Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Boring Average Men...and the ones you love despite yourself.

by Kate Pearce

So we've had Lust Bites about Bloody men, young men, old men, bad men, wet men etc etc, but have we ever ventured into the area of average or conventional men? The ones that some of us, well me, secretly love but might have been afraid to admit to?

I'll admit it-since the age of six I've had crushes on a lot of average guys and a lot of 'oh my god, I really shouldn't like this guy because everyone else does' ones. Each one of them meant something important to me at the time. For your entertainment I'm going to share them all. Some of them might not be too familiar to our American readers, but I'm sure you'll enjoy looking at them just the same.

So here goes a veritable time line of crushes...

1. Rolf Harris Artist, pop star, Australian, wacky game show host.
why: I was six, he looked just like my dad, and as I'd realized by then that I couldn't actually marry my dad- Rolf would have to do.

2. Scott Tracey from Thunderbirds. why And yes I know he's a puppet-but I still had a big crush on him.Look at those dimples!

3. Spock. why: He had pointy ears. I have pointy ears-a match made in heaven.

4. John Noakes-T.V. host of the Blue Peter show. why. Rugged, northern and blunt. He also sky-dived out of a plane and I swore I'd do it one day too. I did on my 40th birthday.

5. Donny Osmond. why: Donny had big teeth and lots of brothers who liked to sing. I have big front teeth and lots of sisters who like to sing (especially when drunk)

6. Starsky. why Excessive teenage lust. I had a whole scrapbook dedicated to pictures of him I cut out of magazines-that's true love-I even bought his knitted jacket and wore it constantly. I even wished he'd brought out a single instead of Hutch.

7. Pete Duel. The original half of Alias Smith and Jones. why More teenage unrequited lust and so much more interesting than Ben Curry.

And then there was a lull when I discovered REAL BOYS and I didn't really rediscover my need to crush until I was a young mother, bored out of my mind at home with the kids...and along came:

8. Jimmy Nail, actor, singer, real man. why I have absolutely no idea but I still love him.

9. Justin Timberlake. why Um...I like his music?

10. Take That boy band featuring Robbie Williams and other studly young men young enough to be my baby brothers, if not my sons. why I had 3 kids, I was at home alone, they were so...chirpy-I've run out of excuses...

So tell me-you know what I want to know-your youthful crushes and why they brought out the beast in you...


Janine Ashbless said...

God that's brave - Rolf Harris!

Okay, here goes: cheesey crushes past and present:
Ford Prefect (from the TV version of Hitchhikers' Guide to the Galaxy). David Mitchell (the chubby one from Mitchell and Webb). John Sessions!!(chubby comic actor). Grover and Gonzo (muppets). Dara O'Brien, Michael McIntyre, Stephen Fry (all comedians and none of them svelt). Sandy (from the Chinese series Monkey). Avon (from Blakes 7). Jonathan Meades the architect/presenter.

Jeez, it's basically anyone scathingly funny, overweight and bit posh, isn't it?
Oh dear.

Olivia Knight said...

My science teacher. You were supposed to fancy the art teacher, who walked as if an invisible cape flowed behind him, but I fancied the tall, droll, slightly balding one. (Um - if you're reading this - sorry for the description, sir. But you were a bit.) For a start, his notes were so well organised... ;-) I was sufficiently inspired that science became my highest mark, but I think my crush baffled my friends.

Portia Da Costa said...

Always rather liked Spock, and Starsky too.

Can't say I've ever had a thing for Rolf, but he seems like really nice guy.

Virgil was always my preferred Tracy! :)

Madeline Moore said...

Fun! Thanks for the opportunity to confess, Kate...

The Monkees (instead of The Beatles, at first...oh the shame)

Robert Wagner - from 'It Takes a Thief' - I pretended my pillow was Bob...

My biggest pre-teen crush and the reason I regretted having to move to Thailand because I'd miss the show - Michael Cole from the Mod Squad. I had a huge blue billboard on my bedroom wall covered with Mod Squad pictures, predominantly of him. Oh Michael, what happened to you? You were soooOOooooo...Mod.

Kate Pearce said...

Janine-at least you can identify a theme-I'm not sure about mine apart from the fact that they are all dark-haired!

Ooh I loved Avon too-so bitingly sarcastic, so bitter-again just like my dad! LOL

Kate Pearce said...

Come on Olivia, there must be someone famous you crushed on that you haven't mentioned yet!
Share-no one's looking honestly-it's just us Lusties

Kate Pearce said...

Portia, you see, I always thought Virgil was a even when I didn't really know what that meant!

Kate Pearce said...

Madeline, I liked the tall dark one with the knitted hat whose name escapes me at the moment. Again tall and dark-a theme!
Of the Beatles it was always George Harrison for me :)

Madeline Moore said...

Mickey Dolenz, if you're talking about the Monkees, Kate. If you're talking about Mod Squad, 'Linc', played by Clarence Washington III.

I've crushed on regular nerd type guys, too, but dating them didn't go well. I was too wild for them, back in the day.

I've never crushed on a puppet, tho, or a character in animation...which, I think, dates me. I think it's hip, now, or at least very acceptable, to crush on make believe guys, not characters in books and movies, but characters in manga etc. If I had to pick a puppet I'd probably pick Pinnochio, though, and make him Lie! Tell the Truth! Lie bigger! Tell the truth! Lie! Lie! I imagine Pinnochio can get quite the woody....

Charlotte McClain said...

I'll limit myself to the highlights.

1. John Gage (Randolph Mantooth) from Emergency, Why? You really need to meet my husband to understand. I freaking managed to marry my very first crush.

2. Steve Perry from Journey Why? My sister liked him. I was impressionable.

As an adult I really got a thing for Marty Milner from when he was on Adam-12. I could listen to him talk for days. I nearly hunted down his fishing radio show just to listen to him talk. Now that's bad. And I'm totally with you on Pete Duel.

Jeremy Edwards said...

Madeline, I promise I won't tell Michael "Wool Hat" Nesmith that you mistook him for Micky Dolenz. ; )

When Snoopy, Come Home was first released (I was about ten years old at the time), I left the theater with a big crush on this girl.

Kate Pearce said...

Charlotte-I'm totally impressed that you married your first crush-thank god I didn't marry mine!

I'm not laughing at Steve Perry...I'm not, really...
each to their own, right?

Kate Pearce said...

Hey Jeremy!
Who is 'that girl'? I can't remember her name!

And btw-where do you stand on the Thunderbird issue, Lady Penelope, Parker??

Kate Pearce said...

That's right! Michael Nesmith!
thank you Jeremy!

Jeremy Edwards said...

I don't know if she has a name—if so, I don't think I ever knew it. She may have been introduced only as "Snoopy's former owner." I think she only appeared in one plotline.

And I'm an ignoramus when it comes to Thunderbirds! I know what they are, but I'm not conversant. However, I'll check out the cute puppet babes tonight. Thanks for the hot tip!

JamiSings said...

Mr. Spock for me, but not for pointy ears. I was three years old. Mr. Spock had dark hair, my dad had dark hair, Mr. Spock was a scientist, my dad is a scientist. Mr. Spock can't carry a tune in a bucket (whatever you do, do NOT go to YouTube and look up Leonard Nimoy "singing" The Ballad Of Billbo Baggins." It's worse then Shatner's Rocket Man!), my dad is totally tone deaf.

So Spock basically was an alien version of my dad.

I also used to have a crush on actor/singer Michael Crawford. Of course, that was actually about 10 years ago. LOL

Um - more fictional guys - Sherlock Holmes (okay, cocaine using smoking woman-hater, and yet I loved him) - Gambit aka Remy Le Beau from The X-Men (how I LOTHE that tramp Rogue! Seriously, she flirts with any man polite enough to say "Please pass the salt" she might as well have a revolving door on her bedroom. "Untouchable" my big butt! Quit leading Remy on, woman, and free him up for someone who'll appreciate him!) - Beast aka Hank McCoy also of the X-Men - The Phantom Of The Opera (guess he's considered a bad guy though, even though it's really Raoul who's the villian).

Ms Menozzi said...

OMG!!! PETE DUEL??? I didn't know anyone else knew who he was!


(We have that in common, then...)

I also crushed on Mike Nesmith, by the way, as well as Michael Palin of Monty Python fame (he was my first mad crush, at 8 years old!) and Jarvis Cocker of Brit-pop band Pulp. (What *is* it about those Sheffield boys, anyway?)

Fun list of guys, and more than a few I can remember digging back in the day...

You are *so* not alone!


Jeremy Edwards said...

Okay, I've checked out Lady Penelope. Her expression is a little too wooden for my tastes ... but I think I'd probably enjoy hearing erotica read aloud in that voice.

Oh, and I recommend this video!

Madeline Moore said...

Oops, confused one Monkee with ashamed should I be?
Not like I confused a couple of the Beatles.

My first crush was on a boy who had the same name as me. No, not Madeline, my real name. We thought it would be fun to get married and have the exact same name. I was eight.

Kate Pearce said...

Ms Menozzi-I think we think alike-tall dark and handsome is definitely the way to go!

Kate Pearce said...

Jamisings-Mr. Spock had quite an impact on us all didn't he? I love that-an alien version of your dad, whereas I went for an Australian version of my dad. (groan for bad pun)