors to discuss this issue. Each day one author dedicates his aritcle to a site that has made derogatory statements about male authors.They should make sure to send the 'offending' site an invitation to join the discussion.

And do ya'll know what he said? "Can you tart one up for me?"

lol.