Thursday, April 19, 2007

Crush Wednesday: Whatta Man...

by Alison Tyler

Nikki covered the ladies we lust after.

Alana revealed her Ideal Husband.

Janine drooled over Gerard Butler.

And now there’s me. And wouldn’t you know, I have a very specific type of crush. One that will come as no surprise to anyone who pays attention to my writing.

I am all about the older man.

Pretty young boys just don’t do it for me. Sure I can admit they’re pretty, and yes, I’ve dated a few over the years. (Underwear model. Movie star.) But after the shine wears off, here’s the truth: I don’t want the pretty boys.

I’m looking to date their daddies.

Thankfully, I’m not the only person who feels this way. But, I never thought I’d find a kindred spirit in Joan Rivers. Yet I’ll give credit where credit is due, and she summed up my emotions in a recent Esquire interview: “Men look great when they’re a little used. They’ve done it, and they know about it. That’s William Holden to me. Robert Mitchum. George Clooney is getting that look. That wonderful, wonderful lived-in look.”

Perfect description. "Lived-in." I love it. The creases around the eyes. The calluses on the hands. The "been there and done it all" attitude. Because I'm not just after the looks. I'm focused on the actions. A man knows how to treat a girl. He’s got experience. He’s got finesse. He’s got me wrapped around his finger. A boy can't put you over his lap and spank you. Trust me. Not the way a man can.


I will go for the Rat Pack style of Dean Martin over the baby-faced beauty of Brat Pack Rob Lowe every time. What can I say? You can’t choose your poison. The problem is that I’m not an ingénue anymore. (Can you be one in your thirties?) But aging hasn’t stopped me. My older men have simply gotten, well, a wee bit older. When I was 16, a 27 year old could make my heart stop. These days, my older male fantasies have adapted accordingly.

Luckily for me, age works on men as well as wine. Check out the young George Clooney and the modern man—the latter wins my heart without a question. Or Robert Mitchum—fresh-faced versus "used." And Sean Connery—well, actually, Sir Sean was always pretty fucking hot. There are exceptions to every rule, you know. Some men, like Connery, seem to have been born as men.

So now you tell me....


Are you a fan of the older man? Are you an older man yourself?

Or are you on the other side of the fence, focusing solely on the slim-hipped boys? The ones who won't make me turn my head for another twenty years.

Spill your secrets and let us know.

XXX,
Alison

P.S. For more on my personal fantasy, click to my blog, and my short story, “Yeah.”

All you pretty women,
Stand in line,
I can make love to you baby,
In an hour's time.

I'm a man,
I spell m-a-n...man.

39 comments:

Nikki H said...

I prefer men my age, but I do appreciate a fine-tuned specimen that's older than me.

Sam Eliot, the western actor, used to be hot and I adore Harrison Ford and Scott Bakula (had a bod to die for in Quantum Leap, whether he was dressed as a woman or not!)

I don't really think about age. They've got to have that 'lived-in' look, I agree, but also good manly hands. Rugged and hard-worked. None of these metro guys slathering on the hand and nail cream, thanks.

My heart stays with Richard Armitage (Guy of Gisborne)

Olivia Knight said...

As the bad nun said, ah-men... I feel like Pooh Bear when Kanga offered him honey or condensed milk on his bread, and he got so excited that he said "Both please!" and then, worried that it sounded a bit greedy, added "but don't worry about the bread."
My older-man thing errs on the side of Gandalf, though more neatly trimmed. Actually, this man about sums it up... I defy you to look at those eyes and not go a bit squirmy and shivery. (He can disgrace me anytime...)

That said, my RL boy is - uh - a boy. Slim hips, sharp hipbones, acres of rippling black hair... (Just nipped into the bedroom to check I wasn't making it up, and yes the fallen angel is still there, fast asleep). Like the man in The Pirate And The Slut, "Youth nestled in the curve of his collar bone and encircled the soft skin of his neck."

How is one supposed to choose? Then I realised I don't actually have to. I can have my beautiful boy and the sexy silver-haired mage - I just have to hang around for about fifty years. (I'm still trying to persuade him that he'll need to grow a little goatee, though.)

Nikki Magennis said...

Olivia, that's the loveliest thing I've heard in ages.

Nikki Magennis said...

Here's my original comment. I got distracted when Olivia went all soppy.

Lovely post, as always, A! You started me thinking...

Without wanting to crow, I think I've got the best thing ever. A chameleon. Sometimes he's that lanky, skinny, pretty-boy with the longest eyelashes ever. And then sometimes when he sort of narrows his eyes and looks all serious and wears a shirt...

Just as well, 'cause I really don't know that I could choose. Maybe there's some men that are somehow all ages, depending on the light?

Having said that, I'd do John Gielgud any day.

Portia Da Costa said...

I used to like the young, pretty ones, but now I definitely seem to go for the older, slightly more 'lived in' looking guys. Usually quirky types... The Vinster, obviously, but also William Petersen, James Woods, Anthony Hopkins. Blokes of that ilk...

The gap between my fantasy guys and 'himself' has narrowed a lot in the last few years. Sort of in proportion to the ever widening gulf between real me and my young, fantasy self...

SarahF said...

Hmmm I like pretty boys oh so much but they always get older!

My other half is 9 years older than me but he acts so young I've never noticed! All my long term boyfriends have been older than me so I suspect that really deep down I like the older man. However I don't think in terms of age just in attraction terms - is he sexy yep or no. David Bowie oh yes, George Bush oh no.

Nikki Magennis said...

I agree about David Bowie, but isn't there a tiny bit of every woman that would like to sit on Dubya's face?

...And not move till he stopped kicking.

(Did I just get put on the CIA hitlist? Imagine being arrested for assault with a deadly muff...)

I'd better stop talking now.

Jeremy Edwards said...

Wouldn't you know it--there's at least one bona fide older man (per my birth certificate, though I remain skeptical) among the readers of this blog (at least to the extent that mid-forties qualifies as "older" across the collective Lust Bites age distribution). Not the William Holden type, though--more like Eddie Cantor. Old enough to know all the punchlines. Rest assured I'm revealing this not to advertise my middle-aged wares (I'm cheerfully married and monogamous; and, as for Eddie Cantor, he's deceased), but just by way of raising my hand in class in response to the "Are you an older man yourself?" question. By the way, though I'm only a couple of years older than my wife, she likes the fact that I'm a little older--not because of any vanity on her part, but because she likes the idea of my being slightly more experienced with the world.

SarahF said...

Ok Nikki you've got me there - though I'm not sure even for services to humanity would I wish to put any part of my lurve bits that close to Dubya! Perhaps merely a suffocation by bosom would suffice? I think I've got enough up front to manage that lol.

Janine Ashbless said...

Aragorn rather than Legolas, any day, any night. Liam Neeson rather than Ewan McGregor. Sorry Madelynne, I appreciate the pretty-boy thing in an aesthetic sense but a bit old and crusty works much better for me!

Olivia, when I was last at college I had a tutor who was the epitome of sexy silver-haired mage. Also witty, sarcastic and wonderfully intelligent. Sometimes with a goatee. Did I have a massive crush on him? Oh you bet...

I've always liked older men. When at school I never fancied any of the boys; it was teachers I wanted to shag.

Bad bad Janine.

Nikki Magennis said...

Suffocation by bosom. I like it. We could start a movement.

'Sisters, rise up against the forces of evil, armed only with the contents of your brassiere.'

If any boys want to join, you'll have to find a different part of your anatomy with which to smother the oppressors. [Thinking hard].

Alison Tyler said...

Oooh, lovely to get up and see the conversation in progress... and so many votes for the older man. Yay! And Janine, yes on the teachers. I had an antholopology professor who was to die for. The perfect looking professor.

And Olivia, best of both worlds. That's just lovely!

Now, must wait for the coffee to kick in before I write anymore. Am a wee bit bleary this morning...

Mathilde Madden said...

I used to like pretty boys a lot. But it's changing. Now I like ridiculously macho (werewolves can do that to your brain). Big, built, tall, strong, bald, um, naked...

And, yes, older fits with that. Older and jaded and a little cynical and disillusioned.

Oh, and struggling.

Alison Tyler said...

Oh, hi, Jeremy.

Thanks for raising your hand when I asked! Great to have a little testosterone in the room...

Were your ears burning? I keep getting such awesome comments about your story in "A is for Amour." But are you sure your wife likes you being older solely for your experience? Doesn't she get just the slightest kick out of always been the younger woman?

Madeline said...

Older men never caught my eye until Felix came along and caught my eye and everything else. I don't know why it never hit me before as I'm much better off with someone who knows more than me and shares unstintingly (of his knowledge, anyhow.) I am attracted to intelligence and humour, more than 'a type'. I did date a professor when I was in college, if one wild night counts as 'a date' but...well...you know that 'size doesn't matter' thing? This was the one and only time in my life when I thought, 'Is that all there is? I am so outta here!'
Plus he had in mind that I should 'take care of' him, which is not my forte when it comes to guys. At least he was mature about my mega-brushoff.
My theory is that the feminist movement kinda messed things up between male and female babyboomers. It was a revolution and a few eggs got broken to make that omelet, so I'm not complaining, I'm just sayin'...
between guys pretending to be sensitive and women acting all tough about everything, something got lost...nowadays, I like a strong stoic Englishman. Stiff upper lip (for starters...) or, as my sister says, 'Oh be a man!'
So I think babyboomers, men and women, need someone older, or younger, because we are deeply suspicious of each other. Am I cynical? I honestly believe we boy and girl babyboomers messed around so much with the nature vs nurture debate, (which seems so charmingly naieve, now) and the whole 'Tell me how you feeeel' thing, that we exposed too much of ourselves to each other and lost the mystery. Anyway, it's a great relief to be with a man who listens to me but doesn't actually yak that much himself. Who expects me to be female (change my mind, suffer the slings and arrows, cry every so often and require face cream and flowers to be happy) and expects fortitude and ethical behaviour of himself.
Speaking of ethics - Felix believes that when chivalry died something great was lost. Used to be, he says, men were expected to do the right thing, butnow that it's every man for himself, the world is a freeforall where everyone can be trampled in a man's quest for whatever it is that he wants. I think there's truth to that. I've not turned my back on feminism. Great things were accomplished by women in the 20th Century. I just feel a bit used up by the process. So - I used to like men my own age butnow, give me the older guy. Count me in, Alison. ps - Great blog from Alison Tyler, up to her usual high standards. xoxo

Alison Tyler said...

Kristina let me know that the photos aren't showing up correctly. (She's magic, and she's trying to fix them.) But I wanted you to know what you're missing -- in case you can't see them. Gorgeous pics of George Clooney, Sean Connery, and my favorite, Robert Mitchum circa Cape Fear. Oh, god was he hot.

jothemama said...

I do love watching the OC - and asked myself the age old question of who I'd pefer to do - had to admit with a twinge, that cute as Seth and Ryan are, they're just too young - it has to be Sandy!

kristina lloyd said...

Yay! We now have totty.

I fixed it. I'm amazingly competent for a woman.

Well, I hope we have totty. Can everyone see the geezers?

I love that pic of Robert Mitchum. Makes me much happier than flowers and face cream ever could.

Alison Tyler said...

Thank you, Kristina.
You're an angel!
And is that not the perfect picture of Robert Mitchum? There were quite a few to choose from, but the one with him by the bed whet my, um, appetite...

XXX
Alison

PS Of course, you had to go and call them geezers.

Nikki Magennis said...

Kristina fixed the pictures????

What is the world coming to.

Thanks, dear.

kiki said...

hmm -- i think that i like them both...cary grant young and cary grant older, llllllove him! and i was 16 when he died. it was the first time i remember being really upset about an actor dying..that's to say, i am not a baby boomer - i'm the daughter of one. i don't quite understand what the baby boomerness and feminism has to do with liking men older or younger. my mom was a feminist and married two men that are 2 years older than her (at different times, heh). so i don't know that being a feminist had anything to do with the kind of men she married, except that she doesn't like sexism, but fuck, who does, right? i know that ali isn't a baby boomer, and she likes those older men. and back to the post, i think she's absolutely right about cloony and sean connery. and, while now, after so many of his icky statements, i'm not such a fan of mel gibson, he was SO DAMN FINE in galipoli when he was what? 18? he looks so so young (yes yes, very very sad and heartwrenching movie). he was also mighty fine in all the mad max movies. he had some not totally handsome moments in the later lethal weapon movies. and in braveheart! yum.

so, someone that i think is very handsome and he has this THING over me that doesn't make much sense to many of my friends is Brendan Fraser. he's only a few years older than me. so he's not really older, b/c, hell, that would mean that *I* am getting older, and that just CAN'T be right.

hmm, now i'm probably just babbling. can we chalk it up to "i've not yet had my coffee," please???

*beam*

Nikki Magennis said...

Can I just say 'Christopher Walken', because I like saying it as often as possible? : )

Alison Tyler said...

Yes, Christopher Walken...
Did you see him in True Romance?
Did you like True Romance?
(Had James Gandolfini in it, too. Heh heh. I was going to get him in here one way or another.)

Nikki Magennis said...

Did I like True Romance? It was so coooooool.

I loved it. And Walken. And Patricia Arquette. I wonder if she does taste like peaches...

Alison Tyler said...

In my mind, she does...

TeresaNoelleRoberts said...

I like experience. Uh-huh. Doesn't necessarily need to be older than me, but has to have that look in his (or her) eyes that speaks of fascinating tales to tell and fascinating lessons learned that they're willing to share.

(Which adds another dimension to the Legolas question, doesn't it? Because Orlando Bloom is Way Too Young, but Legolas, while young for an elf, has been around long enough to know what he's doing.)

As for the great Legolas versus Aragorn controversy...give me Boromir. Okay, so he's just a wee bit corrupt, but corrupt is hot. And unlike Aragorn, he washes, which is important to me.

Mouse said...

Older men, yes. all the way. Actually, Alison, you and I have a startling amount in common when it comes to sex and relationships!

Lost my virginity to an 18 year old at 14- that was the oldest "man" I could find!- and at 15, moved on to a 28-year old.

Fiance is twelve years older than me, though that's still in the 30s.

And yeah- the older George Clooney is where it's at. Though I think I can get into younger men- not boys, but late twenties-early thirties- when they're very clearly tops. Like, um, Hugh Jackman as Wolverine. (Though I really can't bear to look at him in any other role- it spoils things terribly.)

Amanda said...

until my mid 30s, there was no way i was interested in older men. as a (very) young girl i had a lot of unwanted attention from men who seemed very old to me (anywhere from 30 and on, and particularly men in their 50s.) it frightened and revolted me. i tended to be attracted to men my age or younger. then in the mid 30s the magic happened; hormones or whatever that great wild sexual fire that happens to many women in their mid 30s kicked in and suddenly i became attracted to older men. now i am quite wild for them. silver hair, oh yes. strong hands, intelligent and cultured or working man. i love 'em all. and i am still wild about the rebellious twenty something poets, but now i'm kinda hooked on the publishers too ;)

Portia Da Costa said...

Oh crikey, how could I possibly forget Christopher Walken! One of my faves... did anyone else love him with white hair in Batman Returns? I based a character in The Devil Inside on that look...

Kate Pearce said...

I really don't think about how old/young someone is. I'm just attracted to them, or not. But I also love being with someone who has 'made it through the rain" (as Barry Manilow so aptly put it)

Mr Kate Pearce is 3 months older than me, but technically it's a calender year because he's October and I'm the next January. We met in a chemistry class when we were 14 and it's been a real pleasure to watch him grow up...

Madelynne Ellis said...

Well you know I like my men pretty but that doesn't mean they're all young.

Ah, Legolas... major crush. And I'm not talking about Orlando bloody Bloom. I'm talking about the real one, from the book. Mind you I rather partial to Fingolfin too, but we won't go there...

Mostly I just like what I like and it has very little to do with age. Jason Issacs, Andy Lau, Julian Sands, David Bowie (oh, yes). None of whom are exactly "young". A few lines around the eyes, a worldly air, hmm, but beards, nope, not for me thanks.

Still, getting back to the older men thing. One of the most beautiful men I ever saw was in a fish and chip shop queue. He had long silver-white hair pulled back in a ponytail and crystal blue eyes. It was very hard not to stare. I was 25 at the time, I'm guessing he was at least 30 years older.

Alison Tyler said...

Oh, Kate, how cool to grow up with someone. I think that's a romance novel in itself, isn't it?

And Madelynne, I saw a man like that once. The long silver hair. The striking blue eyes. I was in SF with a friend at a cafe--and this man with a silver lion's mane of hair was two tables away. I kept looking at him, just crushing on him through the whole meal.

Wouldn't you know it? His son asked me out. (I meant what I said about longing for the daddies.)

XXX,
Alison

Jeremy Edwards said...

Thanks for passing along that nice feedback, Alison!

You're right--my wife definitely gets a kick out of being the younger woman, inasmuch as it's one more reason she can feel like a "perpetual kid." : ) And I'm just a slightly-older kid.

kittenish said...

I agree with Madeline - intelligence is verrry attractive, and that knowing look sexy older men have makes me weak at the knees.

Two words by way of example - Sean Bean. And he's just as devastating playing a cad as he is the valiant Boromir. Can you hear me purring?

Alison Tyler said...

This is from Karl, who had trouble posting, so emailed me directly:

"As an older man myself, it's nice to know that my "type" is appreciated by the likes of Alison Tyler."
--Karl

Alison Tyler said...

Oh, wait... and David Byrne. I can't forget David Byrne! You can't see him very well, but check out this rehearsal with him and the extra action marching band

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dh7wcnJ4oRY

Kis Lee said...

I think skinny, pretty boys are overrated (no offense, pretty boys!)

I like a guy with broad shoulders and some meat on his bones. I may be petite, but I like my big men. :)

Oh, and I love guys with dark hair and dark eyes. *rowr*

Gwen Masters said...

I haven't had the time to drop by the blog this week...until now...and what is the first picture to catch my eye?

Clooney...George Clooney.

Oh, Dear Lord. My mind is officially in the gutter for the rest of the day. Thank you!

Alison Tyler said...

Oh, good, Gwen,
That's just where we like it...