Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Some like it Rough

by Erastes

Yes, yes - some of us like the clean cut, the Clark Kents, the Jason Bournes, the James Bonds. They are all very well in their place - at the Casino, a hunt ball, tea with your mother but there's a dark and nasty streak in a lot of us who even while on the arm of that Oh-So-Nice young man that your family approves of, stares lasciviously at that guy who's just walked in.


You know him. He's dressed wrong. He hasn't bothered to wash, style or cut his hair. He could have a crew-cut. He might be bald. He's probably scarred. He's smoking and he makes it look like sexual harrassment. He hasn't even bothered to shave for God's sake, and the ball room is vibrating in shock. But he catches your eye and your knickers go damp and if he asked you to leave with him, well you'd probably throw your leg over his Harley and fuck up the rest of your life.

So what's the appeal? You know he's bad. You know he's not going to have a job, or he's just come out of prison, or he's on parole. If he has a job it's not going to be anything in the City, no matter how ruthless the stockmarket is. That sort of job has its bad boys, but the Gordon Gekkos of this world are Clean Cut. The Bit of Rough will have oil under his nails, and callouses so hard on his palms that they'll leave scratches on your skin.

You hope.

He's an Alpha and he's not going to care what you want. He's not going to ask "What do you want to do this evening?" He's not going to care about where your G Spot is, because "Lady, if you don't come like a train when I'm fucking you, then there's something wrong with you" (or some such trashy talk. *fans self*) If he has a dog it's out in the yard and it doesn't have a name. The bit of Rough either lives in a trailer, or a mansion. No inbetweens. Sex with him is going to hurt - and hurt good.

So who are my favourite Roughs? Some real, some fiction, some video game (for my sins)

1. Solid Snake. He's a charmer, and flirts with all women in his orbit. He's deadly with his bare hands, smokes and not only maintains designer stubble, but sports a mullet and makes it look good. Cons: He's likely to be killed, and anyway he's a clone. He die soon.


2. Jason Stratham - At his Rough best in The Transporter. Hard as nails: hard enough to realise there's a girl in a body bag in his boot and to zip her back up in it after discovery. Cons: He's anally retentive to the point of madness. Roughs are not supposed to be tidy.



3. Greebo as a man. From Terry Pratchett's Discworld - "Greebo could commit sexual harrasment by sitting quietly in the next room." Cons: He's a cat. All he really wants is a plate of fish heads and to have his tummy tickled.


4. Indiana Jones. Even when he scrubbed up he still looked scruffy - and by association...Hans Solo - "you scruffy looking - NERF HERDER!" Yeah, she liked a scoundrel. We all like a scoundrel. Also Deckard from Bladerunner. Hell - Harrison Ford does GOOD Rough. Cons: ermm..... *still thinking...*





5. Snake Plissken (the eagle-eyed will probably spot a pattern going on here...). Eyepatch. Check. Bulging biceps (not too bulging, please). Check. No moral compass. Check. He'll do. Cons: He's a life-long con. He's got a bomb in him which will go off if he breaks parole. Aw. Who cares!!



Of course, there could be drawbacks. Your Rough might not be around for a long time. Perhaps he's off in his truck tomorrow on the Ice Run.

He's got a load of smuggled chemicals that he's shipping to Sirius. You could wake up and he'll be gone. But that's not all bad. The Rough isn't going to want to go shopping with you. He's not going to own a People Carrier and know his way around a wine list. He's not going to go to the video store for you and get Beaches. He's never going to watch his child being born. You know you are better off - in the long run - with the Clean Cut. And at least you can introduce the Clean Cut to your mother.

But it's a nice dream and anyway, with a bit of luck the Rough will probably be round this way again some day.

So who are yours - with links or piccies please?

32 comments:

Deanna Ashford said...

Loved the post.

My favourite 'bit of rough' is Richard Sharpe. He's a guttersnipe who has pulled himself up by his bootstraps. He is sexy and he's dangerous and he's risen high because of his bravery. He is looked down upon by his upper class fellow officers but he doesn't care and his men love him.

Also the guy who plays him Sean Bean is a bit of rough himself so it works all the way round for me.

Janine Ashbless said...

Way to go Erastes!

Yum...

On the other hand, I have to admit I'm really a fan of Faux Rough. I want them to look tough, unshaven, scarred, ruthless etc (and I even like mullets and eye-patches!) but I really want them to have a bit of depth and warmth. I want them to be able to talk about something other than sex without boring me. I want a cuddle afterwards!

God, my standards are ridiculously high.

Janine Ashbless said...

Though obviously Attila the Hun counts as Rough by any standards...

Erastes said...

eek! Sharpe! How could I have forgotten to list him?

If they ever make Discworld film that includes Vimes, he's top of my Casting List.

*laughs * Oh dear. I'm quite certain Attila wasn't as cute as that. Rough, most certainly, point scored to both of you!

I wanted to put an excerpt of my writing in, and suddenly found I'd never written a Rough. This needs to be addressed!!

Madelynne Ellis said...

Sean Bean as Sharpe, oh yes! I'm struggling for others, Riddick... does he count?

Erastes said...

Oh Yes - Riddick certainly does.

Bruce Willis not so much, I think he's a bit too touchy feely.

Madelynne Ellis said...

You know I have some lovely screen caps of Sharpe covered in mud and blood. Riddick won't bloody stand still though.

Erastes said...

"Give Blud" as he says on the ads.

I know a woman who is going out with a bloke with exactly Sean's accent, and she makes him say "Give Blud" as foreplay. Poor guy...

Angell said...

I honestly don't know if he would count as a bit of rough, but Mr. William H. Bonney sure does it for me.

MMM - ride me hard and hang me up wet. Gots to love a cowboy.

Erastes said...

Hmm.. yes, if he is Brad Pitt or Christian Slater...

But not in real life. He looks like the ginger boy on the Mad covers!!!

http://www.frontiertimes.com/outlaws/images/billy_the_kid2.gif

Angell said...

Too true - just looked up the real life one and he's too wet behind the ears to believe he did all those things. But Emilio Estevez was yummy.

And I just thought of one more:
Sam Elliot in Roadhouse.

RAWR baby.

Madeline Moore said...

I think I like the bald guy on 'Painkiller Jane'. He's an ex-arsonist, rides a motorcycle, the darkest of the gang, and they're all pretty dark.

Harrison in all his guises, yes, but he's a hero, not an anti-hero, so does he count?

Truth be told, the whole rough guy thing has lost a lot of appeal as I get older, because they're such bastards. I bore of bastards.

Great post, E!

Erastes said...

Oh yes, it's not the hero in your man that matters (after all, Snake Plissken was the hero, albiet reluctantly) it's the damn-you attitude to all and sundry. No fair play - just shoot the bastard with the big sword!

Han got a little redeemed, though, which annoyed me, don't like my Roughs to be redeemed.

I do agree though, they aren't really a realistic life-choice, but oo nice to look at.

Mathilde Madden said...

God...

*shuffles*

Um, Tommy Lee

*runs away*

Mathilde Madden said...

Um...

Erastes said...

Oh yes, Mathilde - he's an irredemial Rough!!! Points for you!

Portia Da Costa said...

Vincenzo looking very rough... but not perhaps in the way you meant! LOL

Erastes said...

Portia! Definitely not!

*guffaws* There is a line over which Too Rough becomes... THAT.

Janine Ashbless said...

Portia - where on earth does that picture come from?

Kate Pearce said...

Portia-is that picture from Men in Black??

Despite his looks, Jay Turner in 'Roping the Wind' is a bit of rough as is the unnamed cowboy in 'Sunday Service', so I suppose you could say I like rough tough cowboys...

I'm desperately trying to think of anyone else apart from Sean Bean...

Great post Erastes!

Portia Da Costa said...

Yeah, it's Edgar the Bug from MIB!

I fine piece of character acting from my guy, but not his prettiest role. :)

Portia Da Costa said...

I thought you meant Tommy Lee Jones, Mathilde... 'cos he can be kind of rough and ready sometimes too.

limecello said...

I've gotta say it - I loved this post. Mmm. I'm flaking out - like usual - so after some minor racking of the brain, the roughs I like are Derek Craven in "Dreaming of You" and Joe in "Say No to Joe." Even though they can be sweet and suave, there's just something untamed about them.
I'm sure I'll be hit with some later.

TeresaNoelleRoberts said...

Others have already claimed Sean Bean as Sharpe (or as a score of other morally dubious but hot characters) and Riddick, who are the ones that sprung to mind for me.

Of course the role where I really fell in love with Sean was Boromir, who isn't a "bit of rough" at all. Morally dubious and conflicted, sure, but not scruffy, even when trekking through the wilderness.

In real life, I prefer paladins and wizards to rogues (is my geek showing?)

Janine Ashbless said...

Since we're being geeky...
Aragorn is the exemplar of Faux Rough. He looks like hell but is actually a good guy. Perfect.

Erastes said...

Oh yes, Aragorn is definitely Faux

"Not all that glitters is gold
Not all that wander are lost"

But I wouldn't kick him out of the flet for eating waybread.

Oh god. I'm a geek, and don't deserve a Rough. *ashamed*

Janine Ashbless said...

Geeks rule!

Madelynne Ellis said...

We certainly do!

Janine Ashbless said...

Geeky? - I've got a post about a very naughty Manga comic I found, on my blog today.

Now Manga is one place you won't find any Rough - even the middle-aged villains look like beautiful teenaged boys.

Anonymous said...

Too lazy to try and remember my google password, lol, but Mal from the Firefly//Serenity series/movie. And Jayne, although I adored Wash and he's about as rough as a baby wipe, lol.

-J

shellybell said...

I just stumbled across your link on another blog and thought I'd have a peek... but you've totally snared me by including Greebo on your list.

Been reading Terry Pratchett since I was about 12, and I always remember feeling strangely attracted to that cat... then I read Maskerade (where he's turned into a man) and the lust kicked in. Grrr... Greebo. Yes please.

jothemama said...

Ronon Dax of Stagate Atlantis. He just makes me have dirty dirty thoughts. If he walked past me in real life, could I resist grabbing him by the crotch?
http://l.yimg.com/img.tv.yahoo.com/tv/us/img/site/91/30/0000039130_20070413145208.jpg

Sorry, html is not my friend and it's 1.52am!