Friday, March 14, 2008

Niki Flynn: Spanking Model

by Janine Ashbless


Every so often we at Lust Bites like to venture to the wilder shores of sexual fantasy (see Kristina on Erotic Degradation for example), before scurrying back to the safety of our writing spaces.
Today I’m delighted to welcome as a guest interviewee Niki Flynn, spanking model.
An American now based in the UK, Niki works in corporal punishment (CP) films, getting spanked, paddled caned and whipped for the pleasure of her many fans. She is an "inmate" in the online "prison" Bars and Stripes. She models vanilla photos too -You can find some stunningly beautiful pictures in the gallery at her website. Her memoir, Dances With Werewolves, has now been published by Virgin Books (tiddly little review below).

And I have just spent two days looking at pictures of her bottom and muttering "Ooch!"

"I don't like BEING punished;I like having BEEN punished."



[Janine] Hello Niki – Welcome to Lust Bites! What brought about the writing of your book, Dances With Werewolves? Did you enjoy writing it?

[Niki] I’ve been lucky enough (and exhibitionistic enough) to be able to live out my fantasies on camera and I wanted to share my story with the world. I’ve spent my life exploring the dark side of female sexuality. Tentatively expressing my desires to judgmental partners who called me a freak, testing the waters with kinky guys I met online and finally diving straight into the world of spanking movies. I want my book to reach others who have similar fantasies, but who always thought they were alone.

I had a Yahoo group at the time and several members suggested writing a memoir. (The group has since been banned by Yahoo: Thoughtcrime!) I was pretty hesitant at first and my editor had to tell me to stop writing as though my parents were reading over my shoulder. Once I let go I found the whole process incredibly liberating, if a bit scary.

[J] Bars and Stripes describes you as the "ever lovely but slightly mad inmate Niki Flynn". Is this because you’ve suggested virgin sacrifices to Great Cthulhu? Should we be worried?

[N] The only sacrifice I’d suggest would be me, though I’d have a hard time pulling off the "virgin" act. Incidentally, the "slightly mad" refers to my Bars & Stripes character: a pyromaniac who carries a teddy bear and doesn’t speak. After an amorous affair with my cellmate, a prison riot and some shock treatment from the evil Matron, I tried to murder the governor and was sent to the prison dungeon to be thrashed by the guards. Yum!

[J] Do you consider yourself a porn star, or is CP a different thing altogether?

[N] I get a kick out of calling myself a porn star, yeah. My films are "intended to arouse" just as mainstream porn films are; it’s simply a different genre.

[J] What makes you want to reach out to the vanilla community?

[N] Is anyone truly 100% vanilla? I think that most people want some variation on plain old married missionary sex for procreation. Kinky people generally know what it’s like to feel alienated because of their fantasies. I certainly did. I want my book to reach the demure housewife who feels guilty about her rape fantasies or her wish to be spanked. The simple act of owning what turns you on is empowering. I realise I’m at the more extreme end of the spectrum, but I hope my experiences will offer encouragement to others who have felt isolated by their unconventional desires.

[J] Explain to us, please, what the lure and reward of being spanked is for you.

[N] Fear is intensely erotic for me, so a lot of the appeal lies in the anticipation. The pain itself isn’t the focus; that’s really just a vehicle to get to the sense of achievement on the other side. Anxiety, exposure, vulnerability, surrender, pain, endurance, bliss… What I enjoy most is the afterglow, the tingling and exhilaration of having suffered and survived. It’s the culmination of a journey requiring absolute trust.

[J] You’ve said you’re not Bi. Does it make a difference to you whether you’re being punished by a man or a woman?

[N] Oh, definitely. I enjoy playing with women, but it doesn’t have the sinister sexual undercurrent that being topped by a man does. Even if it’s a purely non-sexual scene (like a school scenario) there’s still an erotic subtext lurking beneath the surface. The hottest thing for me about erotic fiction is the setup and anticipation. I’m not half as interested in the actual sex as I am in the predatory tango that led to it!

[J] I think a number of Lusties would agree with you on that! Outside your CP work, how would you characterise yourself? Are you naturally submissive or is this a role you take on and off?

[N] You know, I always used to say I’m not submissive at all. And in day-to-day reality I’m not. But I’ve learnt that there IS a natural submissive in me – someone who does want to give up all control. So I suppose it’s a facet of me. Certainly not a role, but not my everyday self either.

[J] How important is the roleplay in a CP situation for you? Is the pain enough, or does it have to take place within a fantasy powerplay situation?

[N] The roleplay is almost more important than the CP. In fact, sometimes pain isn’t even necessary. The headiest thing of all for me is psychological domination. For example, I’m just back from a weekend of school roleplay – a boarding school scenario where everyone was "in character" the whole time. The focus was on creating the authentic experience of being at a school where CP was a real option. Of course there WAS punishment, but it wasn’t the sole purpose of the roleplay. I loved being subject to the authority of the teachers, even when I was being good and doing my homework. I loved the structure: formal lessons, set bedtime and lights out, uniform inspections, etc. It was total immersion in fantasy powerplay; the CP was really just a bonus!

[J] For those who prefer to see a male bottom being spanked, is there a parallel industry of male sub films? How about gay spanking films?

[N] There is a parallel, but it’s a smaller market. (Actual sessions with dominatrices are probably far more popular than films.) I suspect the gay male film market is larger, but I don’t know any of the players. I know lots of vanilla girls love M/M sex scenes and lots of spanko girls – myself included – love to see M/M discipline scenes. There’s no shortage of CP slash fic, either!

[J] The main problem with hardcore CP for an outsider is that by its nature it does not look consensual – we wonder if the "victims" have been bullied, drugged, forced or trafficked into taking part, since after all these are established facts within the wider sex industry. What is your experience within the CP industry? What producers can you recommend to us that are trustworthy?

[N] I can certainly vouch for all the ones I’ve worked for. I’m sure there are disreputable companies out there, but I haven’t encountered them. It’s a much smaller industry than the mainstream sex one, so it’s very incestuous and if there’s a bad apple out there, word gets around pretty fast. In general, if a company has a large Internet presence and a big stable of "regular" girls (especially familiar names), they’re probably pretty safe. I get lots of emails from girls who want to break into the industry and don’t know where to start. Based on their limits and experience, I usually know who to recommend for a first shoot.

[J] Do you think you’ll carry on with the schoolgirl stuff indefinitely, or does it have an age limit?

[N] I can’t see ever losing my love of schoolie stuff in private roleplay, but it definitely has an age limit as far as films go! And really, I’ve had more fun playing spies and political prisoners than schoolgirls.

[J] What will you not do on film? Where are your hard boundaries? Have they changed over the years?

[N] They’ve changed in general, but my film limits haven’t. People often ask me if I’d ever consider doing mainstream porn and it surprises them when I say no. There are lots of things I’m comfortable doing in front of the camera (and indeed some are made more exciting by the camera), but actual sex is something I keep private.

[J] "No one knew where I was. Not even Cameron. I was completely at the mercy of five self-proclaimed sadists I’d only met that morning. I was outnumbered, bound and blindfolded." This particular encounter in Germany seemed to me insanely risky, and I thought you were very lucky it didn’t go badly wrong. (I will add that I’m genuinely pleased you have no damaging experiences to report in your book and I hope that continues to be the case.) Is real risk part of the thrill for you?

[N] Ouch. That’s a tough one. I take "safe" real risks, if that makes sense. I wouldn’t have gone to an abandoned factory to meet a total stranger, but I felt reasonably secure meeting a known fetish photographer and his friends. The thought of a "Hostel" scenario in the moment you quoted from in my book was strong enough to enhance my fear of the situation, but deep down I don’t think I honestly believed I was in genuine danger. If I’d got any sort of creepy vibe from anyone, I wouldn’t have gone along with it. It’s tricky to have the right balance when it comes to fear. I’m a bit reckless, sure, but I’m not self-destructive. Frankly, I think hurtling down the Autobahn afterwards was the most dangerous thing about that shoot!

[J] Do you really believe that the graphic titillating portrayal of violence against women is harmless? That it doesn’t legitimise and normalise those fantasies, or blur the boundaries between fantasy and reality?

[N] There’s a huge difference between violent criminals and fantasists. Fantasists know the difference between reality and fantasy. People who commit violent crimes have violent tendencies and they will commit violent acts with or without porn. The same argument has been made against TV violence, video games, horror movies and rock music. Putting the focus on external factors like porn shifts the burden of proof to our free expression, marginalises our sexuality and ignores the fact that the vast majority of us DON’T commit violent crimes.

It’s human nature to want to believe that violence must have a tangible cause. Eliminate the cause and you eliminate violence. But violence arises from far more complex psychological factors; they aren’t created by dirty pictures. Think about Japan, where rape fantasy porn is very popular and widely available and yet they have one of the lowest sex crime rates in the world. Think about Middle Eastern cultures where porn is strictly illegal and yet violence against women is condoned and supported by law. And where do portrayals of violence against male subs fit into the argument?

[J] I love your website/blog – could get lost in there for hours. How much time does the website, reading and answering fanmail etc take up in your day? Are you a keen techie?

[N] Oh, it takes up way too much of my time. I’m not all that technical, but I CAN type 120 wpm!

[J] Do you think kinky people are born that way, or is it result of pivotal youthful experiences, or is it something you can just drift into?

[N] Theories vary on just what "causes" a fetish or a kinky inclination. Some people have some major defining moment they can pinpoint, but others (like me) don’t. I personally feel I was born kinky and my interest was nurtured by all the horror films I saw as a kid. I learned to eroticise the dread and suspense.

[J] You seem to lead a bit of a double life. Do you think you’ll ever be able to proudly tell all your vanilla friends and relatives what you do for a living? Will CP ever be mainstream?

[N] CP is already becoming a little more mainstream with films like Secretary out there. But I doubt if any fetish will ever be accepted in the wider sense. As to telling vanilla friends and relatives – I do dream of living in a world that could accept it without judgment, but I’m realistic enough to acknowledge that it will probably never happen. For all its exposure, sex still frightens people.

[J] If you could get one thing across about yourself and/or CP to our vanilla readers, what would it be?

[N] Don’t be afraid of your fantasies and never be ashamed of them.

[J] Do you read erotic fiction?

[N] Oh yes. And you can probably guess the kind that pushes my buttons! Got any recommendations?

[J] Well, I have a strong feeling you’ll like anything by Kristina Lloyd! You’ve written erotic fiction for yourself. Tempted to get some published now you’re a famous name and have a non-fiction book under your belt?

[N] It would be fun, but I fear the guidelines on consent would throw a wrench into most of my story machinery. There are disclaimers in erotic novels saying "In real life practise safe sex", so why can’t there be a disclaimer saying "In real life only do this in consensual roleplay"? Maybe I’ll write mainstream horror instead; I can get away with a lot more that way!

[J] Coffee or tea? Cats or dogs? Cthulhu or Nyarlathotep?

[N] Tea, dogs and Nyarlathotep, definitely. Far more charismatic than Cthulhu, hot images of tentacle bondage notwithstanding.

[J] Me too. Thank you Niki! Hope it wasn’t too much like being tied down and questioned by the military police. Oh, er, right, hold on …


Janine adds: I read Niki’s book for this interview and I have to recommend it as an absolutely fascinating read. She covers a wide range of topics: childhood influences, behind-the-scenes at the different shoots she’s been involved with (ranging from straightforward caning-the-bad-girl stuff to extremely gruelling and political films for the notorious Czech company Lupus), her relations with her fans and her own love-life. It’s an insider glimpse in to a world most of us can only speculate about, and it’s brave, funny and articulate. It also, as you may be able to guess, made me suck my teeth and shake my head sometimes. It made me re-assess my own boundaries, and think about why I set my limits in particular places. And any book that makes you think is a good thing by my reckoning.

Niki is kindly offering a signed copy of Dances With Werewolves to one lucky winner today! So comment below for your chance to win – even if all you can say is OUCH!

xxx
Janine

Picture credits: 1 Virgin Books. 2 www.bars-and-stripes.com 3 Steve Yates. 4&8 www.northernspanking.com 5 www.erosartist.com 6 www.nikiflynn.com 7&9 Ben Marcato.

34 comments:

Olivia Knight said...

I'll say something more articulate than "OUCH" after another coffee... but meanwhile - usually I don't like pictures of spanking; those were spectacular, as are the ones on Niki's website. Sometimes it takes a while to realise it's not a particular fetish you don't like - just the low quality versions you've encountered thus far, then you see something beautifully done and the light dawns: of course! that's the attraction! Promote perfection in porn! Now before I prattle on with a plethora of superfluous p's, I'll patter off for my - um - coffee. Damn. No p there.

Nikki Magennis said...

Percolated pick-me-up, maybe, Olivia?

Fabulous interview, Janine and Niki. Very interesting.

Madelynne Ellis said...

Role-playing weekends where you get spanked! I think I'll stick to fleeing from Nyarlathotep! Fascinating insight, mind.

Niki Flynn said...

Thanks for the introduction and great presentation! Janine, you asked some really great questions.

"Promote perfection in porn" sounds like a fantastic idea, Olivia. We do our best. ;-)

Eloise said...

Of course if Nyarlathotep wants the tentacles look I'm sure it could be one of 1,000 shapes to have even more tentacles!

Janine Ashbless said...

Janine, you asked some really great questions.
I asked some quite brutal questions Niki - kudos and thanks for dealing with them honestly and without taking offence.

I'm really glad I did this interview (and read the book). Since my experience of spanking is confined to domestic, unchallenging stuff (I don't actually want it to hurt!) I came to the subject with some trepidation. But it's certainly cranked open my mind a notch or too. And Niki was very nice to me!

Niki Flynn said...

I'm from the Hannibal Lecter school of manners: we can disagree on things, but as long as we're courteous to each other, no one needs to get eaten.

As to "brutal" questions - how could I take offense? You have to ask the ones you want answers to and address the controversial issues. Otherwise we might as well just swap herbal tea recipes. (Though you really should have worn a peaked cap and pounded the table more.)

Crystal Adkins said...

Ok yes Ouch is a definite but Wow is also a word that comes to mind! I don't have a spanking fetish but being spanked every now and then would be ok...I would just have to muster up the nerve to ask for it :)

tls said...

ouch, but interesting.

Shanna Germain said...

This was great! I loved the interview, and the photos as well. Thanks so much for sharing...it sounds like you've had some amazing experiences :)

The hottest thing for me about erotic fiction is the setup and anticipation. I’m not half as interested in the actual sex as I am in the predatory tango that led to it!

I loved this bit as well, as I'm the same way, and so are many of my characters. They tend to do a lot of tangoing before they get down to it!

Best, s.

Angell said...

Now there's a career my guidance councellor never told me about.

Excellent interview all.

Niki Flynn said...

Crystal: Oh, I never ASK for it; I just provoke it. ;-)

Deanna Ashford said...

Thanks for the frank interview Janine and Niki, it was fascinating. It isn't really a subject I've delved into before.

Kate said...

Even though I'm a 100% into spanking myself, I always like reading interviews like these. I'm still waiting to get to the UK to get my copy of Dancing with Werewolfs, but I'll get there in the end ;-)

Kate Pearce said...

Absolutely fascinating interview-thank you both for being so candid and open :)

I'm not really into spanking etc (no surprise there, eh fellow lusties?) but it is really interesting to hear the reasons why it does appeal to others.

And I have to agree, those pictures definitely gave me a little thrill :)

Dayle A. Dermatis said...

"There are lots of things I’m comfortable doing in front of the camera (and indeed some are made more exciting by the camera), but actual sex is something I keep private."

I find this utterly fascinating. It brings to mind our "...But I Won't Do That" post as well as the whole porn vs. erotica (and sometimes vs. romance) debate. Some would feel that what you're "exposing" on film is more intimate than the act of sex.

No real point to this rambling except that it's all very interesting food for thought! Thanks for spending time with us, Niki!

Niki Flynn said...

Dayle: That's a very good point indeed. I do find the BDSM power exchange more intimate than sex, so now you've made me wonder why I keep it private. Interesting.

And Kate: You don't have to go all the way to the UK to get it. It depends where you are, but it's certainly available in the States.

kristina lloyd said...

Really, really loved the galleries! It's so rare to see femsub imagery that truly captures what it's about for *her*. I loved the interrogation, fuck the pope, meat cleaver, barbed wire bondage, Stalin. So very hot indeed.

Thanks for the plug, Janine! And yup - I think Niki and I might have a few kinks in common. Spanking isn't my thing but fear, risk, degradation, non-con ... bring it on!

Great interview, really thoughtful and smart. Thanks, Niki.

Alison Tyler said...

Kinks in Common

Is this not the perfect title for a BDSM-couple's erotica collection?

Sorry. Just had to say that.

Lovely interview. I won't say "ouch" as it's been said. So I'll say "mmmm" instead.

XXX,
Alison

Niki Flynn said...

Kristina, I had a look at your site (thanks for the recommendation, Janine!) and yeah, I think we're kindred spirits. I've just ordered your book, "Asking for Trouble". I'll be sure to read it in a public place.

Re: "Kinks in Common". It could also be a 12-step program for coming to terms with one's perversity.

Anonymous said...

For someone with fantasies as dark as you, Niki, I can see how the usual consensuality guidelines would get in the way. But as you say, fantasies shouldn't have to be consensual. If you ever get your fiction published, I'll want to read it.

As for what's out there now... have you come across Carrie's Story (Molly Weatherfield) or Over the Knee (Fiona Locke)? Both are from the bottom's perspective, both sound as if they're written from experience, and both spoke to something inside me that I've been struggling to understand. One is BDSM with a lot of pony-play (does that resonate for you?) and the other is disciplinary spanking with a touch of romance.

Enjoy,
Carla

cc said...

not "ouch" but "yum" -- lovely interview and a book I'll be adding to the pile

Niki Flynn said...

Carla: I know both books. I have Carrie's Story, but haven't read it yet. Pony-play is something I've always been curious about, so I'm interested in exploring it.

CC: I do hope you enjoy it!

kristina lloyd said...

Cool! I got a royalty! I really hope you enjoy Asking for Trouble, Niki. And thank you. I'm keen to read Dances With Werewolves. Heck, five sadists. *Fans self*.

And Carla, yes. Carrie's Story is a wonderful book, one of my faves. Molly Weatherfield was interviewed here last year. There's a link in the sidebar. It's well worth checking out for anyone who missed it.

Janine Ashbless said...

*Falls into room throwing down rucksack*

I'll be announcing the lucky winner of Niki's book later this week coming. Shall we say, um, Thursday. Thursday is nice.

Someone give me Tea!

rlr260 said...

That's a great interview, and the book sounds fascinating!

Ludwig said...

A very interesting and thought-provoking interview, as always with Niki. It's great to see kinky artists like her speak so lucidly about what we in the BDSM crowd do and how we explore our fantasies.

If you liked that interview, you might be interested in one I recently did with the spanking model Leia-Ann Woods. You can find it here:

http://rohrstockpalast.blogspot.com/2008/02/interview-leia-ann-woods.html

Anonymous said...

I'm curious about two areas which don't seem to have aroused any curiosity:
(1) What do you get out of delivering (as against receiving) pain?
(2) What (if anything) do you get out of spanko-voyeurism? And with which participant do you have the stronger empathy? And, empathy apart, does viewing of a spanking have any further appeal for you - do you for example enjoy seeing the personal responses(facial expressions, bodily movements,etc) of spanker/spankee? the whole atmosphere? the dramatic build-up? the catharsis if any?) And how does all this compare with the real-life experience?

Janine Ashbless said...

Good questions, anonymous. We need to find someone who enjoys delivering a spanking to answer (1). I've tried and found it unable to sustain my interest unless the victim squeals and wriggles a lot. And then I think I'm just empathising with what I imagine those sensations to be.

Madeline Moore said...

This is terrific stuff. Kudos to Janine for the interview and Niki Flynn for being herself, and being so wonderfully lucid on the topic.

My apologies for this late comment, I'm not well at the moment and my reuter is acting up, but I couldn't let this post come and go without adding my two cents worth. Thank you!

Niki Flynn said...

"(1) What do you get out of delivering (as against receiving) pain?"

I do enjoy being the top occasionally, but on those rare occasions, what appeals to me most is the control (mine) and trust (theirs). I absolutely love playing with a sub I can coax into taking pain, making me proud, surrendering control to me. It's a very sensual experience for me as a top and I really value being let into someone else's mind, to be trusted to take them somewhere intense - ideally if they're frightened and worried they might not be able to "take it". You'd be surprised what you can take in the right headspace!

"(2) What (if anything) do you get out of spanko-voyeurism? And with which participant do you have the stronger empathy? And, empathy apart, does viewing of a spanking have any further appeal for you - do you for example enjoy seeing the personal responses(facial expressions, bodily movements,etc) of spanker/spankee? the whole atmosphere? the dramatic build-up? the catharsis if any?) And how does all this compare with the real-life experience?"

I don't get a whole lot out of voyeurism unless I have some connection to the events or the participants. I love to see someone taking his/her very first spanking/caning, for example. I almost always empathise with the bottom and I focus mostly on the facial reactions. Hell, I've seen enough bottoms to last me a lifetime! LOL

Best of all is the buildup, though. That I do enjoy watching if it's done by someone with real authority. I love to see a good telling-off, to see the miscreant blush, squirm, wring their hands, protest meekly, then finally surrender to the inevitable. That's the key moment in any such scene for me.

But even as hot as that may be for me, it can never compete with the real experience.

Hope that answered some of your questions, anonymous!

Karl Friedrich Gauss said...

And not only is Niki an exciting and original player and actress, but her website is one of the most beautifully designed blogs out there in the spanko universe.

What a good idea to feature her here with this interview!

Sir Z. said...

Further to Janine Ashbless's 'first we need to find...' I can answer that what I 'get' out of delivering a spanking to my sub is a high akin to the purest romantic love; indeed, the trust and desire to please on both sides far transcends any vanilla experience (I have known much orthodox loving and, had my Heart broken by a faithless wife and also a very dear sub who married into the vanilla world and was lost to me, tho' we are delightfully, still good friends) and would be hard to live without now. I had no idea I was a 'top' until I was sent my first 'bottom' by a friend who passed her to me in the manner of 'the story of O'. My beloved sub and I consider ourselves blessed beyond the norm by our perfect dovetailing. with love to all who are genuinely interested, Z.

Sir Z. said...

Further to Janine Ashbless's 'first we need to find...' I can answer that what I 'get' out of delivering a spanking to my sub is a high akin to the purest romantic love; indeed, the trust and desire to please on both sides far transcends any vanilla experience (I have known much orthodox loving and, had my Heart broken by a faithless wife and also a very dear sub who married into the vanilla world and was lost to me, tho' we are delightfully, still good friends) and would be hard to live without now. I had no idea I was a 'top' until I was sent my first 'bottom' by a friend who passed her to me in the manner of 'the story of O'. My beloved sub and I consider ourselves blessed beyond the norm by our perfect dovetailing. with love to all who are genuinely interested, Z.