Sexy sex slang (Redux)

by Madelynne Ellis

First off, if you haven't taken the quiz and would like to, skip down to yesterday's post, because these are the answers.


1. Which of the following are euphemisms for breasts?

Cakes, dooberry, Dutch dumplings, tallywags, blubber, berkeleys, velvet orbs, charms, poonts, whirligigs, bollocks.

Answer: The following are all euphemisms for breasts: dooberry (90’s), blubber (18C), berkeleys (19C), charms (19C – prior to 18C this term was standard English), poonts (19C). Velvet orbs (60’s), tallywags (late 18C), bollocks (18C) & whirligigs (17C-19C), are all descriptives for testicles. Dutch dumplings (50’s-70’s), are the buttocks. A cake (18C-19C), is a fool, or if you’re Australian (c1910), a prostitute.

2. What is burning shame?

Burning shame (18C) is a form of sexual game where a lighted candle is stuck into the parts of a woman not intended by nature for use as a candlestick ie, vagina or anus, or both.

3. What do a gentleman's usher, a master of ceremonies and a stargazer have in common?

A gentleman's usher (16C-17C), a master of ceremonies (19C) and a stargazer (17C-18C) are all names for the penis.

4. What is easy mort?
a) sex with a corpse
b) a promiscuous woman
c) a snack eaten during sex

Easy mort (17C-18C), is (b) a promiscuous woman.

5. What's the difference between a bobtail and a trull?

About 80 years of history. That is, there’s no real difference, bobtails (17C+) and trulls (late 17C) are both prostitutes.

6. Is someone offered you a tossed salad, what could you expect?

If you asked for a tossed salad (90’s), you could expect analingus embellished by an application of jam/jelly or syrup. Erm, sticky!

7. What is an indorser?
a) a male homosexual
b) a pimp
c) a randy accountant

An indorser (17C+) is a male homosexual.

8. What is a Tetbury portion?

A Tetbury Portion (late 18C), is not as Nikki suggested anything to do with teapots. Shame that. It’s actually, a cunt and a clap, ie. sex followed by venereal disease.

9.What is a shrimper fascinated by?
a) Shrimps
b) Fishermen
c) Feet

A shrimper (60’s) is into (c) feet. Toe-sucking is referred to as shrimping.

10. What is a dry bob?

A dry bob (17C+) is sex without ejaculation by the man.

11. What is bagpiping?
a) sex with a set of bagpipes
b) sex under the armpit
c) sex with an old bag

Bagpiping (late 19C+), is (b) sex under the armpit.

12. What is spray starch?

Spray Starch (60’s) is the figurative substance that keeps heterosexual wrists from drooping. The implication being that all men would be gay given the opportunity.

13. Spot the odd one out in each of these lists.
a) honeypot (18C), muff (17C), sporran (19C), wicket (19C), rose (18C), orange (17C), tit (18C-1900), purse (17C).

Kelp. A kelp (18C) is a form of hat, all the rest are alternative ways of saying vagina.

b) lobb (18C), stalk (16C), doodle (18C), ranger (17C-18C), limb (11C-19C), knock (18C), pintle (18C-19C), tosh (late 19C).

Jague (17C-19C). A jague is a form of ditch. The rest are all cocks.

c) sard (10C-17C), palliardise (18C), brangle (17C), frisk (19C), poop (16C), tommimg (30’s), fugle (18C-19C).

Martingale (19C). Martingale is a gambling term, whereby you double the stakes every time you lose. The rest are all euphemisms for fucking.
d) quean (17C+), molly (18C-1900), trug (16C-18C), sod (19C), mandrake (17C+).

Hoodman. A hoodman is either someone who is blind (18C) or drunk (19C), as in the game hoodman blind. The remainder are all descriptive terms for gay men

Hope you enjoyed that little bit of vulgarity.

Madelynne Ellis