Wednesday, February 14, 2007


It’s Valentine’s Day and all the world is wearing its very best underwear. Whether you got a single red rose, a sackful of cards or a gas bill, your day’s about to get a whole lot lustier. Because ladies and gents, our beautiful blog is barely 2 months old and yet … drumroll, please … we’re already bringing you another glorious giveaway competition!

Yes, it’s filth for free. We’ve got 4 bundles of love on offer, each including a copy of Sex in Public, the latest short story collection from Black Lace. Sex in Public is one of the strongest hottest anthologies Black Lace have published and we’re all proud as punch. It features stories from several of your hard-working, smut-addled lustbiters: Nikki Magennis, Portia Da Costa, Mathilde Madden, Madelynne Ellis, Sophie Mouette, Kate Pearce and Kristina Lloyd (aka me). Check out Nikki’s post if you want to be tantalized by our first lines and Kate’s post for some seriously steamy words on cowboys and Essex. (Not cowboys in Essex, you understand. We’re talking Stetsons and spurs here, not dodgy builders.)

What else? All the prizes are different and some books are even signed. We’ve got a range of Black Lace and Cheek novels, an erotic memoir from Suzanne Portnoy, plus two top US anthologies – Caught Looking and Best Gay Erotica (both Cleis Press) – featuring stories from Shanna Germain and Alana Noel Voth. The one thing each bundle has in common, apart from hot characters, horny action and top-notch writing, is a copy of our newest and fantastic-est UK release, Sex in Public. (Released in the US on April 3rd which is really quite soon.)

So what do you have to do to stand a chance of winning? Easy. Just comment on this post. Say anything you want – say ‘whip me with roses’, ‘I love you, Lust Bites’, ‘moonbeams and starlight’. Basically, say 'Yes please! Me want!' You don’t need a blog account. Join in as ‘anonymous’ or ‘other’. Just remember to leave a name for us to call out when we do the winners draw in March. We’re holding the doors open till the last day of February so keep the comments coming.

And, because we care enough to blog the very best, we’re also offering you a dozen fascinating facts about all the writers in the competition. (They were clean out of roses.) Actually, it’s a baker’s dozen because we like to do things differently. Also, still doing things differently, some of the facts are barefaced lies. Can you separate truth from fiction? Who’s being honest? Who’s telling porkies? Remember, we’re writers. We get paid to make stuff up. You really shouldn’t trust us, you know.

This isn’t part of the contest. It’s just for fun! Yeah, OK, so some of you are already having fun. But remember, love doesn't come without pain and the course of BDSM never did run smooth. So here are some snippets about us, vaguely related to love, lust, Valentine's, coupledom and, err, quadrupledom. Tell us how many of the facts are true. Shout ‘J’accuse!’ and point your finger at the fibbers.

OK, lie detectors at the ready ...

True or false?

  1. Madelynne Ellis (Passion of Isis) has a romantic boyfriend who once sent her a hug in the post by drawing around his hands and arms, and cutting them out of paper.
  2. Suzanne Portnoy (The Butcher, The Baker, The Candlestick Maker) once held a small select Valentine’s party in her hot tub with 3 other guys.
  3. Mathilde Madden (Equal Opportunities) had a male escort called Mark Valentine in her novel, Mad About the Boy. (I don't mean she had him. Well, she might've done ... who knows? I'm sure she wanted to. What I'm trying to say is she created a character with that name.)
  4. Nikki Magennis (Circus Excite) was once picked up by a stranger who gave her a crushed Valentine's rose he found in the street.
  5. Kate Pearce (Sex in Public) struggled with long-distance love and, after getting on the wrong coach one Valentine’s Day, ended up four hours late for a date with her boyfriend. That poor, poor boyfriend is now her husband.
  6. Janine Ashbless (Burning Bright) once proposed to all the men she knew on a leap year Valentine’s day. The hussy.
  7. Sophie Mouette (Cat Scratch Fever) is made up of two people, Teresa Noelle Roberts and Dayle A Dermatis. One of them has single pierced ears and tattoos; the other has multiple piercings but no tattoos. If it’s true, can you guess which one's which?
  8. Alison Tyler (Tiffany Twisted) once broke up with a boy on Valentine's Day. The last she heard, he was still holding a grudge. (Ah, young love. They were 10 at the time.)
  9. Alana Noel Voth (Best Gay Erotica) has a heart ‘n’ dagger tattoo on her ankle.
  10. Portia Da Costa (Gothic Blue) has a double crush: two guys, one name. Valentino is the hero of her forthcoming novel, Suite Seventeen, and is also a character played by Vincent D'Onofrio in a film called 'The Velocity of Gary'. (Yes, we know she's bonkers but we love her.)
  11. Shanna Germain (Caught Looking) has been proposed to over a dozen times but only once said ‘yes’, to a guy who promptly broke her heart.
  12. Kristina Lloyd (Asking for Trouble) dreamed of marrying her first serious boyfriend whose surname was ‘Fullalove’.
  13. Madeline Moore (Wild Card) once hand made (yes - hand made) a shirt for her boyfriend on Valentine’s Day and he said, ‘Thanks, I didn’t get you anything.’

Whaddya reckon? Would we lie to you?

© Lust Bites

  • The image at the top of this post is Toxic Schizophrenia by Tim Noble and Sue Webster. In real life it flashes.


kristina lloyd said...

I know I'm not allowed to enter this competition, especially since I just launched it, but I'll say it anyway: Me want!


Alison Tyler said...

You're so adorable, Kristina! Awesome post, and I'm struggling now to figure out which statements are True or False. But maybe that's because it's 2:00 a.m. here...

Happy Valentine's Day!

Nikki Magennis said...

Happy happy Valentine's to all of you! I wish you all flowers and chocolate and booze and smooches and heavy breathing!


Mathilde Madden said...

Happy Valentine's Day!

Madelynne - who current has custody of most of the prize - let me paw at some of these books on Monday and pretend they were mine.

It's like everyone's baddest-goodest thoughts have been trapped in a box

Olivia Knight said...

Yippee yippee yes please... Well, I'm just being greedy, 'cos I got TWO advance copies of 'Sex In Public' (first one got lost in the post then found again) - but now I can wrap them up in heart-patterened paper and give them away, 'cos I'm going to get a whole BUNDLE of books... Aren't I?
Um - aren't I? <:-(

Eloise said...

Me please!

As for the questions, I have no idea, but I can have some fun guessing:

1, true
2, sounds like fun, but false
3, true
4, too unlikely not to be true for someone, if not her
5, Again too unlikely not to be true for someone
6, false
7, false (saves me a guess!)
8, true (been there, albeit rather older)
9, false... just because way too many trues so far!
10, true
11, False... if it's true >:D< aww
12, false
13, Aww, but true for someone.

femmegyrl said...

i love all you fabulous ladies! you each rock my world for your bold brazen breutiful use of language! kristina lloyd, you rock my world this week in particular!
oh yes, alison tyler sent me, but i would have come by anyway!

the giving away of free filth. . . all i can say is yay!!!!

Lively Lad said...

You gave the game away when you said that as you are all writers...
ie all untrue, except maybe Nicci's - 'cos she always seems to be treated like shi...
-and no 'Circus Excite' in that bundle? Buggar - will now have to go and purchase another copy as a gfr 'borrowed' mine and neither have been seen for over two months,so guess they've gone the way of all good things - ho hummmm.

Anonymous said...

J'accuse! I mean... I love Tilly's writing!!! and I want to enter the contest ;)!


Anonymous said...

I found my way here from Alison Tyler's blog. I haven't lurked here long, but I'm certainly enjoying myself. Thanks for the steamy, smart writing.


Karl Friedrich Gauss said...

Happy Valentines day to all you lusty Lust Bite writers. Would it be a compliment to say that you really "bite"?

If not, I should think of something else, like "I enjoy reading your site, and feasting on the myriad permutations and combinations of romantic entanglements you ladies explore and imagine.

Although, I have to admit I only learned about your site through Alison's Blog (what I mean is, Alison sent me).

And please do enter me in your contest, although the guy in Alison's blog post today maybe needs them more because, according to her, he doesn't have any books in his apartment. Imagine that, a writer consorting with someone who doesn't read. Do opposites attract or what?

Keep up the good work. Write on!

Oh, and all true except 6, 8 & 12.

Teresa said...

Happy Valentines Day everbody, snowed in here in Ohio. Ya, that means no work today (lol) Get to spend the day in my pj's (yeehaw)!

Madelynne Ellis said...

Happy Valentine's Day, folks.

Um, and there is a copy of Circus Excite in the bundle. I know, it's currently sitting on my mantlepiece.

Sabrina Luna said...


Happy V-day, Everyone!

Tara Alton said...

Love your site.Please enter me in the contest.

discsophist said...

Happy V-Day, and bring on the filth! SO much love.

Suzanne Portnoy said...

Happy Happy Hallmark Day gals! Let's hope we all get all the love we deserve, not just today but always. As for me, I've been promised some pumpkin pasta cooked by a sweetheart... unless he has to work late. Mwah!

tallboy said...

Happy valentines day all ... Me please for saucy prizes, I'm very tall indeed.

bye bye.

Anonymous said...

Happy Indulgence Day!!

~Tammy Lee

allison said...

Yes...please...I need to win the prize. I need it. I do! I do! I'll be good...please....please!!!

Happy V-day :)

MM said...

Sign me up! :)

t'Sade said...

Valentine Day contest!
all that I can hope for and more
letting that tiny hope rise inside
enjoying the dream of new books
naturally spread across my bed
the bags between my excited fingers
ignoring the world in my breathless excitement
needing to finish each one
energetically hoping to win just one

T, T, F (never read it, sadly), T, T, F (though, my mate-in-law's mother got married on leap day), F (Dayle has no tattoos, in the kitchen, with the spoon), T, T, T, T, F, F.

Happy double Valentine's Day.

thelegirl said...

Oh Alison Tyler most definitely sent me here on this gorgeous holiday!

Post-Modern Sex Geek said...


I want these books! And not just because Alison told me to either! Please????

justjo said...

Please let me win! Pregnant ladies need to lie in bed reading high quality smut!

I think it is the perogative of a purveyor of smut to make up fabulous tales about herself, true or false bedamned!

Kate Pearce said...

Happy Valentine's day everyone and good luck in the contest!
can I enter please? pretty please?

Harmony said...

61 days until my husband is home and the real erotic fun begins...

But yay for roses i got some today. Our favorite pasttime is reading Erotica, what was else be done when seperate by 6000 miles.

Keep up the good work we love it...

Oh and Alison sent me... she rocks my socks.


ThreeOranges said...

Here from Tilly's, and please put me down for some of the naughtiness, thanks!

Shon Richards said...

Blogger apparently ate my attempt to ask for free stuff. Give me?

Dayle A. Dermatis said...

Yeah, my husband's away as well. I bought Valentine's Day cards for him a month ago, and only remembered yesterday that I hadn't mailed them. Which is very unlike me--I'm usually early!

But I'm embroiled in a new novel, and about to go on two trips (to Vegas and then the Oregon Coast), so I'm a little distracted...!

Maria, Lover of All Things Romance said...

I'm with you Shon, Blogger ate my pleas too.

I need sex. So please give me the books or I might just die

Diana Troldahl said...

Yes please!!!!!

Diana Troldahl

P.S. Kate Pearce sent me

TeresaNoelleRoberts said...

Happy V-Day, all. We're having an ice day here--ot as pretty as a snow day, but it still sent my husband home from work early, so it's all very cozy. I can work on my novel and reach out and caress him at his computer!

We always claim not to be big into Valentine's Day, but we do have a few "plans" for later. Fortunately none of them involved dinner reservations, because leaving the house is not a good option.

Darren Gasser said...

Hi, Dayle :)

Liam said...

I am here at teresanoellerobert's personal solicitation . . . ummmm . . . I mean invitation.

I really think a prize package would be due compensation for all my years of pain and suffering . . . as a Boston Red Sox fan.

Johanna said...

Oh yes please!

Stuck inside in Boston today, and making the best of it.

-Johanna Lisle

Katie said...

i want to win, please!

Anonymous said...

I want in for a chance to win free yummyness.

Thank you very much.


Ellen said...

I want! want want want!

Dayle A. Dermatis said...

Hi, Darren! Ooh, one of my friends came to visit! I've got my fingers crossed for you! (Well, for your lovely wife, whom I'm sure you're trying to win the books for. ;-) )

Terri said...

We wants it!

erm, the we that is me.

And yes, you would lie. But only to tease.

Anonymous said...

I'm in dire need of some new reads....count me in!!
Happy Valentines Day!


Mona said...

Happy Valentine's Day

Anonymous said...

Alison sent me.

Thanks so much for the thought-provoking posts!

Looking forward to reading more of the fabulous writing!


Beth T. said...

Woot! A contest! Love the blog, btw.

Sarah F said...

Happy belated Valentines day guys. Madelynne especially - it was great to see you and distract you by talking about other stuff the other Sunday!

Ooh and Portia have read one of your books now "entertaining Mr Stone" and i'd like to know where these gorgeous public servants lurk - certainly not in my council lol!

Sarah F xx

allison said...

I'm posting again because I reeeeally want to win!


And, I realized that I should probably give you some contact info! If I'm lucky enough to win, you can contact me via MySpace (I'm on of Alison Tyler's friends — more like "fan").

Jennifer Y. said...

Fun contest with great prizes!!!

Anonymous said...

This blog should really be on my daily reading list...excellent excellent stuff.

Thanks for the link, Alison!


Casey said...

Many thanks to Alison for tipping us off whenever there is smut to be had for nothing but nice words and filthy thoughts. We love you!

- Dia

Robin L. Rotham said...

Wish I'd known about the contest before I ordered so many of these books, LOL! But it never hurts to have backup copies of the really good ones, so enter me anyway.

Thanks for all the entertaining and thought-provoking posts, ladies!

Kristi aka CaffinatedWench said...

Oh my goodness! So many lust provoking reading opportunities here to whet ones um....whistle?


Love ya Allison! Thanks for sending us here for all the good winter reading to break up the cabin fever. (...and looking at the the book titles, they really could start a "fever" ;)

Jenny said...

Alison sent me! Pick me!

Jocelyn said...

*gets down on knees and begs* Yo quiero! Yo quiero! Por favor! :-D

Getting free things gives me a clearer complexion!


For brownie points: Alison Tyler sent me.

Anonymous said...

"‘whip me with roses’, ‘I love you, Lust Bites’, ‘moonbeams and starlight’ 'Yes please! Me want!'"

There, I've said everything you wanted ... now can I have the books please?!

As for the True/False, it's a trick questions - they are all False. (I mean, 'Fullalove', as if!)

Raymond said...

This is amazing writing and I enjoy reading it all thanks.

Nikki Magennis said...

Dear anonymous - well done for saying all the phrases. We'd love to enter you in the comp, but we need a name. A made up one will do, but we have to have something to announce...

mAD rUSSian said...

would you send me the prise if i tell you that a fact no 2 (of Suzanne Portnoy)happened to me in real life...
all the best

Anonymous said...

Oh....I was at Portia's blog and saw the link for this contest....

please enter me!
Christy H.

Anonymous said...

Sorry to say but Valentine's Day is hardly an evening to get in and read some books. each to their own. hope you all had a lovely time. i always fall for consumer driven, capitalist, marketeer driven, stationer clap trap - i bought a card and delivered it with my own prose inside.

jezebel said...

Oops, that was me saying whip me with roses etc. Sorry, I forgot to leave my name. Call me Jezebel.

Does this mean I get entered twice ..?

Stephe said...

(oh, don't forget Salacious.) ;-)

My weekly reading has just cranked up several notches. May many more blog and writing anniversaries come your way!

Me so, SO want. Oh, please. (You can't see me on my knees, but I am.)

Cat said...

#7. True - I know Dayle has single pierced ears and tattoos, so I'm guessing Teresa has multiple piercings but no tattoos.

Nienke said...

Oooo, I wanna get me some of that lovin! (Alison sent me, btw)
Great idea! Much success to your blog.

lady hamilton said...

Yes please! I'd love to win some of these hot books!

Cherie said...

Ooh! Would love to win! Pick me please!

Cherie J

Bubble said...

Just reading my daily dose of Allison's blog and noticed the contest, I'd love to enter as well.

Hope you all had a fab Lover's Day.

Jacqui C

Emerald said...

Happy belated Valentine's Day to everyone, and I'm finally getting a chance to follow Ms. Alison Tyler's direction to come here and enter this naughty yet oh-so-nice contest! ;)

Have a great one all.


Mehreen said...

I love free filth almost as must as I love Alison Tyler's blog!

Kissa Starling said...

'Flog me with the lavender roses and then later...use the thorns!'

jaydeevixen said...

Sent by Alison Tyler, delighted by even the prospect of being 'saved' by more great writing and erotic beauty....please, oh please, oh please pick me!

kristina lloyd said...

Yay! Thanks Jaydeevixen. With that, we just officially got more comments on this competition than on our last one at Christmas. Keep the love coming. Closing date is 28th Feb, this Wednesday - although if a coach load of horny people turn up late on Thursday, I’m sure we could be bribed. We’ll do the draw at the weekend and on Sunday will announce the winners plus those all-important answers to our true or false quiz. No one’s got them all right yet. We’re obviously good at fooling you.

Anyone else want to enter the comp? Come on now, don’t be shy. Free smut! Roll up! Roll up!

KarenG said...

Please enter me in the competition. Thanks for the chance to win.

Anonymous said...

I think i need to be corrupted...


josie said...

Yes please! Kristina Lloyd forced me ...

Flossy said...

Hot stuff. Meow!

Maud said...

Dirt, dark, and delightful…slightly twisted, mucky and fun…Lust Bites have certainly bitten me, and it feels great, albeit a little sore...umm

You writing ladies take us readers on a voyage of sexual delights, awakenings and tinglings… so keep it up and more, SO much more please…go on, make me have it!

'Licky Lou' said...

That Kristina Llyoyd is still trying to lead us all astray in Brighton! Have just read the Amazon uk comment - he's not calling YOU an Arthouse slut darling, it's all of us who have/are going to READ it!
Well sign me up for the t-shirt 'cos I just bought it! Hee-hee! Now I'm an Arthouse slut too! Who else is out there?!
Oh, and sign me up for the competition too! -Keep 'em comin' (so to speak!) gets me back to look at the website everytime! (I'm also a CHEAP Arthouse slut!)

spitshine said...

i would say the most proposterous trivia is true and the believable stuff is bullshit.
#6 is definitely false. something an art house slut would say.

please enter me so that i can possibly win a well-endowed and girthful collection of books. but if they're not hard-covers, i will donate them to the church.

Anonymous said...

Pick Me, Pick Me...Free Smut, I love it...The smutier the better:)
Lovin' the blog Alison.
Heather A.

shlomo said...

Book me! Please please book me now! (No, I don't have a prison fetish... why do you ask?)

Anonymous said...

Yes please i'd like to win!!

cathy said...

Don't know the answers as I have only just found your blog but I wrote you a little poem just for the hell of it.
Not very profound but it only took 5 minutes.
I'll be back

You’re giving me that look
That says you want to fuck
And I think maybe I will
‘Cos I’ve got some time to kill

You don’t need to stay a long time
If you want to be my valentine
It’s intelligence I find
That really blows my mind

So if you dazzle me enough you’ll see
What fun a one night stand can be.

Tara said...

i just found this today, and would like to be entered please :)

kristina lloyd said...

It's all over down here. Nothing more to see. Move along, please.

Huge thanks to everyone who entered, who wrote poetry, and said rude, funny, lovely, greedy things, and generally made competition time so much fun.

Our four lucky winners will be announced this Sunday, 4th March. We'll also reveal the answers to our True or False quiz and you can find out which Lust Biters are the innocent angels and which are the filthy great liars. You might be surprised.

Good luck in the draw!

- Kristina butter-wouldn't-melt Lloyd x

PS. Madelynne, Alison, you have to give up the prizes soon so start preparing yourself.