Saturday, July 21, 2007

Coming Attractions

by Kristina Lloyd
Your regular host, Tilly, is recovering from having her hair dyed pink (I kid you not) so, as the Lustie with the second maddest hair colour, I’ve been brought on from the subs' bench to preview the week ahead. (Yes, thank you again: that's ‘sub’ as in ‘substitute’.)

Heroes that are hung like donkeys are all very well, but what about heroes who are donkeys? In this age where the paranormal is practically normal and shapeshifters are sexy, who says a hero has to be smooth all over? Janine Ashbless braves bestiality on Monday. Expect fur to fly.

Midweek is a mystery. One shy, retiring Lustie dons the invisibility cloak to reveal her sickest – I mean secretest – sexual fantasies. I'm reliably informed at least one of these fantasies will feature the word 'gang'. Or was it gag? Honestly, I’ve no idea who this mystery woman is. None at all. What's that? A bribe? Well, maybe I could ask.

The final Friday of each month is devoted to our Smut Slut – it’s like pay day but the currency is porn. Coming your way this month is Olivia ‘Egg White’ Knight with an excerpt from her stunning paranormal debut, The Ten Visions.

So that's pink hair, bestiality, fantasies so twisted no one will own up to them and hallucinogenic ghost-sex. Looks like another quiet week on the blog. Now then - who’s got the invisibility cloak? Speak up, I can’t see you.

ETA: They should never have trusted me with this job. I forgot to announce the winners of our recent giveaways. Tilly will be back soon, don't worry. It'll all be under control.

And so, the results are: A basket of Good Vibes lube to Jeremy Edwards! And a signed copy of Stephen Elliott's My Girlfriend Comes to the City and Beats Me Up to Smut Girl, Sommer Marsden. Winners, send your details to msalisontyler@ya ... Oh, for heaven's sake, shall I quit pretending? Alison publishes your erotica. You guys know each other professionally. I swear this isn't incest. Those were the names that my random number generator chose. Next time there's a draw, you should send a ten-men independent adjudicator team round to my place. Actually, when is the next draw?


Alison Tyler said...

Is that a cock in his pocket or is he just...

Sorry. Still a little dizzy from all the excitement this morning.


Jeremy Edwards said...

Cool! My wife and I will soon be on a slippery slope. Thank you, Lust Bites and Good Vibes!

As for the rumors that Kristina and Sommer and Alison and I are all in bed together . . . well, no--but I may bid on the film rights to the concept.

Wow--what a spam word: jxvjvyx! I think I want the film rights to that, too.

Ally said...

He looks so proud of his cock.

Almost as proud as I am of my pussy.

Looks to be a very interesting week.

Smut Girl said...

I won! I won! I would like to thank the Aca--((what's that? Oh. That's not what I won? Damn)). Right. Won sexy book from very cool male person writer that I have been dying to read. Wohoo! just have to ask. Do the hot slutty guy and the chicken come with the book?

I am simply asking a question. My mother said to never be shy about asking. So I'm not. It is simply a query...
p.s. Wohoo!

kristina lloyd said...

Do the hot slutty guy and the chicken come with the book?

Well, it's an interesting and sexy read but whether a chicken would actually ... I mean, is that possible? Or would the chicken just get in a flap? (Sorry.) Maybe Janine would know.

May said...

Can you be bribed into posting a picture of Ms Madden with pink hair?

kristina lloyd said...

May - very easily. In fact, I don't think bribery need be involved.

I haven't seen Tilly's new do yet but I'm told it's brighter than the sun. I'm sure all will be revealed within the next few days. I can't wait!

Janine Ashbless said...

Well I'm scared by next week!